Worried about the pace of DSs relationship - should spend some time apart?

who knows maybe this is love of his life & future mom of your grandkids

Aww that sounds actually lovely. They are in love and enjoying their time together.

It made me think of my Uni love and our travels together. Fond memories!

Please don't get involved. He is an adult and they are not doing anything wrong.

He’s an adult. You have absolutely no say in his relation whatsoever. You can have rules at your house Eg unmarried couples don’t sleep in the same room. But you have 0 say in what he does and he is u likely to listen to you anyway. Say nothing. It will only cause a rift

You’re far too invested in how your son runs his life. Can’t you trust him to decide when and how often he sees his gf-he’s not 13! Jeez, no wonder youngsters can’t cope with life with parents butting in constantly and thinking they know better. Yes sometimes parents do know better but the best teacher once you’re an adult is experience.

It sounds adorable!

The worst that can happen is they break up and look back fondly at this point in time.

If your adult son is in a relationship with a woman who seems lovely then that’s great news. Maybe they will break up, maybe they won’t. As long as he is happy, what’s the problem?

I never asked my parents’ opinions on my relationships, did you? If you stick your oar in, you will annoy him. Let him enjoy his post-university life!

Completely irrelevant, but this has made me remembers being 22, in love for the first time, and travelling around Asia for six very happy months. (Middle aged wistful sigh.)

I have been there with my 20 year old, dd. Thankfully, they quickly realised that marriage wasn't all it would take to live in each other country and revised that plan.

I say thankfully because in ky case I had huge concerns about the way dd was being treated. Which she woke up to soon when she was 'forbidden' from going out with friends.

It is scary when adult kids get in relationships, it's normal to be concerned. As you say, we can only be there for them. Not decide for them.

I'd love to swap places with him or her right now and experience once again that crazy crazy love that you get when you're young and you can't bear to be apart for a minute.

Those of us who experienced it half a century ago still look back partly with fondness and partly shaking our heads at those crazy weeks or months but we wouldn't change it for the world.

Who do you think it would be better for to spend the two weeks apart? Presumably you as you'd have your son to yourself and get to spend longer with him.
It certainly won't be better for the couple, who clearly want to be together.
As they're adults, it's their call though.

Ahhh young love. The best feeling. They both sound lovely. Lots of stuff in common and seem really happy to spend some with your family and hers. This is so gorgeous.

Let him be!

Your attitude might come from 'love' but if you keep this up the only thing you'll succeed at is alienating the pair of them.

He is not a child. He is enjoying an intensity of a relationship that is going to naturally end very soon when work takes over.

Or is he really taking a full year off after graduating?

He's having the time if his life by the sound of it and seems to have hit the jackpot with the girlfriend. Love's young dream. You must have felt like that too when you were young? Non-stop happiness and tons of sex and adventure .I wish my son was doing all this. It's none of your business by the way

They sound so sweet:)

I have similar concerns about my 22 year old except that in his case they have been apart because she lives in another country, but in all they’ve only spent five weeks together in person and are so desperate to be together that they’re talking about getting married so they can live in the same country.

I think they’re rushing into serious commitment far too soon.

But they’re both adults. I’ve told DS when he asked for my opinion that marriage is a huge commitment. That I totally get the wanting to not be apart, but if it’s meant to be then it will be without the need to rush into marriage.

But I can’t stop them ,

One of the hardest things about having children is that they don’t stay children, and don’t necessarily make the same decisions we would. But equally we don’t have children just to keep them with us. They grow up, and make their own lives. And all we can do is be there for them.

He is an adult so mature enough to work it out for himself

Wow, you seriously need to butt out.

I get you may be concerned it’s intense and may end badly and he may end up heart broken. He might. He might not. But he is an adult. He decides what he needs. And he could get his heart broken, even if they have some time apart.

Why do you think they ‘need’ 2 weeks apart? Are you sure it’s not a case of you would prefer to have him home for a bit, on his own, before he leaves again?

What’s the worst that will happen? They break up. And he either carries on travelling or comes home.

He's 23 so you don't have a say.

Would you prefer if he had a different girl every night of the week?

yeah yabu. He is (almost) 23. If it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t work out but clearly they are both having a great time & are full of plans & living life with someone who he seems to have a similar life out look too & presumably he was already taking the gap year anyway?

as long as they can afford it - but out. He is an adult & its none of your business now how “intense” his new relationship is

Eldest daughter met her now hubby at uni they were together 8 years when he proposed. Middle DD met her now hubby at uni in her last year they were together 8 months when he proposed. Youngest DD met her bf on freshers week aged 19 at uni and the whole time I fretted in case they broke up then she'd be devastated. They've been together 7 years now and have travelled the world together they are both professionals and work in the big city. They're coming home next weekend and we suspect a permission to be asked! I'm buying champagne and cleaning her Grandmother's diamond ring just in case!

I met DH at that age. I think we were pretty unbearable for the first year or so. My friends were worried…we were unable to stay apart. We’ve calmed down, I assure you, and are still together 20 years later. My parents (and his) very sensibly said nothing and let us ride it out.

It's only been nine weeks FFS!