Who are these mums???? (Jokes but slightly serious)

I have a life similar to the one you describe. I even got Oasis tickets, though I don't think my lad would appreciate me styling his hair into an updo!

I baked once when he was little and it just wasn't worth it!

Before he was born though, I paid circa 50k to have him, I had 6 miscarriages, some people had 3 children before I'd even conceived my first. The struggle was horrific and my nice hair, holidays and well paying job didn't make it any easier.

I have and have had since about 12 an eating disorder, I can lay awake at night worrying about if I've had too many calories, if I might put a pound on when I have my daily weigh-in in the morning. I don't advertise that to people like you who may be looking into my life!

I stayed in the town I was born into, so did my husband, this has meant that we have family to hand whenever we want it, it means that our house is in an area where property isn't Uber expensive and so we could pay our mortgage off early a a long is now, at 40, to have a good standard of living.

I don't fake anything, if I'm having a shit time of it, I'll tell people and if I'm not then good for me but then I don't need to post my happiness on socials for people to look at!

Like all of us, we work hard to get on in life, however that life pans out. To look in on someone else's life though will never tell the full story! It doesn't tell you of past heartbreaks, past trauma or what might come in the future.

You’ve said your partner is as useful as a chocolate fireguard. The question is why did you decide to start a family with someone that incompetent and useless?

the reason you struggle is because you’re basically in single mother with one extra (man)child.

I should have made it one post haha.

but it’s true influencers is just fake, well turned out perfect real people have lots of hands on help either husbands/family or paid for help so it’s easier.

If I could outsource all my cleaning and washing and such I sooo would 🤣 love take away too much for a hello fresh ad though.

Lots of money and / or family support, plus lots & lots of curating content, that's how they're doing it.

Have you been watching Ballerina Farm by any chance?

I feel bad for interrupting your flow now 😂

My sister is one of “those” mums.
How did she do it?
Me & our mum.
She used us for babysitting & free groceries for years.
No husband until her child was 8.
Everybody thought she was “Wonder Mum,” but her child was either with Mum or me 80% of the time — and the two of us provided her with food through those years as well.
She faked it — and her child is now almost 50 and she still hasn’t acknowledged the truth or bothered to even say thank you in private.
I imagine this is true for a great many “wonder mums.”

Are they younger? I was this mum with my first 2, lots of compliments on how glam I looked, how do I get me and the children out so early in the morning looking great, house was clean most of the time.
I had number 3 12 years later and am nothing like this now, never wear make up, can't remember last time I styled my hair, no nights out because it would take weeks to recover, house always a state (2 teens contribute to that though).

My husband is very much an equal partner, he
Is a very involved parent, and does more housework than me (because of the way our working hours are, he's at home child free more than I am) this is the biggest thing. Honestly though, I wouldn't have had it any other way, if he wasn't pulling his weight I would be having words, as should he if I wasn't, we are a team and that makes both of our lives easier.

Agree with others, my mum lives 15 mins away and helps us out with childcare, which is a huge help.

You posted just as I did my next one on real people vs influencers 😅

Real people who are well turned out just have lots of help.

This sounds so bitter. Not everyone on Instagram is fake and some people do actually have their lives together.

It’s mega harsh but it’s also 100% the truth.

Influencers are fake. They take 100 photos to get 1. The children have to sit for bloody ages often more for the snap than the joy.

They will change outfits multiple times in one day to get photos for future posts. So they might be at a lovely sunny beach once in a month but took enough photos to look like they go every weekend.

Empty houses are easy to clean, grey houses are easy to style as there is no colour to clash. Fake grass and concrete can look lovely and it’s almost zero maintenance.

Buy in hello fresh easy dinners that’s all portion controlled to help stay fit and thin.

I live in an area where alot of people are like this, and to the outside world my friends and I look like we do too (sometimes). In my area, most people are on an income which means they can outsource all of the things that bring them down. Cleaning/gardening/food shop, homework and everything in between. If they have had a bad day and can't be bothered to cook they eat out. If their child struggles with something, they out source whatever support they need. Money doesn't make you happier but many of them sure as hell have life easier than people who are less well off.

We have never had any help in terms of either financial help or childcare. We have similar income to our well off neighbours and friends, yet our life styles are different. We will never be as comfortable, and our lives will never be as stress free.

Focus on sorting out your useless partner or better still get rid, and stop worrying about strangers.

Lol. Don't worry I didn't see it. But thanks 😊

Yep. The answer is help. I get a night a week off thanks to my mum. Usually tla good chunk of the next day aswell to get jobs done etc.

They are creating a persona. We all do it to a certain extent. Very few publicise our rubbish days. It's like filtering through your photos and only picking the best ones. Everyone has something going on beneath the surface and no-one is perfect.

This was me with my first few children. People would ask how I did it. Truth? I hated my life, was suicidal, hated my husband (despite it seeming perfect on insta) it was soooo fake and sad.

I'm now a decade on. I look like a swamp witch now! But I'm happy and healthy and loved.

The more people try to convince you, the less likely it probably is.

Family support! They have a grandparent (possibly two grandparents) and maybe an aunty or two who give them regular nights off and even whole weekends sometimes. Or maybe they’re separated and have a new partner, so they get to hand their kids over for huge chunks of time and enjoy being with their new partner. Or there are a few people who get this level of support from having huge amounts of money to spend on nannies.

Childfree time makes a massive difference to your health and wellbeing, and to your ability to eat healthy and exercise, and to your relationship.

We’ve often joked that we should get divorced so we could take turns parenting and have a break to go out with our new partners. Because as long as we’re together we never have anyone to hand the kids off to, which means we never get any time together. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had even just an hour alone with my husband!

It’s a bit silly to assume everyone is faking it.

Yes, no one’s life is perfect 100% of the time, but some of us really do have wonderful family lives that we are grateful for every single day.

I chose my husband based on values and the kind of life I wanted in the future- SAHM, loyal, kind, hands on, financial secure, no divorce etc.

DH is a computer nerd which has led to us being very wealthy. We employ my MIL so have lots of help.

What you didn’t see was the 3 miscarriages before I had my children, which is why I’m so incredibly grateful for the life I now have.

I don't have an Instagram so don't post my life but I have a full time professional job, holidays, my house isn't a tip, I don't have a cleaner, DS is well turned out and I don't look like I've been dragged through a hedge. We are out and about most weekends and have time for various activities during the week at home or otherwise.
There are two aspects, if you want that life you have to be very very organised and work hard at all aspects, you also need a partner who isn't a lazy reckless arsehole.

Also people don’t tend to post about that time they had a hangover and then their kid threw up in their hair while the other one smeared poop all over the bathroom and hubby decided to go for a bike ride anyway.

I'm maybe not 100% one of those mum's but I am a small bit.

I was able to go out (and actually go abroad for 4 nights with just husband) from babies being very young (4 months) because I have loads of family support and formula fed. Husband is helpful so I am able to put make up on, dress nice. But we are now struggling to make ends meet, we both work hard but cost of living + nursery fees - it's tough out there!

I never post photos on SM, don’t really use it.