Worried about the pace of DSs relationship - should spend some time apart?

I actually agree with you: I would find that enormously stifling and I don’t think it’s healthy for people that young to be stuck together like glue never mind talking about marriage FFS. I think balance and variety is important.

That said other posters are correct that there’s nothing you can do about it. They are adults and he needs to make his own mistakes.

Sounds completely normal. He's in his 20s, he doesn't need to spend 2 weeks with his mum and dad!

He’s a grown man and you don’t get a say. It sounds more like you are upset you won’t get him to yourself for a couple of weeks

Relationships can develop fast. My husband proposed 3 weeks after we met. Over 50 years together so far.

AIBU to think this is way too much and they should each spend 2 weeks with there family after graduation then meet back up to travel if that is what they really want

He's an adult. Let him make his own decision. Maybe he doesn't want to spend 2 weeks with you?

Sending so much love to you and your family, I really hope your son can recover, alcoholism is awful.

You can think whatever you want but you're being unreasonable if you think you should be having any say in this. He's an adult and trying to interfere in this will just drive a wedge between you and he'll still do what he wants to anyway.

Same age as my son who is also in the throes of fresh love with his new girlfriend.
I don't interfere, he is an adult and how he spends his time is no longer in my remit. She seems lovely...clever, aware, goggle-eyed over him too.

This is life mama, let him learn to live it. x

Enjoy the week you have with him, get to know the girl. Have a big family meal to send them off, wave goodbye and wish them both a wonderful time travelling. He's either met the love of his life or he's having a great time and it burns out either way he's going anyway.

It's great she's happy to come to stay at yours and be with his family and that he wants to spend time with hers..bodes well!

Yes, of course you'd prefer to spend time with just him, but just swallow hard, smile and grit your teeth like we all do at some point.

In the nicest possible way, you need to get a grip!
Your adult child is in the early intense stages of a relationship.
He is bringing her home so he will still be seeing you.
You need to cut the apron strings and embrace her or loose him

He's 23 !

He's a fully grown adult!

By the time I was 23, I had been with my partner (now my husband) for 6 years and we were a few months off having our first baby.

Leave him alone and butt out

Pressed send too soon. His priorities have shifted to her, as they do in a relationship and as hard as it is, you need to understand things will be different now whether he stays with her or ends up with someone else.

I met someone at that age, was the same and we were together for 10 years and married. Nothing to do with you at this age and if you try to stick your oar in they will probably stay elsewhere.

May well end badly. In the meantime, he’s an adult so not your business. If it does, he’ll get over it as we all have. If it doesn’t, great.

How do you propose to separate them exactly?

I don't know if I'm allowed to link to another thread on here but there is a live one atm where the pils turn up at every holiday the op books. They are practically stalking the op & her family, gatecrashing all events so she feels she can't breathe. Please don't be like that batshit stalker mil.

I understand you may have concerns about the intensity of the relationship . You might feel that it's too much too soon, however voicing these concerns will only cause problems.

If you feel she might be isolating your ds from his family then just be there for him & keep a subtle eye out. You don't want to raise suspicions this early in case she starts to engineer a rift.

I was pregnant at 22 with my first child (planned!). I had been with my now husband for two years at that point, we have been together 20 years now and the kids are almost 18 & 14.
Your son sounds like he's living like a teenager to me and that is exactly how you are treating him! Imagine being so worked up about an adults very brief relationship....
Cut the apron strings for both of your sakes.

So is this more about the expectations you had for how he was going to spend these 2 weeks at home?

He won't be home again in his mind until next summer, at least not properly.

I think this is the crux of it. You want two weeks of him, undivided, not a week of him and his new girlfriend.
But his priorities are going to look very different to that unfortunately.

I think you may have forgotten what falling in love feels like. I met my husband at 22, I was travelling and left after two months of knowing him to go to Greece, I was away for a month missed him like crazy so came back, moved in with him and we are still together 24 years later. It doesn't have to end badly.

Its fine. (Also nothing to do with you realistically)

That would just mean they don't stay at OP's house.

I don't get this at all. I met my husband when I was 23 and we were both living in London. He isn't British and was going travelling and I decided to go with him. It didn't occur to me to spend two weeks apart to test the relationship and we've been married 24 years. Very happily.

He is 23, he’ll make his own choices. Travelling friendship can be pretty intense anyway! Don’t fall out with him right before he goes away for months op, how gutted would you feel if you stick your nose in about this, he heads off to his girlfriend’s on bad terms with you and then you don’t see him for months?