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Original poster

To quit work and be a SAHM?

188 replies

Eviolle · 31/08/2024 21:31

MIL and FIL sadly died young (both in their 60s) and have left DH and I in a position where we will have no mortgage, and a sizable (for us) amount of savings. We have two DC (3 and under 1).

We should have enough inheritance to really set ourselves up (holiday home time share, solar panels, sell our home and completely redecorate MIL'S larger home to move in to, electric car, savings for both DC). Combining the electric car with the savings from solar panels and the fact that we'd have no mortgage, we should just be able to live on DH's wage, however we would have to pay for nursery for youngest DC out of savings until she was 3 as we'd lose the free hours entitlement as I wouldn't be working.

I was thinking of quitting work next year when eldest DC starts school, and potentially never working in a particularly career minded way again. I could work casually in my current field, picking up occasional work once or twice a month with no difficulty and it would keep me up to date with current practices and training should I change my mind.

It would be a tight squeeze (we would still be able to save each month but less than currently), and if we had another CoL crisis or similar I'd have to return to work, but there would no immediate hurry because of the savings we'd have. DH is public sector, very safe job and final salary pension. I would be a few years shy of a full state pension but I'm only mid-thirties so would have time to pay in once DC are bigger.

AIBU to think this could work?

OP posts:
Izzymoon · 31/08/2024 21:59

Does your DH’s income comfortably cover the bills? Your phrasing makes it sound like it’s just about, even though you have no mortgage.

Stay at home parent set ups work for many families, however if I was your DH I would probably feel slightly miffed that it’s his money from his parents passing that’s being used to fund you having 2 full free days to yourself in the week while he continues to work FT.

Frowningprovidence · 31/08/2024 21:57

Well if DH is happy then it doesn't sound too bad an idea, especially if you can pick up little bits to keep skills up.

I don't like to mention divorce but I think sometimes inheritance is sort of kept outside marital assets that are split. You might need to get advice on this. I dint know law at all but I think its about how mingled finances are.

Original poster
Eviolle · 31/08/2024 21:57

Sixpence39 · 31/08/2024 21:54

Also I'd only be a sahm if you have a pot of your own savings that arent shared with DH. You still need a bit of financial independence in case shit hits the fan - you never know when you might need it sadly.

I have separate savings and any casual work I did would go entirely to my spend or savings. 👍🏻👍🏻

OP posts:
GOODCAT · 31/08/2024 21:54

What does your husband think? Can you both go part time or both retire early? That doesn't sound like enough to provide you with a private pension and makes it generally tight later on.

I ask because if I were in your husband's position, I wouldn't be on board with this. That is because it seems unfair that he has to work for another 30 years whereas once your kids are both at school, you will have far more free time.

Sixpence39 · 31/08/2024 21:54

Also I'd only be a sahm if you have a pot of your own savings that arent shared with DH. You still need a bit of financial independence in case shit hits the fan - you never know when you might need it sadly.

Original poster
Eviolle · 31/08/2024 21:53

Sixpence39 · 31/08/2024 21:51

I would totally do this if I had the money! You can always get a job later but you can never get your time back with your kids! Just make sure DH pays into a private pension for you while youre not employed. State pension wont be enough. There's a max you can pay in per year if not employed so check the details!

We have family in finance who have advised this too, it's quite a small amount you can pay in per year so we would be able to manage it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eviolle · 31/08/2024 21:52

Frowningprovidence · 31/08/2024 21:48

Does your DH enjoy his job and want to keep working? Would he not be interested in dropping a day and you keeping a day or two at work.

He enjoys his job a lot and he's very good at it. He wants to keep working; I did ask if he'd like to drop a day or take a career break, but he said no, for his full time hours he only works 3 days a week anyway. Also, his wage is much higher than mine.

OP posts:
Sixpence39 · 31/08/2024 21:51

I would totally do this if I had the money! You can always get a job later but you can never get your time back with your kids! Just make sure DH pays into a private pension for you while youre not employed. State pension wont be enough. There's a max you can pay in per year if not employed so check the details!

Original poster
Eviolle · 31/08/2024 21:48

Mandylovescandy · 31/08/2024 21:45

You will get NI if you claim child benefit (even if you have to pay it back) so that sorts your state pension. How about other pension? If you think you can afford it and can easily get back into work if you change your mind then I don't see why not. Why would need to pay for nursery though if you are a SAHM? Surely that somewhat defeats the point?

Yes, sorry, would be just shy of a full pension even with child benefit NI payments. I have a work based public sector pension, but would not be much to write home about.

Re: Nursery, we'd be putting DC in to nursery at the start of next year because I have to go back to work so I don't have to pay my maternity leave back, and then we'd like her to keep her place for social interaction/development until she turned 3 rather than taking her out at 18m and putting her back in again. It would also mean that I would have two days a week to do housework uninterrupted which would be a huge benefit and help!

OP posts:
Frowningprovidence · 31/08/2024 21:48

Does your DH enjoy his job and want to keep working? Would he not be interested in dropping a day and you keeping a day or two at work.

Mandylovescandy · 31/08/2024 21:45

You will get NI if you claim child benefit (even if you have to pay it back) so that sorts your state pension. How about other pension? If you think you can afford it and can easily get back into work if you change your mind then I don't see why not. Why would need to pay for nursery though if you are a SAHM? Surely that somewhat defeats the point?

Original poster
Eviolle · 31/08/2024 21:44

TemuSpecialBuy · 31/08/2024 21:40

It depends on if the savings are 10k or 250k but broadly it sounds fine.

My view would be if you were really strapped and needed a good amount of £ you could take a small mortgage out over a longish term on your new home.
So you could borrow 50k and actually use some of that to pay the mortgage and some to ease things financially in the short to mid term.

Savings would be 6 figures, we don't know precisely but approximately between £150-£220k.

OP posts:
TemuSpecialBuy · 31/08/2024 21:40

It depends on if the savings are 10k or 250k but broadly it sounds fine.

My view would be if you were really strapped and needed a good amount of £ you could take a small mortgage out over a longish term on your new home.
So you could borrow 50k and actually use some of that to pay the mortgage and some to ease things financially in the short to mid term.