Would you go nc with your parents for this

You are an adult, your dp don't actually have to be ok with you living with them under any circumstances. I don't think it's wildly unreasonable to be less than thrilled about you being at home more. It's their home.

You need to move out, for everyone's wellbeing. And try to appreciate that they've been generous accommodating you this long.

You may be their child, but you are not a child and have not been for years.

'I don't drink so have nowhere to go in the evenings'

• there is so much more to do in an evening than just go to a pub ! but having said that I have spent plenty of time in pubs / wine bars / cocktail bars and i don't drink, my family and friends have never had a problem with me being a non drinker.

'when I do pay my way to have a home to live in '

• probably best now tho if you feel / think like that is to find your own place

'evening times should be relaxing at home after work right?'

• I guess your parents would like to spend time together with each other in the evenings, without an adult child being sat with them every evening
• so I suppose you are welcome to relax in the evening in your bedroom - I guess you do have your own bedroom ?

'I try to do things as a family'

• why ? you are not a 5 year old child that needs to do activities or things with her parents

Do you not have any friends or even work colleagues with whom you can socialise in the evening / at weekends.

If not you need to join ' Meetup ' they have all sorts of activities and you will make friends of all ages that way.

I’m fascinated by the concept of the OP waiting until she stands on her own two feet and leaves home before going no contact with her parents because, as she said, she doesn’t intend going NC while she still lives with them.

I’ve tried working it out but haven’t got enough fingers….

I may have missed it but has OP actually answered the fundamental questions of rent/keep and other contributions to the home, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.?

I guess they are long gone from their own thread though….maybe something hit home ?

You try to arrange to do things with your parents in the evening? Why are you not doing things with your own friends?
When I was your age (I lived at home until I was 24), I popped home after work to get changed/eat before going out with friends/ to my hobbies/see my boyfirend etc. I never did things with my parents.
My DC doesn't have a lot of friends but keep their own company unless out at a hobby or working their 2nd (part time) job. Very occasionally we will invite them to join us if we're going somewhere we know they'd like to go or if we're going out for a pub meal, but never would they be trying to occupying their time by arranging to do things with us.

You need to move out! ASAP!!

Oh how noble of you to try to make it work, living in THEIR house🤦🏻‍♀️

So you'll use them until it suits you to move out THEN go NC.

your parents sound horrible, but you sound like an entitled brat.

Grow up, move out.

@ScottBakula Yeah re the personal slave. You never know these days! 😂

You are being rather ridiculous.

Just move out ASAP. No need for all the nc drama.

Where has she said she does? I asked in my first post whether or not she does her fair share (as have others) and I don't see that she has addressed that issue.

But I expect that OP is long gone. Which is an answer in itself.

Gosh! No one on MN would be able to voice an opinion on most of the threads if we all took your sensible approach.

And it comes round so much quicker than you’d believe!

Adults in a shared home consult each other about changes in routine and schedule to check it works for everyone in the household. That was your first oversight. A husband or wife consult each other, for example.

^This^

I am a parent with 2 adult dc still living at home aged 29 and 18. One works 12 hour shifts, a mix of days and nights, weekdays and weekends, sometimes from home, sometimes in the office. The other works 9-5.30 Monday to Friday and occasional Saturday’s. Ds2 (27) only moved out last year after saving money and buying a house and I want to give the others the opportunity to do the same. I love my children dearly but It’s really hard juggling meal times to suit everyone and keeping quiet at appropriate times to allow for others sleeping.

I would say It also depends on how much space you have at home. We are lucky to have a downstairs bedroom with en-suite so the boys have upstairs to themselves, 2 bedrooms, an office and a shower room so apart from the kitchen, they are “self contained” and I cook all the evening meals so that we don’t get in each other’s way. In a smaller house I’m not sure it would work. Fortunately neither of them are very interested in “family time”.

You WBVU to go no contact with your parents over this but it does sound as if the time is coming for you to look for your own place for everyone’s sake.

This. I had my own home and two kids by that age. I’m not saying that’s the way to go, but OP needs to grow up and find her own independence. 🙄

As a parent of young children, I find it thoroughly depressing to think that they could get to 23 and still be mooching around the house all day and whining that I am not playing with them enough

I think you really need to remember this. They raised you. Now they want their own time. It's absolutely fair.

I suspect their panties may be in a bundle because there is more to this than meets the eye. I’d really like to hear their side of the story before making any judgement about who’s in the right.

I’m sure they still love you, but probably they would quite like to have their own space back. As I’m sure you would also like your own space, too.

Going non-contact is unnecessary. I’m sure you’ll all get along much better and enjoy the time you spend together more when you’re not under each other’s feet.

Find a house share, OP. You’re at that age where living with parents can be a bit testing for all concerned. You can visit and meet often.

YABU

Op sounds like you might enjoy a sociable house share?

in the meantime, start volunteering or join some clubs in the evenings. You can’t expect your parents to be your social life when you’re in your 20s.

Maybe, maybe not. If OP rarely goes out, maybe she won't meet anyone to have children with.

To me, it just sounds like a couple who are probably similar age to me or a little older, who have had enough of a young adult hanging round every evening trying to get them to do the things they should be doing with friends their own age. They sound at the end of their tether that OP has decided to have another day off to hang around with them not living her life to the full when they want their space and freedom back. It is not an unreasonable desire from them. Most parents want their children to grow up and live independently of them. It doesn't mean they aren't delighted to have them visit regularly or look after their grandchildren sometimes. It is the next phase of life, and OP sounds stuck in 'child mode', which must be really frustrating for her parents to watch. When they suggest she should do something with her extra day, she throes a strop and sees this as something she can't come back from. It is massively immature.

Why do you think that they’re upset by this change? There has to be a reason-do you not really get on with them?

@giantcolouringbook if what you're missing is spending quality time with your parents then there are ways around that - you could tell them. You could suggest a day out somewhere, or take them out for a meal one evening.

It's easy to miss quality time together when you're in each other's pockets and it's nice that you want to enjoy their company.

Grow up and move out. Your parents must be longing for their own space. Extraordinary to refer to yourself as a child at 23 🙄

I think its ok to live with parents at 23yold even when you finished education and started to work. It doesnt sound like it is working in this case though. Difficult to tell which side is possibly unreasonable. It could easily be the case that the child is difficult to live with, and vice versa, and anything in between.

I would expect them to tell you in a nice way if they want you to move out or be less present in the house though.