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Original poster

Would you go nc with your parents for this

609 replies

giantcolouringbook · 01/09/2024 10:11

I am 23(f) and work f/t my company have been offering compresses hours which I have happily accepted bearing in mind I get paid the same and do the same hours but an extra day off plus weekends.
I excitedly told my parents this and they are furious saying that I should have discussed it with them first as it affects them too.
They've also said if I'm going to be home an extra day of in the week I need to do something with it and not just hang around the house.
My dad is retired and spends every day hanging around the house doing nothing.
Aibu to think a) this has nothing to do with them and b) I shouldn't be told to go out and do something when I am looking forward to an extra down day at home doing exactly what my dad does?
I am of course looking to move out asap but would you think there was any coming back from this or should I just move on never look back.

OP posts:
Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 01/09/2024 11:45

arethereanyleftatall · 01/09/2024 11:19

Your reaction here is precisely why they don't want you in their house any more. It's entitled and spoilt. Yes, if you live in their house you absolutely should have discussed it with them, so rude and arrogant of you not to even think if it. Lolling at your arrogant idea of going non contact with them - whilst you live in their house 😂

It's also... OPs house? It's their home. If they pay towards the bills/mortgage etc, they are within reason to also be ion the said house.

ohtowinthelottery · 01/09/2024 11:45

I understand your parents' frustration to a point. They are retired and expected to have the house to themselves by now. Instead they are seeing you spending more time in their house.

Either formulate a plan for your days off so you're not just moping around the house or move out.
I have an adult DC who lives at home (returned after Uni) and not only that but they work from home too. When they first moved back they worked in an office, which was better, but sadly with a change of job this is no longer an option. It completely alters the dynamics of the house. We haven't, however, fallen out over it. I'm glad they are working and saving so they can ultimately buy a house and move out for good.

VictoriaEra2 · 01/09/2024 11:44

It would worry me more, OP, that you said you had nowhere else to go on your day off. You’re 23, get out and get interests.

simpledeer · 01/09/2024 11:44

I can understand how you feel OP. However, they clearly are ready for you to move out now. The time has come!

No need for dramatics or going NC. Just start looking for a flat share or renting by yourself if you can afford it (no idea of your income or location which dictate options)

Hectorscalling · 01/09/2024 11:40

Iloveeverycat · 01/09/2024 11:12

This
Your dad sounds like a boring old fart. He has 5 days at home to himself. I love having the house to myself but I don't begrudge my own family being at home. And the reply So how many of your adult children still live at home?
I have 3 they work weekends so are home in the week why would a parent mind them being at home.

You have 3 adult children that only work weekends? And are around all week? So not away at uni, or studying? Just work 2 days a week each?

MollyButton · 01/09/2024 11:40

I think OP you don't understand what NC means.

You cannot go non contact with someone when you live in their home.

ClarasSisters · 01/09/2024 11:39

Is there going to be a massive drip feed from @giantcolouringbook where she tells us it's actually her house that her parents live in? Hmm

Hectorscalling · 01/09/2024 11:39

GingerPirate · 01/09/2024 11:12

Well, she'll have to make sure she won't need them, won't she?
My parents were emotionally abusive, far more than this. I was by no means a spoiled brat. These screwed up cretins were from a Communist country, a so called "silent generation".
Getting NC was a good thing.

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I am sorry your parents were abusive.

But you aren’t the Op. so you going Nc and projecting your situation on to Op, isn’t relevant.

housethatbuiltme · 01/09/2024 11:38

HelenWheels · 01/09/2024 11:34

she is 23

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and not acting like it.

Hectorscalling · 01/09/2024 11:37

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 01/09/2024 11:15

Likewise, let's hope the parents wont one day want to rely in her to pop in and help with the care.

Show quote history

They wont if she is NC will they?

housethatbuiltme · 01/09/2024 11:37

Iloveeverycat · 01/09/2024 11:12

This
Your dad sounds like a boring old fart. He has 5 days at home to himself. I love having the house to myself but I don't begrudge my own family being at home. And the reply So how many of your adult children still live at home?
I have 3 they work weekends so are home in the week why would a parent mind them being at home.

Co-dependence is not something to be wildly proud of.

It so strange people on MN love to brag about their imbalanced relationships with their kids as if being 'six ways to sunday' somehow makes them more loving parents.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 01/09/2024 11:36

HelenWheels · 01/09/2024 11:34

she is 23

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She's behaving like a teenager

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 01/09/2024 11:35

giantcolouringbook · 01/09/2024 10:26

The explanation given was dad likes his peace and quiet in the day but he spends all day just watching tv and pottering in the garden so how is me having an extra day off going to effect his life especially as he barely leaves the house and I don't have anywhere to go all day.

Nothing screams unwelcome more than hearing the horror of your daughter being around a bit more though.

Grow up. The world doesn't revolve around you.

My dad is retired and spends every day hanging around the house doing nothing

And why shouldn't here.

HelenWheels · 01/09/2024 11:35

op step away from social media and mumsnet
forget about going NC with your parents.

build bridges

greengreyblue · 01/09/2024 11:34

Attitude is teenager level.

DoreenonTill8 · 01/09/2024 11:34

ginasevern · 01/09/2024 11:08

Fucking hell, you sound like Kevin the Teenager. Your dad has worked all his life and is entitled to do what the hell he likes in his retirement, he's earned it. If he wants to watch TV and potter around in the home that he has bought and paid for then that's his absolute entitlement. To compare your needs at 23 years old to his is beyond laughable. No wonder they don't want you hanging around. By the way, how exactly are you going to go NC when you have the privilege of living in your parents home? I really hope for your sake this post is a joke.

Yes, it's a bit teen angst 'mom i hate you, get out of my life, but first give me a ride to the mall with Susie'...

HelenWheels · 01/09/2024 11:34

Pluvia · 01/09/2024 11:32

Like her dad wants her stroppy teenage company!

Edited
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she is 23

Slawbans · 01/09/2024 11:33

when you get older your energy levels do drop and you realise it’s a finite supply. From an older person’s point of view, it makes sense to invest that youthful energy into something with a long term benefit. So a course that would improve your prospects, sports that keep your body healthy, extra work that would pay for a deposit on a house etc

A younger person would have probably see it more in terms of the fun they can have.

so they are being old and you are being y young. No need to go NC over t just. Mist young people just do what they want anyway, as will you!

stardust777 · 01/09/2024 11:33

It sounds as though you moving out might be the best solution for everyone. Staying in your family home as an adult is a privilege. For me, it sounds immature to want to go no contact with your parents just because your dad wants more personal space in his own home.

ClimbEveryLadder · 01/09/2024 11:32

giantcolouringbook
My dad is retired and spends every day hanging around the house doing nothing

It is your parents house what he does it up to them.

I wonder how weekends work? Do you help with housework? Do you do your own washing? Do you shop for food and cook some of the meals?

I have adult children living at home, I love them dearly and like a house full of people (not everyone does) but I’m starting to mind that I do the majority of housework whilst they use their time off to chill. I think it’s time they moved out but I know they’ll be upset if I tell them that. And I will miss them when they do but I won’t miss the extra housework and the living room being used for computer games.

Your response is very extreme and honestly comes across as immature.

greengreyblue · 01/09/2024 11:32

No contact ?? Wow massive over reaction. Yes they are being unreasonable but this warrants a discussion not alienating your parents for life!

Pluvia · 01/09/2024 11:32

HelenWheels · 01/09/2024 11:31

i am sorry they are so anti
you could have been company for your dad as well

Like her dad wants her stroppy teenage company!

Starlingexpress · 01/09/2024 11:32

Time to get yourself somewhere else to live.

Pluvia · 01/09/2024 11:31

Bestyearever2024 · 01/09/2024 11:27

Move out

Then you can do what you like

I can't fathom why on earth you want to go no contact with your parents because they've expressed a preference for how things happen IN THEIR OWN HOUSE

And how are you going to go no contact with them anyway, when you're living with them, IN THEIR HOUSE?

I think you might be 23 going on 13 🙄🤣

Grow up ffs!

Thank you @Bestyearever2024 for saving me the trouble.

HelenWheels · 01/09/2024 11:31

i am sorry they are so anti
you could have been company for your dad as well

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