Is Sweet 16 really a big deal?

More American tosh designed to part you from a lot of money
Every day has to be a party day

We are in the USA and our dc and their friends all turned 16 this year.
There were trips to nice restaurants but host paid the costs.
There were gifts but no gift list.
Whatever your dsis is doing it isn't something I recognize from the USA.

Absolutely ridiculous It's an American 'thing'
The average 16year old would rather hangout with their friends!Birthday card and a small gift is what my children were happy and grateful for.

@PointsSouth

The Neil Sedaka Song is very worrying!

And Young Girl, by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap.

Young girl, Get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl
You're much too young, girl

With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe you're old enough, to give me love
And now it hurts to know the truth

Beneath your perfume and make-up
You're just a baby in disguise
And though you know, that it's wrong to be alone with me
That 'come on' look is in your eyes

😱

@Cantinfluenceme I think the 'Sweet Sixteen' nonsense is ridiculous, and it's not a 'milestone' birthday. Will these same people make a fuss of said child for their 18th birthday too? Like hell would I spending £200 on a gift for a 16 year old that is not my own child. Madness

Send her a MacDonald's voucher if you usually buy gifs
swerve the party

No

The Sedaka song is very worrying…

“Tonight’s the night I’ve been waiting for
Because you’re not a baby, anymore.
You’ve turned into the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.
Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen.”

…they have a register for that kind of thing.

@Cantinfluenceme there's very little you can do at 16 that you can't do at 15.
21 isn't important anymore and hasn't been for decades.
18 is when legally a child becomes an adult.
So if you do wish to buy your nieces a special gift tell your sister it will be for their 18th and 18th only.
For 16 give her a £20 Amazon voucher.
(and if you can't afford the meal don't go - what 16 year old wants a meal for their birthday though? Most would want pizza or something surely....)

It’s definitely more of a US/Canada thing. Historically, it marked the age when a girl becomes a woman, eligible for marriage. These days it seems to be distanced from that and just a celebration of a milestone in a girl’s life, but what exactly is this milestone, that is specific to girls?

To me it’s a bit weird that a) there isn’t an equivalent celebration for 16 year old boys b) the name ‘sweet 16’ is a bit questionable given the historical connection of marriage eligibility + 16 being the age of consent. People will say it has other significance in terms of maturity (in the US), such as being able to drive, but again boys can also drive at 16…? So the question is, what exactly are people celebrating these days? Again, I’m jaded…

No, just a commercial.

Are sweet sixteen parties a celebration of a teenage girl reaching the age of consent or is there another reason I’m not aware of? I’ve heard of them in the US but not really here, it seems a bit OTT

Same.
It's like celebrating the fact that she's now old enough to legally lose he virginity.

There's no equivalent for boys, is there?

I'd make it clear that if you're going to participate in celebrating a 16th birthday, then you won't also be buying big presents for 18th or 21st.

It's all a bit over the top, I'd just go and take your own present.

Do boys have them too? Mine wasn't sweet when he was sixteen, neither was Dd to be fair.

I think it is very cheeky to expect you to pay for a meal and buy an expensive present.
No they are not a thing in the UK.
Personally I would have a subsequent occaision!

“Hurray, it’s now legal to try cop off with you” 🤢

It used to be a bigger milestone when most left school at 16ish to go out to work and marriages and families started younger. The other big one was 21. But that’s 18 now.

Those old songs about turning 16 - Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen, You’re Sixteen, You’re Beautiful and You’re Mine sound a bit ick now.

In my growing up in the uk it has always been a minor one of the special birthdays, not as big as 18, but special because legally you could do more once you hit 16 such as get married, buy cigarettes or lottery tickets, so a landmark in the transition to adulthood and being able to make your own decisions.

Nothing like the US though where its completely OTT with limos, massive garden parties, cars as gifts in some of the extreme examples.

You should go, give a voucher (they should have had that as an option on the gift list in 5/10/20/25/50 increments).

@Cantinfluenceme

It's not a thing. It's yet another American 'ism. 🤦‍♀️

Celebrate, have a party, that's lovely... but a link to a gift list, like a wedding, with a £50 base price?? Hell to the no!! That's tacky & grabby.

Could it be that it’s just a family meal but there’s a fancy invite to make it feel more special for her? That could also explain (but not justify) the price levels of the presents?

or is it a full on (but PAYG) party with a load of friends etc?!

Wow, no!
I know 15 is massive in Latinx communities, and there are song and stuff from the 1960s about Sweet 16, but culturally it’s isn’t A Thing in my experience.

My daughter and 5 nieces were 16 fairly recently (and one will be next month) and there wasn’t anything like this. They were more interested in going out with friends than big formal dinners.

Never heard of it here and I’ve got 3 older than that.

However, the parents nowadays seem to have special everythings. I work in a primary school and some celebrate last single digit birthday, new double digit birthday, last primary school birthday. Instead of a regular party, they’ll hire a limo to collect the children etc.

I would attend the party if you’d normally go for a meal and pay yourself anyway. But just buy the birthday gift you want to buy. No one should feel pressured to buy off an Amazon list.

As you say, start as you mean to go on. You’ll have another 3 to go.

I thought it was only in the US. I don't get baby reveal, or baby showers either.

It’s fine if that’s what your DSis wants to do…..it’s also fine for you not to get on board with it….just gift the amount you normally would….no need to attend any celebration