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Original poster

Friend should pay me back?

138 replies

sneezethemoment · 01/09/2024 19:27

There was a discounted spa deal for two people and so I paid and friend said she’d pay me back.

Then she got asked to go on holiday and said she couldn’t make it anymore, but she’d still pay and I should take someone else. I asked a different friend, we went, had a nice time.

Original friend came back from holiday and said she’s not paying me back and should get the money off the person who went.

OP posts:
Bellamari · 01/09/2024 20:05

Friend 1 agreed to go, then dropped you in, but said she’d still pay for her ticket and you could take someone else.

Friend 2 agreed to go because it was free, and probably wouldn’t have gone otherwise.

You can’t say to someone “I have a free ticket do you want to come with me?” and then afterwards ask them to pay!

OP you’ve learned a lesson about not booking things for other people unless they pay in advance. Friend 1 isn’t going to pay now, and Friend 2 certainly isn’t going to pay after you offered her a free ticket!

Guavafish1 · 01/09/2024 20:04

Ask the friend who went to pay

tattygrl · 01/09/2024 20:00

Mintgum · 01/09/2024 19:59

She refuse to pay because she didnt go.
Ask the friend that did go.
Sounds like your making a big deal out of nothing.
Why would she pay for someone else honestly just bonkers let it go.

Show quote history

She shouldn't have agreed to in the first place, then! The second friend might have only been able to go on the outing because it was free to her. It's unfair to renege on a prior agreement that then has plans made on the basis of.

Mintgum · 01/09/2024 19:59

sneezethemoment · 01/09/2024 19:56

So just to confirm … you commit to do something with a friend and say you’ll pay them back, you decide now you can’t go but you say to your friend I’m still going to pay what I owe you and please take someone in my place. You later on then refuse to pay. Ok ..

Show quote history

She refuse to pay because she didnt go.
Ask the friend that did go.
Sounds like your making a big deal out of nothing.
Why would she pay for someone else honestly just bonkers let it go.

Original poster
sneezethemoment · 01/09/2024 19:56

PoopedAndScooped · 01/09/2024 19:34

So you and your friend who went think it is reasonable that someone who didnt go pays?

The friend who went should of paid

So just to confirm … you commit to do something with a friend and say you’ll pay them back, you decide now you can’t go but you say to your friend I’m still going to pay what I owe you and please take someone in my place. You later on then refuse to pay. Ok ..

OP posts:
tattygrl · 01/09/2024 19:48

To me the issue is that the original friend is now going back on what the agreement was. Irrelevant what's more fair: she agreed, plans were made on the basis of that agreement, and now when it's come to the crunch she's announced she's not doing it and you need to ask the friend who came on the basis it was free for her.

I'd personally not get into a battle over the money. I'd note it and phase out the friendship. It's difficult for things to go good again after there's been sourness over money in my experience.

lazzapazza · 01/09/2024 19:44

If she said she would still pay and you were allowed to take somebody else then that's the deal.

She needs to pay up or you go no contact.

She cannot change the rules after you were given permission to take another person on a freebie.

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 01/09/2024 19:36

The friend you took should 100% pay. I don't understand why you are expecting the original friend to pay?
Surely she didn't mean to actually offer to pay for someone else? and if she did, why would you let her? isn't she your friend?

PoopedAndScooped · 01/09/2024 19:34

So you and your friend who went think it is reasonable that someone who didnt go pays?

The friend who went should of paid

updownand · 01/09/2024 19:31

Not much you can do as the friend has reneged twice - once not going and second stupidly saying she'd pay for someone else to go.

I'd give it up as she's not going to pay now and is comfortable saying one thing and doing another.

Has she form for this?

username44416 · 01/09/2024 19:30

If she said she'd pay, she should have paid. You'll have to forget her as she's not a friend.

pinkdelight · 01/09/2024 19:29

If she said she'd pay and ideally you have that in writing then remind her of that. The friend that went could contribute something, that'd be nice of her, but presume that friend filled the space as it was a freebie.

AlertCat · 01/09/2024 19:28

The first friend should have paid at the time. But the second friend could reasonably be asked to pay as she has enjoyed the treat.