Would you go nc with your parents for this

Wow, "massive" overreaction (on your part OP!) doesn't even begin to describe it.

It sounds so ridiculous that I'm wondering if it's not a fake post.

I don't understand the obsession with rent - it sounds like what the OP's parents want is not money but a bit of space.

It's one thing living with an adult child who has a normal social life and goes away at the weekend sometimes etc and quite another living with one who wants to socialise with you all the time

You are massively overrating.

I have no issue with the OP going NC with her parents if she thinks it is the right thing to do. If this is the only incident, it is OTT however. If it's the longest in a long series of incidents of OP seeking approval and being treated negatively, this might be the final straw.

The issue I do have is that I think OP would be using NC to punish her parents, rather than as it is normally intended which is to protect the mental health of the NC person. People going NC also generally try other strategies first - and there is no suggestion that OP has done that.

A person going NC in OP's situation would be hiring a van and moving themselves out as soon as possible, even if it meant sofa surfing at friends' houses while they find somewhere more permanent. They would not be continuing to live at their parents house for some unspecified future time frame while it suits them to do so, and only starting NC when their parents are no longer of immediate help.

People need space from each other, period. Even super happy couples still need space from each other. It doesn't mean they don't love you, or they don't want to be your parents.

If your Dad wants a bit more space from you, that might sting a bit but that's his perogative.

Time to move out I think. Going NC is completely over-dramatic and you won't cope in the real world unless you adjust your expectations - the world doesn't owe you a favour.

Such double standards and misogyny on MN. There’s a thread where a 24 year old (NT) man is constantly hovering over his mum in her house and criticising her and posters are telling her to hide in her bedroom.

And yet, OP, who is nearly the same age, is being told to move out and that she’ ungrateful.

OP, I’d suggest that you talk to your parents. If you’re paying rent, offer to pay a bit more. If you want to move out that’s fine, but if you can stay and save money for a deposit to buy a property that would be so much better for you.

You want to act from here on in, for the rest of their lives, as though you have no parents? You want to ignore them at birthdays and have them ignore yours, spend every Christmas elsewhere. For them not to be at your wedding if you have one, or be grandparents to your children if you have them. To forego all possibilities of any support, practical, emotional of financial for the rest of their lives. To not be informed if they are ill or die and obviously, to inherit nothing from them? Because that's what 'no contact' means. It's not something to do, for a bit, to show you're cross, like storming off to your room. It means cutting the person from your life, and accepting that that could well be final.

You sound horrible and ungrateful.

Someone wrote this about you in an earlier post. You dont sound like that to me at all. You are allowed to state your opinion too. Good luck!

I find it interesting that you suggest going NC with your parents. A lot of ppl here state that your reaction is OTT over this, but its your reaction nevertheless. Maybe this is the camel that broke the straws back so to speak. Maybe there a bunch of other behaviours they do that you are finding increasingly hard to tolerate anymore. You're 23 , I absolutely couldn't live with my parents at that age and I moved out at 23 interestingly too. Mine had to have a say in EVERTHING I did ,didnt do. on everyone I saw and didn't see .....u get the picture

Swingers club 🤣🤣🤣

I also guarantee someone with OPs personality has FOMO and a complete lack of awareness. Like little kids who refuse to go to bed because their parents are still up and they think they have an entitlement to be involved in that. Or kids that constantly try to join in private adult conversations with wildly unrelated things because they don't understand whats even being talked about.

If her parents invite friends around for a cup of tea and catch up or have a dinner party one night etc... I bet good money OP is the type that just saddles in blind and plonks herself down or grabs a plate and starts talking not taking any hint that she wasn't invited because they're not her friends and they don't want to entertain a frankly childish 23 year old.

Like if Mabel who popped round for support from her long standing friend might not want to go into the details of Colin's colonoscopy results for prostate cancer in front of a oblivious 23 year old who is eating jammy dodgers and now babbling on non stop about love island and the sweaty guy who didn't wipe down the machine at the gym as if Mabel came to catch up on her life.

OP has failed to even basically grow up.

She has forged no personal friendships of her own, doesn't leave the house but expects her parents to cater too and entertain her constantly in lieu of that.

It is straight up not fair to them. OP needs to grow up and move on and she will likely see her relationship with her parents improve if she does as well as developing new relationships.

Parents are parents, they do not have to be 'friends' with their kids. Its nice if they grow up to be friendly adults (which they can't do if one adult acts like an little child they have to parent still) but parents and kids can also sometimes just have wildly different personalities and not enjoy the same things.

Just because your blood doesn't even mean you have to like each other never mind thinking it means you have to be besties who spend all you time together in each others pockets. That not healthy at all.

Over dependence and clinginess is utterly suffocating.

Your extreme reaction to something very reasonable from them tells me that YOU are the problem.
Off course your father can do what he wants in HIS house.

They do sound annoying but going NC sounds OTT.

my son has been around all summer as he’s left school and tbh he potters around doing his own thing it barely has any impact on me whether he’s home or not

Don't hold your breathe waiting for a response Jenny

Do you actually share any of the household duties?
Do you pay the going rent?

Do they understand the idea of compressed hours?
Does it affect them in anyway?
For example:
Change of meal times?
Change of pick up times?
Will you be in the house when they have guests or do an activity or actually have time together?

Probably, time to move out.

@Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast

i get what you mean but it sounds like OP is relying on her parents solely for any kind of social outlet, and that’s not fair on them

OP they are being a bit unkind. I get their need and want to enjoy their retirement. BUT as you say, you have a place at home too. It’s your comment about even considering going NC whether it’s after you leave home or not. It’s totally OTT. I get that you’re hurt so have a chat with them .
I have one adult DD still at home- she’s 20. She does her own thing and also spends time with us as a family. I cook and she does one night. We spend time together but also apart. They are being cool and distant but did this happen overnight or have they always been this way? Do you have siblings?

Gosh, you're definitely your parents daughter! All as melodramatic as each other!

On the face of it it does seem like they are being a little mean and selfish but is it perhaps your parents like their routine and you've just thrown them a big curveball, and they're a bit irritated with you still living at home in the first place? Some people find changes to routine really upsetting and distressing, things that others don't even bat an eyelid too. Some people find it hard to understand different working routines that aren't the traditional Mon-Fri 9-5 of old.

I expect you'll all get used to a new rhythm in time, sounds like you all need to calm down, take some time to digest and stop all being so selfish and dramatic! But definitely try your best to move out at 23. You may find it improves your relationship with your parents.

Imo means in my opinion and it is my opinion that it's sad if parents never want to spend fun time with their adult children.

You can say it's not sad in your opinion but you can't tell me it's not sad in mine.

God you're bratty.

The words you are looking for is:

'Thank you mam & dad, thank you for letting me stay here for 5 years longer than you had too purely for my own sake even though you had any obligation too and even though its a inevitably a burden on your finances and effected your lifestyle'.

Your entitled attitude shows everyone why your parents are sick of you, if you where a touch more gracious and humble then maybe they would actually enjoy your company and having you around.

@giantcolouringbook I’d be embarrassed to be living at home at 23.
and whining about my parents on top of it?
If you can afford to pay your own way the. Go and do it somewhere else.

@Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast

its not sad- op is 23 she should be out and about at the weekends, not having “family time” with her parents!

This thread has made me laugh.

I thought the NC whilst living at home with them was funny, but actually I think the 'obviously I meant NC when I eventually move out' is even funnier 😂

Unfortunately, life is not fair.
How other families are doesn't change how yours is.
How other parents feel doesn't change how yours feel.

You have to work with what you've got and what you've got is parents who want, it seems, you to move out and become independent.

It doesn't seem like they want family fun time at the weekends or to give you lots of time and attention.

That's sad, imo. But it is what it is.

You can't demand people behave how you want them to.