Would you go nc with your parents for this

even if she pays she is at best a lodger and they can ABSOLUTELY have rule in their house about what happens in it.

Cringe

I don't how anyone can be this narcissistic and not see it. I have the solution though, you take OP in and be her new adoptive mam and she can mooch off you forever. See if you get pissed off with her under your feet and demanding your attention all the time.

Don't expect comment decency back though when you ask for well deserved space relationship only exist when you can milk the other side dry.

Wow! Your post blows my mind. If you are 23 and working get your own place! Your parents have a right to expect time to themselves when their kids grow up--trouble is, you haven't grown up. Your level of entitlement is crazy. Give your parents a break and move out.

Is this a joke? How can you go non-contact with them if you live with them?! Do you pay rent and contribute towards food/housework etc?

They've given her a roof over her head her entire life? You mean like they're legally obligated to do because they're parents and they decided to have kids?

Wow. Listen to yourself. Go and fill in your giant colouring book...

You work full time, it's nothing to do with them.
what you do with your free time as an adult is your own affair.
Discuss this and if they still think they have a right to tell you what to do with your time, I'd strongly consider moving out.
This answer assumes you pay your way though-many parents think to have a say in the lives of their children because they subsidise their rent/food/utilities etc, if this is the case then that is rather different, and negotiations will need to be far more delicate.

I can see you feel unloved and unwanted by your parents, and I can understand that. My mother (who had always made it clear that I was an accident and a mistake) died when I was 15, so it was just my dad and I then. He tried his best but wasn't the most present father. He too made it clear that I needed to move out as soon as possible, once I was old enough. On the day I moved out, I left him a bottle of champagne to celebrate with! But even through all that, I never even considered for a second going no contact with him! That is an over reaction in the extreme! And one that you would surely come to regret in the future. Yes, their reaction to your new working hours is not normal, and they are out of order, but so is your overreaction. Take a deep breath, count to 100, start looking for your own place and then leave on civil terms. Please don't burn your bridges over something so trivial.

You're 23 for God's sake! Your parents aren't obliged to give you a home at all at that age. If they appreciate the space your being at work gives them in their own home, that's their right. They've given you a roof over your head you're entire life and now your considering cutting them out of your life over this? Really? I imagine you're quite a difficult person to live with, certainly selfish and ungrateful, and they'd probably be happy for you to move out.

People can go NC with parents for any reason they like. Plenty have on here and seem to be doing just fine. 23 years is nothing these days when it comes to still living at home-most loving parents are facilitating that. If they don't want to then like I said, no loss for either side. How is it manipulation when everyone's saying she should move out anyway-it's more like "ok you consider your parenting done, and I'm an adult so should stand on my own two feet and never ask you for help so take care and have a nice life" what else is there to say? Is she supposed to be guilted into spending time with them (but never at their house ofc) because newsflash, parents aren't friends. I'm not quite sure what parents expect of their adult kids.

I am a parent of a 20 year old and I think from our point of view , my husband and I used to use the time when she was at work for romantic purposes , I know gross and too much info but it could just be simply that.
Like they get the house to themselves and then they don't.
I do think they should have said it in a nice way .
Do you help in the house ? Cooking / cleaning etc .

Toxic manipulation... OPs parents have gone above, beyond and sacrificed for 23 fucking years and still are.

How dare they have the audacity to suggest she should ASK about using the shared space (that they KINDLY allow her to use) on what is established as their time but hey if you can't mooch FOREVER then don't forget to jump straight to the threat of the 'care home'... that'll teach them.

It'll teach OP more when that lovely home/inheritance money she needs to buy herself that cushy home she wants (that is so clearly the only thing she cares about/wants/feels entitled too) doesn't go to her and she has to keep grifting forever to rent or find herself someone new to mooch off (obviously hard since shes too lazy to leave the house and socialize ever).

I dont get the impression it is that with the parents but I take your point.

I do think they all need to stop huffing and puffing and sit down and have sensible conversations about each other's needs and come to some compromises

@Madamum18 i guess it does depend on if it is a case of the parents literally wanting to spend absolutely no time at all with OP in which case she might rightly feel unloved or cared about.

NC is very extreme but maybe LC and leave the contact up to the parents to see just how much contact they want on their end.

Exactly! Going no contact over his is beyond belief

Helping adult kids out does not need to equal spending 3 days a week entertaining them. My God. She has not been kicked out, she has not been forced into working all hours, she has not been disowned. Going NC rather than finding a hobby to fill a day is just cutting her nose off to spite her face.

In what way would she regret it if she had her own place? If parents are not prepared to help out their kids once they're adults then it's no loss. They are not friends an adult son/daughter chooses to spend their time with (especially if they don't want OP around either!). Her parents will end up regretting it more like when she's not in any rush to come back and care for them when they're old.

This. My mother is utterly toxic and has said horrific things to me in the past. You need to move out and grow up.

How did we jump from your father not wanting you hanging round the house during the day in the working week, to you saying you are not welcome in the evenings and shouldn’t have to go out wandering the streets?

You have over reacted (go no contact over something like this!🙄). They have over reacted ( furious and laying down the law (🙄)..

For goodness just sit down and discuss each others needs like adults (instead of like kids in a playground) and all be willing to compromise. And think about moving out to give you and them space as and when you can!!

Hi op,

they were maybe a little insensitive but now you know. Move out:)
Come and visit and let them rest. Don’t go nc, it is wild as reaction even if I understand you are obviously hurt.

🌺

The OP is probably in shock at the responses. Anyway, she isn’t coming back!

Having read your update, you are only seeing what you want to see
You are your parents child but you are not a child anymore.
You are depending on them to provide you with a social life too, which is absolutely not the norm, unless there are additional needs.
I suspect they're concerned about " failure to launch" rather than you sharing a roof.
Don't you ever think" At 23, there must be more than this( I have a 23 year old DS)

But they're not threatening to kick her out and to do so would be awful on them. They are asking her to work more! Full time hours are that for a reason.

Why would it be awful to expect a 23 year old to stand on their own two feet?

They're also not asking her to work more, they just don't want her hanging round the house doing nothing all day long, which is perfectly reasonable. If OP wants to spend all her time at home, she can move out and fund it herself.

As for your comment about Asian families - generally the women do everything around the house and then they marry and do everything for their in-laws. It's not exactly something to aspire to IMO. They certainly wouldn't allow their daughter to sit around at home doing nothing all day!

Time you had your own place! Use your extra day to start looking for a flat/flat share whatever you can afford. I wouldn't even dream of going' no contact ' for such a triviality. I think you could regret that move. Good luck to you.