Friend should pay me back?

this post is bizarre!

Surely the reason people post on AIBU is to see if someone posts an alternative POV that might change their mind, or at least help them understand the other person's view better. I've been on several threads where my initial opinion has, if not changed, at least been given pause for thought by the explanations of other posters.

The fact that nobody has done that in this case (which fair enough given half the people who thought she was BU don't seem to understand the scenario and the rest still haven't actually given any coherent rationale as to why Friend 1 isn't responsible for paying for something she specifically agreed (twice) to pay for) doesn't mean OP shouldn't have bothered posting at all!

No but she must meant free spa trip presumably

it's not that leftfield

and incidentally I haven't gone against the OP - I agree the first friend should pay but some of OP's posts are odd!

The friend who let OP down said she would pay, presumably for the inconvenience and to apologise for letting op down.

Now she has changed her mind. That's unreasonable, no?

This thread is bizarre.

OP seems very clear on what she thinks is right. Doesn't appear to think for a second that she is being unreasonable, and yet for some reason decided to ask a bunch of strangers if she is being unreasonable, then got angry at the ones that said she is.

OP, if you are confident you are right then just go with that and do what you want to do. What is the point of being here? Do you understand the purpose of AIBU?

Generally, if you’ve made plans with somebody, planned to pay your way/pay for your ticket, and then make other plans last minute with other people, you’ve dumped your mate in it and should still pay regardless. Because firstly, backing out of a plan for no good reason other than you found a better offer is a shit thing to do and says quite a bit about you as a friend, and secondly you’ve left your mate on their own, stuck with a bill and/or the prospect of having to find someone else short notice. All pretty rubbish things to do to a friend. So IMO the decent thing to do is to still pay for your place and then whether your friend gets to go or not/manages to get someone else onboard, that person is not at a loss.
This is just common courtesy really and I would say it kinda goes without saying among friends but you blame OP - who did nothing wrong, paid her way, didn’t back out, had to do all the scrabbling around to rearrange plans and find someone else to go etc - why shouldn’t she be made whole irrespective of who else may or may not go?

Not that hard to understand

Yes I get it

The friend said she'd pay for it and for OP to take someone. Otherwise she should have said, can you see if someone else will buy the ticket and if you can't then I'll pay for it. Two very different things. Not that hard to understand

I agree with you OP. She said she'd do it, so she should do it AND she told you to take someone else. It doesn't get much simpler than that @Tandora is being a CF

what other side?

This says it all really. Clearly you have difficulties with perspective taking and therefore I imagine this won’t be the last time you have difficulties in your friendships.

You may think that there’s only one way to look at this situation, but 2 in 5 people who have responded to this thread voted YABU. That’s worth trying to understand.

Friend 1 should have paid because it was agreed but theirs not much you can do now about it unfortunately

If I was the replacement friend I'd most likely offer to pay, to help out the first friend whose plans changed or even to help OP who's been stitched up by first friend. But that changes if replacement friend was offered the spot as a freebie, and wouldn't have chosen to go at full price.
First friend is being a CF. She had the option to find someone to buy the spot from her. Lesson learned, now you know to get money upfront before booking anything for her, and personally this would make me take a step back from the friendship.

Morally the friend who was originally going should pay, in the basis that she said she'd pay, regardless of whether she went.

Logically, the friend that did go should pay.

If the original person didn't want to pay, she shouldn't have offered to do so.

I think the problem here is you are really failing to see the other side.

yes it was thoughtless of her to cancel at the last minute after you had bought her a ticket. She felt bad so said “I’ll pay you back- take someone else”. That was the right thing to say. If you hadn’t been able to fill her spot , then she should absolutely pay you back rather than leaving you out of pocket, but since you were able to replace her, the replacement should have paid. Theres no reason for her to pay for a day out for you and your friend - she just didn’t want to leave you in a tough spot hence the offer . You took advantage of the situation by expecting her to pay even though you found someone else to go with. Politeness and consideration goes two ways. If I were your friend I wouldn’t have said anything and would have paid you back anyway because I said I would, but I would have thought it was cheeky tbh. (Unless there’s a reason why friend who went really couldn’t afford to pay and there was no one else?)

She was trying to be thoughtful/ polite - you took advantage.

But you should have realised it was massively unfair to expect her to do that?!
Fair enough if you couldn’t fill the spot, but why the hell should she pay for another of your friends to go free? If you wanted to offer your friend a freebie you should have paid for it yourself!

What holiday? 🙈

@sneezethemoment your friend sounds mean. I presume friend 2 only went because it was free.

If she said she would pay then morally she should, but id feel abit of a arse asking her to cough up if somebody else enjoyed the place.

Can the person who went afford to pay?

She must of felt bad at letting you down and said she would pay in the heat of the moment.

I suppose it comes down to is it work staining a friendship over.

I think as she said it she should stand by it but that you should have got the money off her first.

You didn't and someone else went so I can see why she would be reluctant now if you weren't alone and someone went in her place.

Bit different if substitute friend can't afford it but if she can, I think she should pay as she enjoyed the day. I wouldn't actually expect a friends friend to sub me just because she had said something a bit stupid to someone else.

@sneezethemoment some are being deliberately obtuse.

YANBU, she promised to pay even although she couldn't attend.

People on here just love going against the OP, sad little lives.