No show at party

😂

Kids’ birthday party no-shows are really common. There’s usually at least someone who doesn’t turn up to most of ours. We had one very sad year where hardly anyone showed up. I agree it’s quite rude. Mistakes happen, I’ve done it (once, and sent mortified apologies as soon as I realised) but to not apologise or to do it deliberately is rude. But you just need to let it go. Not worth the angst. We have 4 kids, and sometimes there can be a birthday party or two in the diary every week for months on end. It can get quite tiresome, so it’s no wonder parents deprioritise it sometimes, especially if they have a lot going on in their lives. A courtesy ‘sorry we can no longer make it’ would have cost nothing, but you can’t force people to behave how you want them to, and there is nothing to be gained through having a dig or getting wound up about it. If you do anything, kill her with kindness and offer a play date as a PP suggested.

As others have said plenty, it’s too late and you’re being unreasonable if you bring it up now. All you’d be doing is starting an argument or possibly making a rough time for someone you already know is going through it.
You say you waited for this child, you could’ve text at the time and that would’ve been the time to raise it, or immediately after the party. Passive aggressively thanking guests and watching whether she read it isn’t any better of you really.
You have no idea what is going on in others lives and it may be nothing, she may have fully forgotten for no reason at all or due to divorce stress and by the time you send the thank you have felt too embarrassed to raise it. Any manner of things could be going on. Having the chance to quickly open a message doesn’t mean a person has the mental capacity or time at that time to form a reply. I say this as someone who missed a child’s birthday party while my other (non invited child) was in and out of hospital. I didn’t explain myself to the mother for a whole month after, I knew and felt like such a failure to my child because there was so much I was going through with her sibling. It wasn’t something I was able to do while coping with so much other things going on. Sometimes people can’t put others first when they can’t even cope with their own lives. Cut her some slack.

I prefer to lead by example rather than teach my kids that it's ok to berate other people. But whatever. You do you.

You know she’s going through a tough time yet want to add to this by giving her shit for forgetting about your child’s party?

She’s having a rough time, perhaps offer her some support rather than using this to tear her down some more. Your child’s party just wasn't the centre of her universe, she has a lot of shit on her plate right now.

It's definitely not ok!

Some people are crap

Don't bother.

Just avoid her next time

It was a kids garden party. It does not matter. You got your apology. It is absolutely acceptable for grown ups to be imperfect occassionally. You are not the birthday party police. Let it goooooo

OK and? The sun will still come up tomorrow, you really seem obsessed

Was the child even with her that day, if she's going through a divorce was the child with her dad, does she think her daughter went?

Just let it go. You’ve said she’s having a hard time with a divorce, why make her feel bad?
You sound exhausting and bitter to me, why are you focusing one uneaten hotdog? Maybe take a look at your own mental health and try to be kind to others, lead by example and stay classy.

I'd probably leave it now, but would have messaged in the chat on the day asking if she was coming. Or after and say we missed x today I hope everything is OK.

I think it's a bit late for that now 😂

In all honesty, although she has been rude and hasn't been nice in the past, time has passed, and it's probably a bit late to send a message now. You know for the future that you can always message her before the time for arrival to check if the child is going to attend or not. I think if you do message her and she makes a big deal of it by getting upset, you are the one who will get shredded to pieces by others. Personally, I wouldn't do it.

Forget about it and don't invite next time. It didn't cost you anymore to host her as it was a party at home. My son had a racing party that cost £30 a head and the kid didn't show up. I let it go as they were known for being flaky re attending things and didn't invite again.

You need to take a chill pill mate.

So just forget it then.

Yea it’s annoying when people do not communicate but honestly, just let it go and still invite her daughter if your DD has another birthday party.
Just be kind.

Yes it's annoying but just leave it and then don't invite next time.

When I was going through a divorce every single day was a struggle just to get up, get dressed, get myself to work.
If she had suffered a bereavement would you feel the same way? Because I can tell you for some people Divorce is the most painful emotional experience they will ever encounter.
Instead of seeing this person as rude, see her as someone going through pain and heartbreak and send a message saying, you are sorry she didn't make the party but you know she is going through a very difficult time and you are thinking of her.

Just let it go- she probably is having a horrible time , you have no idea what her problem was on that day and you are being really quite petty. Get over it

We failed to go to the birthday party of one of DC best friends. I thought it was on a different day. We'd bought a present and everything. My DC was devestated. I still feel guilty ten years later 😂

Let it go. It's not normal to seethe over a kids party like this.