DP has a DD who is 22 and resides between her mums and our home. Didn't want to carry on with uni and works 7 hours a week. She's looking to maybe start a college course but is unsure if it's what she wants to do.
Let me say we have a pleasant relationship and we get on fairly well. However, she stays with us a couple of times a week and helps herself to whatever she fancies but will also by stuff for herself we are not allowed to use. She doesn't contribute towards the home or really clean up after herself. This point causes huge problems in her mums house, hence why she stays with us.
I have a DD aged 9 from my marriage. DD is pretty responsible, not particularly a handful or difficult child. Can occupy herself and never has any issues with bedtime etc. Now she is older, I have enrolled onto a part time degree and was looking to book a babysitter one evening a week to watch my DD, in order for me to attend my university class. I found and vetted a highly recommended sitter and agreed to £10 p/h three and a bit hours a week.
Prior to me looking for a babysitter, there was no offer of help from partners DD, even though she'll probably be in ours using everything and leaving a mess behind her (that usually I end up seeing to), nor did my partner offer to take time out of his schedule to help. Probably would if I asked but he didn't offer, hence me going ahead with other arrangements. DP is now pushing me to ask his DD to babysit and pay her the £10 p/h to watch my DD, despite the fact there's a good chance she'll already be there using everything anyway. I have refused, as the babysitter is skilled and looks after children in her day job however, I'm really being pressured as he keep saying "why wouldn't you help xyz out she could use that money!" Am I being unfair? Should I pay her to do it instead, or should I stick to my guns and refuse to pay someone who I spend time and money on cleaning up after and feeding every week already?