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Original poster

To think this is too early for a house guest to get up?

404 replies

morningbbrew · 31/08/2024 20:59

My husband's sister and her husband are staying over for the weekend. They don't have children we have two young teens but they are both at friends this weekend.

DBIL has just gone to bed and cheerily announced as he did that he would be going out for a run at 6.00am and would bring a key (they have a spare as they house sit sometimes). Plus he casually mentioned something about making a smoothie beforehand so it actually sounds like he's getting up at more like 5.30am.

Neither DH or I are confrontational and so we both just sort of sat there shocked. But I am just not sure what to say. Our house isn't tiny but equally I am pretty sure all his getting ready etc is going to mean we wake up. And weekend lie ins are rare with two kids and associated activities!

I mean I guess he could be joking but he's not really that kind of person. His wife (DH sister) is normally quite sensible and she didn't seem at all embarrassed about it which is making me worry we are the weird ones for being a bit horrified!

OP posts:
Original poster
morningbbrew · 31/08/2024 22:34

ICanBuyMyselfFlowersICanWriteMyNameInTheSand · 31/08/2024 22:32

Neither DH or I are confrontational and so we both just sort of sat there shocked.

Oh come on it's not confrontational to say..."well actually we are looking forward to our very rare chance of a lie in, so please don't wake us up before 9am, I'm sure your smoothie and run can wait until after that"

Edited

That's fine but we are all different and also he didn't really give us a chance to reply so it would have meant following him up the stairs to call him out in it. And like I said, it took me a while to process that he really had said that.

I am glad so many people are good at putting down boundaries but we all have different life experiences and different brains that make it easier for some people than others.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 31/08/2024 22:33

I find it strange when a house guest tells you their morning plan, without asking.

So do I, and even stranger that the host doesn't reply with "By all means, go for a run, but please make your smoothie now and put it in the fridge, and leave the house quietly in the morning. We need our sleep"

I don't understand why families can't communicate with each other. This isn't being confrontational. It is merely a polite request.

@morningbbrew I agree that you need to hide the smoothie maker, but you do need to leave a note because he will slam cupboard doors or even come and wake you up looking for it.

Surely if you hear the blender all you will do is thing 'rather him than me' then drift back to sleep? It's not like he's using a pneumatic drill.

@ForPearlViper a lot of people can't get back to sleep that easily. DH can't. He really wouldn't appreciate being woken up early if he can't get back to sleep.

And I hate it when people thud around our streets early

You must be a very light sleeper @Drinkandthink

Original poster
morningbbrew · 31/08/2024 22:32

Bellatrixpure · 31/08/2024 22:31

Getting up for a run no problem, and hope he brought one of those innocent smoothies with him

Not BIL when he makes a smoothie its like watching a science experiment in action Grin

OP posts:
ICanBuyMyselfFlowersICanWriteMyNameInTheSand · 31/08/2024 22:32

Neither DH or I are confrontational and so we both just sort of sat there shocked.

Oh come on it's not confrontational to say..."well actually we are looking forward to our very rare chance of a lie in, so please don't wake us up before 9am, I'm sure your smoothie and run can wait until after that"

FawnFrenchieMum · 31/08/2024 22:32

Following for an update of what he does in the morning!

Original poster
morningbbrew · 31/08/2024 22:31

Toepickle · 31/08/2024 22:25

Don’t bother with the “polite notice”
Talk to him about it tonight so you all know where you stand and any uncertainty is gone.
You’ll be able to sleep better and he won’t get a shock in the morning to find the blender is not there.

Proper communication is best.

Show quote history

He's already gone to bed, he went up before 9. I was too stunned when h said it to say anything and i'm hardly going to shake him awake!
I agree that if he had mentioned this at lunch time I would have had time to process it and have a conversation, but he sort of mentioned it as he was strolling out of the room to go to bed

Anyway, I had better go to bed soon in case we are woken early.

OP posts:
Bellatrixpure · 31/08/2024 22:31

Getting up for a run no problem, and hope he brought one of those innocent smoothies with him

Cattyisbatty · 31/08/2024 22:30

He should make the smoothie tonight and go out quietly!!

AngryBookworm · 31/08/2024 22:29

Team hide the blender. Or strategically remove a key part and plead ignorance. I'm sure he can slum it with juice or water for just this run.

Cheesyfootballs01 · 31/08/2024 22:28

Just hide the blender? If he says anything just say it broke a while ago and you didn’t bother replacing it.

If he said that he wanted to make a smoothie before his run just laugh and say ‘ good job it is broken then because if you woke us up @ 5.30am making a smoothie it would have been the last time you visited! ‘

Gcsunnyside23 · 31/08/2024 22:25

Hide that blender. Is your sil still up? I'd tell her to wake him and let him know no blender or early shower

Toepickle · 31/08/2024 22:25

morningbbrew · 31/08/2024 21:40

Yeah, I think that's what I'm going to do, a polite note about the smoothie but say he's welcome to drink juice from the fridge or whatever. Am also going to ask he doesn't shower before 7 as the bathroom is right next to our room and honestly we're both shattered and DH is bordering on burnout at the moment due to work and other pressures

Show quote history

Don’t bother with the “polite notice”
Talk to him about it tonight so you all know where you stand and any uncertainty is gone.
You’ll be able to sleep better and he won’t get a shock in the morning to find the blender is not there.

Proper communication is best.

TrivialProblem · 31/08/2024 22:23

If you hide the blender, he’ll crash about looking for it and wake you all anyway.

Isometimeswonder · 31/08/2024 22:22

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 31/08/2024 22:17

Ugh, he can’t relax with the supplements for a day or two? Why can’t he just eat the damn fruit quietly rather than having to make a smoothie. Sounds insufferable.

Show quote history

Totally agree. What a knob.

Drinkandthink · 31/08/2024 22:20

It sounds as if he has forgotten he is a guest this time as they have house sat for you previously.

A 6am run is annoying - front door opening and closing would wake me up. And I hate it when people thud around our streets early - wasn't there a thread once on a runner who thumped past someone's house repeatedly early every day?

But anyway. Definitely no to the blender and shower too.

I might go downstairs and sit quietly on my phone if I woke early (but I wouldn't know tbh, I sleep in!) But I would wait to start making coffee and smoothies until my hosts were up.

Toddlerteaplease · 31/08/2024 22:19

My parents set their alarm for 6.30
When they stay at mine. Then don't bother to get up. I put a stop to that! My house is tiny, so it woke me too!

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 31/08/2024 22:19

Agree that slipping out quietly for a run at 6 is fine. Making a smoothie at 5.30 is not. I’m on team ‘hide the blender and say it’s broken, but he’s welcome to eat some fruit before his run’

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 31/08/2024 22:17

morningbbrew · 31/08/2024 22:15

Re the ingredients - he's brought loads of stuff with him,.I didn't really bat an eyelid as he's very health obsessed so is making his own meals (I mean ours are perfectly healthy - and DH is a really good cook- but BIL is very particular about what he eats so brings lots of different supplements and bits like that)

Ugh, he can’t relax with the supplements for a day or two? Why can’t he just eat the damn fruit quietly rather than having to make a smoothie. Sounds insufferable.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/08/2024 22:16

I would take the blender to bed with you, @morningbbrew! And put an Out of Order sign on the shower.

I hope he doesn’t wake you up at sparrowfart tomorrow.

MissPeachyKeen · 31/08/2024 22:16

He can (and should) make the smoothie the night before and then tiptoe directly between bed & front door, through which he quietly & carefully leaves for his run.

CharlieDickens · 31/08/2024 22:16

He's not unreasonable. He's a grown man and if he wants to go for a run that's up to him. It's not right to be blending though. That would really annoy me.

Original poster
morningbbrew · 31/08/2024 22:15

Re the ingredients - he's brought loads of stuff with him,.I didn't really bat an eyelid as he's very health obsessed so is making his own meals (I mean ours are perfectly healthy - and DH is a really good cook- but BIL is very particular about what he eats so brings lots of different supplements and bits like that)

OP posts:
GoldPlayer · 31/08/2024 22:15

Yes don't be using a nutri bullet at 530am!

katepilar · 31/08/2024 22:13

I would ask how he is planning to make the smoothie. Perhaps it does not involve a blender? And if it does then say something.

Springlambchops · 31/08/2024 22:12

A blender at 5.30am wouldn’t wake me up, I must be weird. My DH gets up 5 am 6 days a week and I never hear a thing!