Friend should pay me back?

@Mil3nnial because the issue is payment of a spa day, not payment of a holiday

Why are they a CF??

Friend 1 had TOLD the OP that they would still pay and to take someone else.

On that basis the OP might have taken someone who could not afford to pay and if they knew they needed to pay for it they wouldn't have been able to go.

If Friend 1 had said "I'm happy to pay UNLESS you find someone else to go" e.g. someone else pays then that's a different scenario, but it's NOT what @sneezethemoment said.

I’m not the poster but I assume it’s because the answers to most of those questions are outlined in the OP?

Then she got asked to go on holiday and said she couldn’t make it anymore, but she’d still pay and I should take someone else. I asked a different friend, we went, had a nice time.

So it’s pretty clear that friend 2 went on the basis of it being a free holiday after friend 1 assured Op, someone else could take her place and she’d still pay. She didn’t say she’d pay OR OP could take someone else. She said “and”.

And there’s no reason for friend 1 and 2 to split the costs, when friend 1 promised to pay and friend 2 accepted and went on that basis It’s obviously to late to ask for her a contribution now.

The other questions seem irrelevant, whether friend 2 can afford it or would have paid or not she already accepted on the understanding she wouldn’t be paying (based on what friend 1 said) so they can’t change the terms retrospectively.

Has she transferred the money yet?if she hasn’t you should say please do so by [insert date] I’d give her until Friday.

@sneezethemoment what makes you think @redtrain123 didn't understand your post?

The friend who went might not be a CF. If someone said to you "I have a spare ticket for this show. It's paid for by other friend who can't go. Would you like to come?" surely you'd assume it's paid for. They might not know other friend has not paid yet.

I have had a very similar situation with theatre tickets, although I'm very lucky that my friend does pay as soon as I've booked and told her how much hers cost.
She managed to double book herself and told me to find someone to go with. A mutual friend couldn't make it so I went with a neighbour who did offer to pay but I declined on the understanding that she would drive.
Another time DH made some plans for a long weekend which involved travelling on the day we had other theatre tickets for. I asked my friend to take someone else and made it clear that I wasn't expecting any money towards the ticket. She took our mutual friend who thoroughly enjoyed the performance but would definitely not have been able to go if she was expected to cover the cost.
We both work on the principle that if we mess up/ change plans then we want the other to be able to enjoy the performance without us.

OP didn't decide first friend should pay for a second friend. OP said first friend said she'd pay her back then told her she'd still pay but could not go so to take a second friend hence OP asked the second friend on the basis she would not have to pay because the first friend said she'd pay.

Friend made a promise to pay not once but twice& willingly agreed to pay alongside offering someone else to take their place. Regardless as to who went or didn’t, she’s not kept her side of the deal! I’d be really annoyed!

Ive had to pull out of gigs before, I tell friends to give my ticket to someone else who will get enjoyment from it, I don’t expect the money back. If someone didn’t fill the place it would be a waste of money!

How is she a CF? 🤭 the trip was offered to the second friend on the basis that she go free. She accepted. What’s the problem?

She did nothing wrong and nor did OP.

I’m not a flaky person but I’ve paid for things in advance that I’ve had to pull out of and I’ve been happy to go ahead and pay for my agreed share, irrespective of whether the person is going to find someone to fill my space or not. If someone does want reimbursement they have to open their mouth
and say that BEFORE the other person finds a replacement and attends said event.

You can’t just say one thing and then do a 180. Completely unacceptable.

I can’t believe that the friend who went didn’t pay! What a CF. Is this a reverse?

I’ve had the exact same situation @Ohcrap082024 I had theatre tickets for an event in east London , somehow got locked in my bedroom in south London - faulty door don’t even ask - and my flatmate was out.

I wasn’t able to get out for hours, so I told my two friends who were going to find a third person to go for free. It was a no-brainer for me.

If I had wanted reimbursed for it I’d have to have said that in advance - and also faced the likelihood that no-one would buy it so it would go to waste completely!

Not at all, a key stage 1 SAT exam is more complicated than your OP and even then a 7 year old who didn't know the answer would just make a random guess between the options available rather than invent a holiday that didn't happen and a third friend who didn't exist.....

I’m with you @sneezethemoment

Last year, I had theatre tickets booked with a group of friends. I had to pull out on the day due to illness. Very unlike me to do so.

Luckily, one of my friends was able to invite a friend of hers along in my place. She checked with me before asking and I was happy that the ticket wasn’t going to waste. I had already paid the ticket and would never have asked nor accepted any money for the ticket.

Your first friend agreed to go, changed her mind and assured you that she would still pay. If she couldn’t actually pay, she should have asked you at the time to sell her half of the day. 2nd friend went along as it was a freebie. I would give 1st friend a wide berth from now on.

Where are you getting that from? OP said: "she got asked to go on holiday and said she couldn’t make it anymore, but she’d still pay and I should take someone else" and she's repeatedly clarified that first friend said she'd pay, not that OP decided it.

But the point is it wasn't a freebie. Only a freebie because op decided that the first friend would pay for the second friend to have a free spa day. Not on IMHO.

Original friend should have said “if you can get someone else to go see if they can cover the costs, if not I will pay”

Original plan was to go with friend.
OP might not want to go alone.
Original friend had committed to pay, and should not back out.
Had OP managed to recoup all or any if original friend’s costs, that would have been a bonus for OF.

OP: yes, she should pay.

Person 1 should have paid at the time however I wouldn’t have offered it free to person 2, I would have given them at a reduced price to get some money back for it, rather than it going to waste.

as a friend I also wouldn’t have pulled out of paying in the first place but I also wouldn’t have accepted it for free as friend number 2 did.

It just seems really odd for friend A to say "I will pay for a friend to take my place" and more logical for friend A to say, " look I will pay my place so you're not out of pocket, try and get someone else" meaning if you get something else then they can pay you back.
OP obviously thought Friend A was going to pay her back regardless, but unless friend A is completely loaded it just sounds completely very unusual and seems a misunderstanding.

The 2nd friend may have gone on the basis that it was a freebie, if so you can't ask her to pay now.
Friend 1 should pay really if that was the agreement

There are some weird takes on this and it's really simple.

Friend 1 said SHE WOULD PAY and to take someone else in her place. Because she said this -

Friend 2 was offered a free spa trip, asking friend 2 to now pay because friend 1 is being a twat and trying to go back on what she said would be ridiculous.

Whether you get the money back or not OP, time to ditch this 'friend'.

Your right op. Friend 1 needs to pay as it was booked with her. It would be unfair to ask friend 2 when this was offered as a free space. If she doesn't pay I'd be wary of the friendship going forward

Good update OP, I hope she follows through. She needs to learn not to give false assurances and also be less flaky.

A friend of mine booked a weekend trip with her boyfriend at the time. I don’t know who paid for what but by the time the trip came around they’d split up and she asked me instead. I offered to pay and she turned it down and said I could come for free.

Had she turned around later and said I had to pay and why did I think I could have a free trip etc, I’d have been annoyed because she’d have reneged on her earlier promise.

Different situation but the point is you don’t go back on your agreement. It’s that simple.

I'm assuming the substitute friend went as it was going free as OPs friend said she would pay. To me that's the difference. The alternative would have been OP go and friend would lose her money? It's actually quite rude of the friend. I wouldn't said can you see if someone else can go in my place, but if not I'll pay for it. Unless she's a great friend, I'd actually phase her out or at least never pay for anything again.