Would you go nc with your parents for this

I dunno, maybe they don't want to do the things a 23-year old wants to do? She heartily disapproves of her father watching TV and gardening...

But they've given her a roof over her head. That's actually living together!

They want to spend their time together and not with you hanging around them. Dad can do what he likes in his own home, especially as he's retired. Going nc sounds petty, self indigent and spoiled. You need to grow up.

Ha, I thought definitely an extreme reaction from him!

So? Grown ups don't usually do loads of "family stuff" with their parents do they? Maybe the odd day out when they visit each other. "Family time" is for kids. They see each other daily, what more does she want?

@Fluufer op said in one of her posts she has given up doing family stuff together as they never want to do anything with her.

@Pupinskipops did you miss the part where op also said they never want to spend family time with her?

I'm not in touch with my family either, but it's not over something as trivial as them wanting to give up that one day of week-free peace which they've been enjoying up to now in their retirement. They haven't said they don't want to spend time with her - they put her up (put up with her?) for the rest of the week when they don't have any obligation to.

To think of going nc over this and writing to Mumsnet about it, she seems like quite a volatile person and probably quite difficult to live with. I'd say on the evidence provided here she's lucky they let her stay with them at all. You're right, the kindest thing probably would be for her to grow up, leave the nest and find her own way in the world. My only question is: what's took her so long?

You probably need to move out before you go no contact….

They didn't say they don't want to spend time with her. Literally just that she should find something to do with her extra day off. It's perfectly normal for adults to want space from other adults. They see her every morning, every evening and every weekend. I'm not sure on what planet that isn't spending time together. I don't even see my husband that much.

Just stay out of your dads way, and look for another place to live.

@Pupinskipops if they don’t want to spend time with her though surely the kindest thing to do would be to give them exactly all the space they want. trust me after years and years and years of trying on my end to keep up relationships on my end with some family members i now learned to in future give the same energy back. maybe nc or lc is what ops parents want seeing as they want to spend no time with her at all

On that we can agree

And I'm very glad you're not mine

Thank God you're not a parent.

@Pupinskipops well maybe after she's moved out she should just communicate with them by email so as not to disturb her dad's quiet time 😆 Just think how much quiet time they could've had if they hadn't had kids in the first place...

"They"? Her parents? Parents in general?

There's no point in rehashing here why people are gobsmacked that the OP would be asking if it's appropriate to cut her parents out of her life because they want to enjoy their space quietly, as older people (retired, I think?) after a lifetime of work and caring for their daughter beyond what most parents do, on the basis that her father doesn't do anything anyway as a retired person except watch TV and garden (shock, horror!)

If you don't get it then, weirdly, you don't get it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Pupinskipops I just don't understand what the problem is-she's intending to move out, she might go NC. And everyone is up in arms despite saying she needs her own life and friends. I'm not a parent so I don't understand what they want or expect.

OK, if you want to be pedantic, and if you believe that you don't owe your parents even a modicum of respect for the sacrifices they don't have to make for you if they comply with the only basics of their legal requirements prior to 16 (actually) then at the very least the OP was living on her parents' goodwill for almost a third of her life, after they would have legally been able to kick her out if the house.

@Pupinskipops 18-23 isn't her "entire life"-given her a roof over her head from age 18 when they weren't obligated to by law would be more accurate. If parents resent housing their kids even up to 18 (and think their kids should be indebted to them for life for it) here's an idea-don't have kids!

At 23? Which law school did you go to?

Well if she goes NC they won't have to worry about that for long will they...

Breathing down your parents necks isn't a "lifestyle".

@kiwiane why do homebodies get so attacked on here constantly? Along with anyone who dares still live at home past 20. No other lifestyle gets this much criticism. Have 3 kids by 20-great! At least they moved out early 🙄

Why do you hang around at home with your parents when you’re not working?
You sound rather immature and I think you need a house share and to start living a bit - develop interests and friends of your own to hang out with. You can still visit your parents occasionally but not live in their pockets.

She's not mooching she pays FFS