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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is Sweet 16 really a big deal?

140 replies

Cantinfluenceme · 01/09/2024 09:40

So my sister has 4 daughters, around a year between them all, the eldest of them will be 16 next month. We have just received a birthday invite in the post (I see her all the time so wondering why it had to be posted also). This invite was fancier than a wedding invitation, inviting us to her 'Sweet Sixteen' birthday celebration. In the invite is the restaurant details with a nicely worded poem letting us know that they would like our company but we pay for our own food. Also complete with a QR code with a link to an Amazon wish list for my niece.. I've had a look and presents range from £50 to £500 😳. I'm flabbergasted by the whole thing.. is this a thing? Do I have to fork out for this for the next 4 years as the other girls turn 16, then again I presume at 18 and 21??? AIBU to say this is totally over the top for a sixteenth birthday? Myself and my husband and 3 kids are all invited and will be expected to be there, I have kids of my own that are older and younger and wouldn't have even considered this age that much of a special birthday?

OP posts:
GabriellaMontez · 01/09/2024 10:20

It's as big as you want it to be.

You don't have to go, you don't have to buy off the gift list.

It's not what I had or did but that's OK.

Is there an actual problem?

GingerPirate · 01/09/2024 10:16

Sweet 16?
I don't know, nobody fucked around with my generation.
What I can tell you, it's probably the last nice time you have, before adulthood turns life into surviving shit mode.
Joking just a little.
Seriously, I'm 45, made a good life for myself, but the "Sweet 16" was probably the happiest time on this Earth so far.

Sethera · 01/09/2024 10:02

Treat it as a normal birthday and don't spend more on a gift than you normally would. A family meal out for any birthday isn't unreasonable but if the restaurant is out of budget, explain this and decline.

Werweisswohin · 01/09/2024 10:00

They aren't that unusual to make a fuss.
They aren't that unusual to throw a party.
They are being very entitled to send you a gift list.
The paying for your own meal would be ok at a small birthday celebration, less so at a party you're expected to provide a gift for!

Glittertwins · 01/09/2024 09:57

We didn't do anything different to any other birthday.

GoldenLabrador · 01/09/2024 09:54

I find the whole idea a bit icky feeling, but I’m probably just jaded.

MrsBobtonTrent · 01/09/2024 09:52

Sounds a bit grabby to want you to pay for your own food AND buy a present from a list. Send an Amazon gift card for however much you would spend on a niece's birthday. No need to buy off the list itself. Meal out or not - up to you.

longdistanceclaraclara · 01/09/2024 09:52

No it's not. I wouldn't go on the basis of the £50 minimum present. What on earth is she asking for?

Needmorelego · 01/09/2024 09:51

Will your sister do a similar party when your niece turns 18? If yes - then having a "sweet sixteen" is a bit cheeky.
This is your sister though. You should be able to talk to her and say "I'm really sorry but we aren't going to be able to afford that".
Talk to her.

x2boys · 01/09/2024 09:48

Not in the UK no, I think it's more of a thing in the US , from my memories of reading teenage fiction and watching films like pretty in pink

Liv999 · 01/09/2024 09:48

I had a party for my dds 16th, but just in our house with family, she had a big cake and food which i paid for, people gave what they wanted but certainly no wishlist, that is definitely over the top!

Zanatdy · 01/09/2024 09:42

It’s a thing, but I certainly wouldn’t be shelling out for a party. But I know kids in my DD’s year had parties, but just round the house, not at a fancy restaurant. Very cheeky to have the cheapest present at £50. I guess it’s not even a party if everyone’s paying for their own meal.

probster · 01/09/2024 09:42

and if you don’t want to go, don’t

probster · 01/09/2024 09:42

it is obviously big for your sister and her daughter

and that, is that

MouseofCommons · 01/09/2024 09:41

No. Not a big deal at all IME.