Would you go nc with your parents for this

I think the other thread is pretty similar in this case though

If anything people have been more harsh about the 24 year old than about the OP. A lot of commentary about how he is weird and abnormal

MN can be such a funny place with how a thread will go one way and then a similar thread 2 days later will go the other.
I think that people start off with a certain perspective on the first thread, then become more informed by the next thread - that's just my opinion though.

You're not a child, you’re their adult daughter and us parents love our DS and DD ‘s but also like time alone and this sometimes means quietness at home doing boring shit as much as possible!

What does “go nc” mean…?!?

@giantcolouringbook

This OP! ⬆️ Do you think that’s fair on his parents?

Can you imagine if everyone went no contact with anyone that said something they didn't like? 😜

Most of comments are he needs to move out.
Did you see where he had interrupted a date night meal repeatedly?

Op I get it, I don't have great parents either, I think most people find it hard to empathise because they have great relationships with their's. But there's nothing more hurtful than feeling unloved and unwanted by the people who should love you unconditionally. I think so move out and go LC/NC as the longer you let it go on, the more damage is done to your own mental health. Do things on your terms.

Your parents had you late in life and haven't prepared themselves for having a 20 something in their home, while retired. I think they are pretty selfish and very controlling by the way they have treated you.

Selfish and controlling because they said she should do something with her extra day off instead of hanging around the house? Don't be ridiculous. You also don't know that they had her late in life. Her parents could have taken early retirement.

Selfish parents full-stop. Being a parent doesn't entitle you to be a parent for the rest of your child's life if you aren't prepared to sacrifice anything for your child. Being a parent is a privilege - I don't feel your parents should have that privilege, after treating you like that. I'm speaking as someone who was mentally abused by her parents and eventually stood up to them. I am therefore able to empathise with you. I don't think most commentators in here understand the severity of how your parents treated you.

You have no evidence that they haven't sacrificed anything to be parents. How exactly have they treated her? Again, suggested she should do something other than hang around the house. What exactly is so severe about that? That is the ONLY thing you have to go on here. No evidence of mental abuse. You are projecting your upbringing onto them.

Move out and then decide whether you want to walk away, or not. You could also keep them at arms length. I certainly would not be supporting them. Just advise them because they feel you are such a nuisance to have around, that you will also stay out of their way when they are no longer able to look after themselves and need to be put in a care home.

Hopefully if OP tells them this, they will decide to leave everything to charity. That would be a despicable thing to say to parents who have tolerated their young adult child staying at home, failing to launch and allow them their space back.

Do you pull your weight at home? Put a regular load of washing on (that includes everyone’s of the same washing type), get washing in without being asked, run the vacuum around, ie behaving like an adult?

it could well be your version of relaxing is similar to staying in a serviced apartment and M & D, as much as they love you, want it to stop or change and they are not seeing this from you….?

Slightly different take. Their reaction suggests they aren't finding it all wonderful having you living at home, and perhaps quite like having the house to themselves when you're at work. They're entitled to feel like that - it's their house after all and you're an adult.
Maybe you're a bit of a pain when you're hanging around the house! Lounging on the sofa, leaving washing up in the kitchen, playing your music loudly... (I'm describing my adult daughter here 😀)
Don't be so silly as to go NC over this. Have an adult conversation with them as to why they reacted the way they did, and take what they say on board.

You Dad is allowed to sit around all day because he's worked his whole life, provided for you and is now retired.

You're 23. You're just starting out.

They are probably worried about your work ethic. They may not understand.

And also, they may wish to have the house to themselves a bit more. To some extent, they've done their time with you, they were once a couple before you arrived, perhaps they just want a bit of time to be by themselves. It's been 23 years now.

it's not that they don't love you, but we all need time and space.

Not having had children, you couldn't begin to understand the impact that having a child has on a relationship. Many parents split in the first year of a child's life and you're one of the lucky ones because over 50% of marriages end in divorce.

Just give them some space. And yes, they'd probably like to think at some point, you're going to move out and get a place of your own so they can finally have that feeling of complete freedom.

I love my children very very much and I don't want them to ever move out but I also know in my heart that they need to find their own way and become independent, fully independent of me, too. And yes, it is nice to feel that you've got them sorted, in a relationship, settled with a place to live, maybe a family of their own...working a job that fulfils them hopefully.

Remember they do care, I'm sure they do but they are parents and they just worry about all the things I've listed.

no not when she lives with her parents who are retired. She feels entitled to do what she wants in their house. Great for the parents to have someone lounge around for 3 days instead of 2 without even discussing. The young people of today are full of entitlement.

Not if it impacts negatively on other people.

And she keeps suggesting they do family things together akd refers to herself as a child.

This isn't about parents who are desperate to get rid of an 18 year old as some posters seem to think.

The devil is in the detail.

But she isn't 18, she's 23.

You're 23 and living at home and your parents prefer you being out all week and not seeing you for an extra day. I wonder why?
This is like the opposite of the empty nester post recently where the mum was 'grieving' their child going to uni and the thought of them moving out and not seeing them as much.

@Petlover9

🤷‍♀️ it’s got to happen sometime! We all have to grow up and take responsibility for ourselves eventually.

Is this a joke?

Sorry LARDER not leader!

When you move out there will rent/mortgage.
Council Tax, water, gas/electricity, insurance, phone/bb plus everything in the leader will be down to you.....just saying

What age do you plan to move into your own home Op? If it’s a case of another few months maybe share with parents and see if you can stay a bit longer.

There’s another thread today with a mum with a 24 yr old lad at home 4 days at a stretch and finding it suffocating. Maybe look at that to see from other side.

Not sure what drinking has to do with going out in evening. Don’t you have hobbies or see friends. Volunteering?
Your update sounds as though you are much younger than 23.