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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is more than enough for a single parent?

27 replies

CrinkleToes · 01/09/2024 15:33

I am posting as I really don’t know if I am being unkind to my sibling or whether my feelings are warranted.

She is a single parents to one dc. Her take home salary is just under 4K. Her ex pays for nursery and also gives her 400 a month for other expenses.

She is constantly asking my mum for money to top up her income. I am fortunate that I have dh and lots of practical support from his family too which means I don’t need to use nursery. We also have one dd who is 3. I have chosen to be a stay at home mum and do recognise that my sister does not have this option.

My mum is very stressed about being asked for money every month and has confided in me that although she has the money it is basically eating into inheritance bit by bit as she is now retired. I do not get any hand outs from her and never do.

I feel conflicted as on the one hand I know it must be bloody hard work as a single parent but equally I can’t understand how she needs top ups on that income? It basically means she is getting inheritance early. Am I being a dick? Would you let this go? I haven’t told DH as I know he would say it is totally unfair on me and of course I know he would be biased anyway.

OP posts:
Spatchula · 01/09/2024 15:35

She shouldn't be struggling on that income. Perhaps have a quiet word with her over a drink and ask her if she's struggling, and could you help out in anyway to fix it. Be clear the offer isn't financial help but practical help on how to clear debt

CrinkleToes · 01/09/2024 15:34

Those wondering how I know her income… she shared it all with us when she separated from ex as she was at rock bottom and terrified. She has actually been promoted since then so could be on even more now!

OP posts: