To feel sad I’m becoming less adventurous and more scared of things

I changed like this after having a baby. I think that it’s normal to become more risk averse as you know you are indispensable to your child. You want to stay very safe and keep your child as safe as possible too. I also think peri menopause makes many women more anxious, it definitely had that effect on me.
I am not as adventurous as I was in my twenties , but I feel that there has been another shift this past year, at 59, where I want to do more things again, now I have teenagers 17 and 19, it’s less daunting than with small children.

Yep, I'm 46 and my travel anxiety is terrible. I don't like to travel/drive somewhere I'm unfamiliar with, it makes me really anxious. Apparently this is one of the very many symptoms of peri menopause

same and i’m late 30’s. Lived and travelled extensively abroad. Since having DC flying makes me so much more nervous, I plan for every eventually etc. I loved travelling and still do with DC but it isn’t easy anymore and I worry for days before it. And half the time when i have an idea for a trip I find I just can’t….be bothered 😆 With the faff, expense etc anymore. Maybe cause i’m in a different phase of life than late teens/early twenties and just more tired, but i find the pull to travel and explore less now and less it makes me sad 😞 I’m happy to stay in the UK next year where as before is think i’m such a bore 😆

A little bit. I was never as brave as you, OP, but I do pale slightly at remembering how in my early 20s my best friend and I went travelling to the Middle East, India etc with nothing but a few travellers cheques and a copy of the relevant Lonely Planet. No phones in those days if anything went wrong and I didn't give a thought to whether my parents would worry about me!

I do still travel though, but more cautiously and with much more planning. I don't have kids but am much more aware of the impact on other people (e.g. my aged widowed father) if something did happen to me.

I’m nearly 47. I don’t mind roughing it a bit and still enjoy camping.

But as a youngster I enjoyed flying and theme park rides- hate both now so yes, have got a lot more fearful with age.

Where did you emigrate to? I emigrated at 22 and at this point it feels much 'safer' to stay here! I know how things work here, been here basically all my adult life so it's home.

I grew up in the UK but don't really know about how to do adult life admin there. Some things are familiar of course but I was only a few years out of my teens when I left and I've never had a job there, never paid tax, never sorted insurance, never had a child at daycare or school... it's a foreign country for me in a lot of ways.

I'm 63 and still love flying and the whole airport experience.

I'm early 50s, through the menopause and desperate for the last kid to get off to uni so DH and i can finally get back to travelling and it not costing an arm and a leg. We are currently planning the mother of all interailing trips. Only thing that had changed for me is that I have more money so i don't have to rough it unless i want to. It's not inevitable. I'm worried i don't have enough time to pack everything in!

Nothing (except cost) to stop you travelling round Britain - it’s amazing what there is if you research. Beautiful scenery, buildings, historic sites, art galleries, gardens ……
I’ve been travelling by train lately -relaxing!

There's not much scarier than the UK right now, collapsing health system, random stabbings daily, awful food, bleak short term future.

I'd say you're still adventurous.

Wouldn't recommend Welsh caravans in the latter quarter of the year though, bloody freezing.

I'm 40 and have realised I have got like this. No partner or kids and life is just really small - no holidays abroad as no one to go with and don't want to go alone (friends have their own families, family members too elderly now). I realised I haven't been to London (opposite side of the country) since well before the pandemic. My last proper holiday was 2019 too and that year I did Orlando, a Canadian Road Trip and NYC. I wasn't alone though and think if I had a partner or husband and kids I'd still be more adventurous. I just get really anxious in a strange enivironment alone these days. I also don't go to concerts or gigs alone anymore...I used to but it's just not the same with no one to turn to and say wow,
eating alone in a food court, travelling there and back with no one to chat to.

When I was single in my 20s I did so much! I was really brave, wouldn't think twice about exploring a new city on a solo break, going to an arena gig alone etc. I look back and wonder where did that girl go?

Struggling now with job changes and starting new hobbies too. And dating. Just feel like I've lost my nerve and sense of adventure. Not sure if it is my age or the isolation I experienced during the pandemic which made me come out the other end "a little bit funny". It's like holed up at home is my default and I'm scared to get out my comfort zone. It's such a small life though :(

This too.

Me too, actually. I’m 52, and I’ve moved around the world a lot, but now committed to staying where I am until my 12 year old finishes school, and it’s making me feel slightly twitchy. Left to myself I like nothing more than a new culture, language, climate etc. Like @CharlotteRumpling, I say this not to sound all edgy and adventurous, just to say I don’t think ‘slowing down’ in middle age is ‘natural’ or ‘inevitable’. I’ve been offered a couple of opportunities in the last year or two (living as a caretaker on an otherwise uninhabited island, and tutoring on a film set in Mexico) that I’d love to have taken up, but there will be others.

But you feel what you feel, obviously, and you’re best placed to decide whether it’s something to go with, or whether it’s a phobia of flying.

Just to add that wanting a slower pace and comfort in routine can come from a positive direction, appreciating what you have, and enjoying it. So not necessarily a bad thing! And sometimes we go through life phases of needing
to rest and recharge and then stretch our wings a bit.

Something about estrogen being a protector against stress. As it dwindles in menopause many women see a rise in anxiety. I think it’s natures way of getting us to stay home and bake cakes

Op maybe toy just want a change. That ok. And when you have a child you start putting safety first. That’s also ok. It might come back to you later.

Maybe you’re just craving a breather? I moved around a lot in my 20s and at around 30 had a strong feeling like this – I felt like I just wanted to settle in a gentle part of the UK and stay there for good. The feeling passed after I’d had a chance to catch my breath, recoup & orient myself. I was just a bit burnt out!

Listen to what your instincts are telling you and nurture your need to feel cosy and settled for a while.

What makes you think it’s to do with age?

(46 isn’t even old at all!)

I’m the same age as you and don’t think I feel more fearful than in my youth particularly, but I have stopped flying as far as possible because of the climate impact. Love a night train across Europe though!

I also think you don’t have to travel to exotic places to have adventures and challenge yourself. Do you feel in general that lack of confidence puts you off trying new things nowadays?

OP, I'm 47, and lost all desire to explore and exert myself over the last two years...... I'd also lived in three different continents, was up for anything etc...

I went from that to dreaming of returning, and wanting nothing more but to sit on a balcony all day (ideally looking at the sea), or even just wrapping myself under a duvet. I'd been massively curious about seeing the world, and suddenly lost all the curiosity. Felt very 'been there, done that (even though there are plenty places I haven't explored yet). Things made me much more anxious too.

I'm a few months into hrt now, and a little of that energy has come back now. But not all. I think I, and many women, by this stage are bloody exhausted from holding up half the sky. I'm hoping I need a rest- then will come out of this stage and refind my sense of adventure. But for now, I'm trying to embrace a slower pace and give myself a break - not be too self-judgemental about my lack of energy and curiosity....

If I'm stuck like this until I die, it's going to be a very quiet few decades! But right now, I guess I seem to need some kind of re-nesting or hibernation. Hopefully there is another chapter, when I feel ready for adventures again, waiting at the other end!

I'm in my thirties, live a relatively adventurous life working and travelling around different countries and I also feel like this sometimes. Nostalgia, homesickness, grass is greener etc.

I also used to do extreme sports but now I don't even like to think about some of the risky things I used to do or near misses.

Having a kid has really accelerated it. Especially thinking about what she'll miss out on that I remember from my own childhood and that she has no roots where we live currently.

Menopause, I assume it is evolutionary to stop us leaving the family when we no longer have kids to look after (shows evolution hates us as for a long part of history we wouldn't make it to menopause)

It is up to you how you deal with it.

I felt the fear and pushed through. But it isn't wrong if you decide that a more stable way of life is what you want.