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Original poster

To feel sad I’m becoming less adventurous and more scared of things

118 replies

Minesacherrycoke · 02/09/2024 08:39

I moved abroad at 23, have more or less travelled the world, loved adventure, driving in India & Morocco, staying in dodgy places, living in a whole new culture, learning new languages, not a lot phased me.
I now have a yearning to return to live in the U.K., not fly again or rarely, just lead a very safe life…feel like I’m becoming a bit scared of things/insecure
Does this just naturally happen more with age (46) or there something wrong
Does anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
Temporaryname158 · 02/09/2024 08:55

I spent my youth like you and am now early 40’s. The adventure is still there but I now want a nice hotel (just clean and well located not 5*) as I don’t want to rough it any more.

I think you have to keep challenging yourself and either doing new things or repeating things you did when younger to keep the bravery there, even small things

AylesBuck · 02/09/2024 08:55

I feel the same. Was very adventurous but less so now in my mid forties.
It started when I had my children (30s), not sure why, may be some primal survival thing.
Then in my 40s it got worst, I wonder if it’s hormonal. I never experienced anxiety before and now it’s like the minor “risk” triggers it: road trip, flying, or simply the kids being away from me. I long for a quiet life somewhere isolated like an island (with my forever young children) It is weird.

Bibblunders · 02/09/2024 08:54

Minesacherrycoke · 02/09/2024 08:47

@Bibblunders The thought of the plane mainly, I used to love flying, love the whole airport experience…I don’t know..travelling and seeing new places was my ultimate favourite thing, maybe it’s age or having a child

This is strange to me. DH and I live for travel. Love the whole airport experience, love flying etc. I read somewhere that menopause can make you anxious. I think that is partly true, because I had anxiety about a few things a few years ago, that don't bother me now. Silly things, like someone breaking into the house when DH was at work (he does some night shifts). They don't bother me now, so it only lasted maybe a year or two. Maybe it's that? But you don't want to stop travelling at your age! Think of all the adventures you can have in retirement.

"The ship is safe in the harbour, but that's not what ships are for"

Original poster
Minesacherrycoke · 02/09/2024 08:53

I’ve been remembering caravan holidays in Wales as a kid and craving those this summer

OP posts:
biedrona · 02/09/2024 08:51

Absolutely, I'm 45. I've moved countries several times in my life but it is becoming unsustainable as I am getting older. Like you, I am less adventorous, prefer home comforts which are difficult to achieve when constantly moving, renting etc.
Also travelling is not as it was before - delays,natural disasters/pandemics, wars etc. Plus the costs!!!!

Original poster
Minesacherrycoke · 02/09/2024 08:51

@HoppityBun No sorry, I was asking @Bellamari

OP posts:
CharlotteRumpling · 02/09/2024 08:49

I am still roughing it in hostels! Indeed at this very moment.

Original poster
Minesacherrycoke · 02/09/2024 08:49

@Bibblunders Yes, I want to stay like that, I just assumed it was part of my character, sad it’s not really

OP posts:
HoppityBun · 02/09/2024 08:49

Minesacherrycoke · 02/09/2024 08:49

@Bellamari How old are you?

46: it’s in the OP

Original poster
Minesacherrycoke · 02/09/2024 08:49

@Bellamari How old are you?

OP posts:
Bibblunders · 02/09/2024 08:49

I will say though, that I am more discerning, as in I wouldn't stay in "dodgy" places. I'm happy to pay for nice hotels, and pay extra for flights that don't depart or arrive in the middle of the night. I am not happy to rough it, to save money, in the way that I would have done in my 20's. If that makes sense.

CharlotteRumpling · 02/09/2024 08:48

I have done all you did and find myself becoming more adventurous at 52, because time is running out.
I say this not to sound smug, but just to say that it is not inevitable or natural.

Bellamari · 02/09/2024 08:47

I think it happens as you get older. You’re more aware of the risks and less fit and able to handle yourself, which makes you less confident. Nowadays I get panicky about things that I would have done without thinking 20 years ago.

Original poster
Minesacherrycoke · 02/09/2024 08:47

@Objectrelations When did it start for you?

OP posts:
Original poster
Minesacherrycoke · 02/09/2024 08:47

@Bibblunders The thought of the plane mainly, I used to love flying, love the whole airport experience…I don’t know..travelling and seeing new places was my ultimate favourite thing, maybe it’s age or having a child

OP posts:
Original poster
Minesacherrycoke · 02/09/2024 08:45

*Is there something wrong

OP posts:
Bibblunders · 02/09/2024 08:45

I'm 54 and I don't feel like this. I still love travel, and in fact, I am travelling to the other side of the world, in a few weeks time.

What are you scared of?

Objectrelations · 02/09/2024 08:42

Yep completely. I'm 53.