Would you go nc with your parents for this

@cornflakecrunchie

yep, when you have kids you have to look after them as if they were 10 years old forever and ever. They can be 80 and you 100 and you still need to put them first and take care of them. Having time as a couple for you and your husband- no chance! Those days are gone when you become a mum. That’s just what you sign up for as a parent right?

Looks like poor OP has got fed up of being blamed.
Sheesh. I don't know why some people have kids, if they want them out of the way at that tender age. Mine are in their 30's & still happily at home.

Do you pay them rent?
do you help around the house etc
sounds like they are fed up
if you are pulling your weight and not taking the p.ss , then it’s extreme , but surely you need to simply have a conversation with them !

1. you are their child but you're not a child anymore, you are an adult still living at home
2. their house, their choice and if they like a quiet weekday you need to respect it
3. start saving to move out and then when you meet it will be in mutual terms and you can enjoy each others company
4. don't consider going NC, consider why they might be finding it hard living with another adult

Your parents are allowed to want their own space. Do you have a firm plan to move out- not just a ‘well of course I’d like to and will one day’, but an idea of what properties cost around you and a saving plan? You say you pay your way- do you honestly know how much it costs to run a household, and think you pay a fair proportion of that? Maybe they think you should be picking up extra work on that fifth day to speed up the saving process? (And yeah it’s annoying when other adults’ have an opinion on how you spend your time- but while you’re living with them it’s fair game- once you move out you can ignore these opinions!).

A poster upthread says it's OP's home as much as her parents'.

Actually it isn't, at least not in a legal sense - morally might be different.

Parents aren't legally obliged provide their offspring with a home at 23 years of age, so they could legally remove her from their home whereas she couldn't remove them.

What ‘support’ are you expecting?

They are supporting you by allowing you to still live in their home as an adult.

You want to spend your extra day off hanging around at home, with them.

You say you don’t go out so you’re always there when not at work.

This sounds like the first time they’ve expressed any negativity that makes you feel unwelcome.

My DD and her husband lived with us for a long time. I love them both dearly but it is a different dynamic with 4 adults living under the same roof. Would I let them move back if their circumstances needed it? Of course I would but I’d much prefer not having to.

DH and I went through a phase of trying to watch an old classic film every Friday night. We’d get our dinner and settle down to watch it. DD would come home from work and want to discuss all her work worries the second she got through the door. So we’d pause the film and listen, chat it through with her, then when she’d run out of steam we’d press play, then she’d start again, so we’d pause it. Eventually she’d get up and go and make her dinner. So there would be cooking noises and smells in the background. Her now DH works shifts. He’d come home very late and as much as he’d try to be quiet and respectful I’m a light sleeper especially if I know someone is not home. He’d also sometimes cook something when he got in so they’d be cooking smells at midnight.

None of this would make me not offer them a place in my home if needed. But it’s much calmer now it’s just the 2 of us and when they visit or FaceTime we are very happy to have them and give them our full attention.

Its not that your parents don’t want you, it’s that they are starting to enjoy their own space and the thought of losing another day of that was concerning for them. you however are acting like a stroppy teenager who would cut them off for continuing offering you a space in their home but panicking a bit when they realised they’re losing another day of peace.

I wouldn't go no contact for this per se however....
I am no contact with my father who was physically and emotionally abusive and a control freak. As a teen/young adult I wasn't aloud out and if I was it was the 2 courses at sixth form in the day, the evening courses and ofc the two waitressing jobs he had arranged for me with any free evenings /weekends. I was drowning. We wasn't aloud to have down time. So if there's more to it absolutely.

I would look for somewhere else to live if you can but if it's just this I wouldn't go no contact.

this Is such a lovely, well thought out, response to OP.

Well they have looked forward to retirement and having the house to themselves. Now they have the house for a day less to themselves. Sounds like you’ve overstated your welcome.

Good point 😂

Well your parents don't dislike you too much as they're still letting you live with them, although you sound a bit whiny tbh. Are you contributing fully to the costs of the home and the housework? Maybe your dad likes to sit around the house in his underwear. Maybe you tut disapprovingly at his viewing habits. Maybe they are worried that you don't have many friends or hobbies and an independent life.

What is your relationship like with your mum day to day, and with your dad - do you feel like you're in the way or do you feel just the same as you always have - albeit your age has obviously changed as has theirs.

I can remember being 21 and leaving home - I got fed up of being told what to do & when to do it by my mum so off I went. Never thought anything of it. However years later now I'm the mum & DD is heading for 20 I'll be really sad when she leaves home, she drives us nuts sometimes but this is her home and we all regularly adjust to each other - I would never want her to feel how I did - like she was an inconvenience and should do as she's told - she's a young adult finding her feet and no reaching 18 doesn't mean you're on your own - it's far too young in today's society.

What the heck?! No, I definitely wouldn't go non contact for this, not unless there's a whole history of bad treatment. But not for this alone. Grow up!

Yes. Move out immediately and cut them off forever and dance on their graves when they die.

I think I know what your parents do while you're out at work. Bloody good for them.

I love my DC very much but I have to say I like having some peace when they are at school. Now that DS is in 6th year he's at home a lot more and he's bugging me. 😂

Your parents reaction was a bit OTT but cutting them off for it? Grow up.

OP are you really this hard headed?

Who cares your gender, it’s time to move out (at least 2 years ago)

You are in some kind of reverse development now, it’s doing you absolutely no good. Your posts reinforce that.

Your DP have been extremely tolerant but you are honestly putting the fear of god into some on here with young DC.

I think the PP who mentioned 16 year olds is doing most of them a disservice as IME most are more independent and mature.

My uncle and aunt apparently enjoy naked cocktail hour now their kids are grown and out the house. Perhaps your parents are similar!

Yes the other thread is same as this one except a very few comments. It’s interesting this Op has only picked up on those. The son in the other thread sounds like he may be neurodiverse.

OP, I think this is an incredibly hurtful thing to go through. You're right many parents, including myself, would be more than happy to have their adult kids at home. It's your home too and you have just as much right to be there as they do. It's not as easy for young people to live independently as it used to be. I hope you are able to move out soon as it sounds like a difficult situation to be in.
I imagine your thoughts of cutting them off stem from feeling so hurt by their behaviour. Unless there are other issues I would be slow to cut off a parent, it is a huge thing to do and many (even very hurtful) disagreements can be resolved over time.
Do you have anyone you can talk to in real life - a friend, relative or counsellor?
Wishing you all the best 🫂💜

Oh ok, I didn't read that one admittedly.

Going no contact.

Typically adult children go no contact with parents due to abuse - whether physical or emotional.