Is Sweet 16 really a big deal?

‘Sweet’ is sexist tripe.

i’d skip the party and send cash or voucher for whatever you usually spend

A posted invite to invite you out to a meal when everyone is paying for themselves is just very strange. With a gift registery. Very odd. I'd get my niece a nice gift, but I'd pull my sister up on the strange party, otherwise you're looking at this for everyone else as well. Others will be thinking the same.

I'd expect an invite to a party (that I'm not paying for).

Great to celebrate but to have a gift lift is insane and you need to tell them they have overstepped the bounds of reasonable behaviour.

It would seriously piss me off if I received a super fancy - and no doubt expensive - invitation basically asking me to spend lots of money. It's all very pretendy for Instagram, isn't it? If you have the means, I'd perhaps go to the meal but I'd be swerving the guest list. She'd be getting a voucher for whatever pish she has on this extravagant list.

* we wonder why the majority are the way they are*

do you have much to do with 16 year olds?

I don’t think that’s a thing….It use to be more of a big deal because 16 was seen as a stage in ‘growing up’ and more of a milestone. Yes you can legally have sex, but also legally marry, get a job and start thinking about being independent and responsible for your own future.

However now-a-days a 16 year old is practically treated like a little child who isn’t responsible for their own actions/behaviour because they are sooooo young - and we wonder why the majority are the way they are…..🙄

Bloody hell that is so cheeky!

It would be one thing if they were putting on a nice party, still a bit OTT but fair enough if that’s what they want to do…but no they are essentially asking people to come for a meal (that they themselves pay for) AND want you all to buy a present that is £50 min!

I would tell your sister to get her head out her arse - especially if she’s planning on doing the same for the others! So entitled.

People who make such a big deal of things like this should carry a warning, or have to wear something identifiable.

YANBU for not wanting to fall for such nonsense.

bloody hell

talk about seeing shadows!!

It's fine for your sister to make a big fuss and take it seriously if she thinks it's important.
It's not fine to expect her family to foot the bill.
Inviting people to a party you're not intending to pay for and then including a gift registry is just tacky behaviour, regardless if it's for a wedding, a birthday or anything else.
Either go to the meal if you want to or say sorry you can't make it if not, and put £20 in a card for your niece.

What bothers me about Sweet Sixteen is it seems to only apply to girls, not boys. Why is that? It feels icky to me - 'congrats now a bloke can legally shag you without being labelled a nonce'

lol, what a load of performative shit! Take it they watch The Kardashians etc…. A card and present and smallish party are plenty. What do you do for the 21st if 16 is everything.

Can't imagine my sons wanting a sweet 16🤣

They have 4 girls and they are buying into an expensive old fashioned US import. Trying to cut costs by having guests pay for their own meals.

I don’t blame you for not wanting to go.

Puzzling that it is a thing parents here consider at all. I’m guessing it’s a girl thing only. Peak sexist nonsense

Expecting you to pay for food and an expensive present is very strange.

My daughter's friend had her 16th recently and she invited the whole family. It was also in a big fancy hall and had a fancy invitation. However meals were provided and the food was delicious. It was pretty light hearted to be honest. And nothing was mentioned about gifts at all - I just gave a £40 gift card on behalf of the whole family.

We had a Sweet Sixteen party at home with a fancy cake. I think a lot of girls want a sweet sixteen themed party because they see it in US shows but your DS's version sounds over the top. I think it's absolutely cool for her to celebrate her daughter turning 16 as she sees fit but the wish list and expecting guests to pay is icky. If you host, you pay. That way you choose the experience you can afford rather than choosing an experience you can't afford and expecting other people to pay.

'Sweet Sixteen' is actually a reference to the fact that girls are now legal.

It was referenced a fair bit in songs of the 50s/60s and its all about the fact this sweet, innocent, charming girl is no longer off limits to the older men who have had their eye on her.

It's why it's a thing for girls but not really for boys. There generally aren't hoards of older women circling 15 year old boys waiting for them to become legal.

Im aware that this isnt what people think they are doing when they celebrate 'sweet sixteen'. But it's not a lovely thing at all.

I think that sounds really bizarre. 16 has always been just another birthday with anyone I've ever known. The only thing that made it different to other birthdays according to my daughter was that it was legal for her to have sex 😆

More often than not, it is around where I live (NW Eng).

Girls tend to have elaborate parties, along with lots of big ticket gifts (designer handbag, music gig tickets, etc).
Boys not so much elaborate parties, but still expensive gifts.

However, big presents are usually off family, I've not heard of someone having a wishlist! They'd be seen as very rude/cheeky .

More American crap that's been imported over here, no doubt courtesy of those vile garish Sweet 16 TV shows that they shit out.

It's another commercialised Americanism. Like baby showers.

Utterly creepy phrase

In my husbands family, 16, 18 and 21 are big birthdays and everyone gives the kids £££. So we do this tradition for his side of the family.

For 16 it’s to save for driving lessons and car
at 18 net a decent amount for Uni at 21 to help them get started after uni. So I think it depends on each family.

We didn't do sweet 16 but some people we know did
For my niece I would go with a smile on my face
Normally spend £100 or so on presents for nieces / nephews
Does seem a bit OTT, but maybe she is hsving problems with friends/school and needs cheering up

American AND Cheeky Fuckery