Partner hates me

In all honesty op it’s really difficult to see how much of this is you and how much of it is him. Monitoring what he looks at on his phone and even tv is abusive. Him commenting on your body when he knows you have such self hatred is also abusive. Your relationship is toxic and you need to get out for the sake of your children and focus on your own mental health.

This.

You need to prioritize your children. You are subjecting them to an extremely toxic and permanently damaging environment. Every single day.

Stop obsessing over what he thinks and says. You must focus on the children you chose to create. This is SO unfair to them.

If you were to split, and you kept the kids the majority of the time, it is most likely that you would get the tenancy and he would not.

How to loss a 'fat bum' in 7 days...

Pack all his clothes up, tell him he's a fat headed tossed, then kick him out.

I think YABU to stay with a man who treats you like this. You’re also role modelling this disfunction to the kids.

Again, this is not about you. How you perceive a size 18 and how OP does depends on a lot of factors, including her own self-worth and confidence.

👏 exactly 16 is Average! and she's jealous that somebody else might take this utter prince and he insulted by him lol.

came out room ready to go out when he said have you got something of cover up with you've got a front pouch

This is all very toxic. The poor kids listening to this.

He doesn't sound great but honestly you have a victim mentality.

Dump him then?

Go and see your GP. I used to have awful self esteem. I worked out why I felt that way and then I worked on improving myself. I'm also on Sertraline which stopped this inner voices.

I've also lost weight by changing my eating habits, I have digestive issues zndneed to avoid certain foods.

He's a total cunt. Leave him, permanently, and reclaim your life. Wishing you all the best for a happy life away from that CUNT.

https://www.ncdv.org.uk/

These people will arrange a free restraining order against him for your protection. Make sure it contains powers of arrest so the police can do something if he breaks it.

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

https://refuge.org.uk/

Are two excellent charities that will help support you to rid him from your life and provide lots of advice.

Your GP can also sign post you to local support.

Make sure you check out these pages in particular because I think you'll find them helpful in seeing exactly the abuse you've been living with:
https://refuge.org.uk/what-is-domestic-abuse/about-domestic-abuse/

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/recognising-domestic-abuse/

Also, not that it's a actually relevant but you say you're a size 18?

The average size for women in the UK is 16, so you're just above average.

Just a little perspective for you.

I'll dig out some links I saw on another thread to help support you getting rid of him.

You deserve wonderful things, @Whatwear , and are worth the world.

Like f*ck does he have anxiety. He's a bully, a lazy, vicious one and he is abusing you.

@Whatwear does he call you an ugly fat bitch when he's nasty to you?

I would bet good money that the negative way you talk about stems directly from what he says to you, about you.

And I suspect your "jealousy" is nothing more than a normal response to partner who does nothing but put you down, undermine and disrespect you.

Keep going with the therapy. Of course your self-esteem will be through the floor, but also make plans to kick him because your self-esteem will only start to recover once you're free him.

OP, if you're in a council house presumably this is to house yourself and your children? He doesn't need to be there.

Can you get in touch with Women's Aid to have a chat to somebody about what your options might be? I think you should do that, speak to somebody who can give you good advice based on your circumstances.

Once you know what your options are then you can start to make a plan as to what you'll do next. This man isn't good to you and he has no business being in the house when he's causing you this anguish, it's not good for your children to witness this either.

Women's Aid are very good, look them up and give them a call.

It sounds like you're in an extremely toxic relationship - and, kindly - as you've admitted, from both sides. You're aware of your insecurities and it sounds like you're trying to work on them, but he also needs to consider the impact his words and actions have on you. You may feel there's no way out as things stand, but I'm sure you'll get through this - stick with your therapy, try to find a job that fits in with your childcare needs, and then leave. You've done brilliantly losing the weight you've lost and if you want to carry on for you, that's great - but don't do it for him. If you do split, focus on rebuilding your life and conquer the voice in you that says you aren't enough - I'm sure you are.

But I'd of only commented once at this stage I'm being quoted and replying 🤷‍♀️

So if he hates you why are you still together?

Evidently, love, you could as you repeatedly try and make the OP feel even worse.

But size 18 is big. I’m also currently a size 18. I know you’re determined to make this thread about you but can you not see the OP is in pain?

OP, your weight doesn’t define you. If you want to lose the weight then in time you will. It’s not easy, I know. As others have said, is your partner actually saying these things or are you putting the words into his mouth? You can be big and still look lovely. I’m certain you’re none of the things you use to describe yourself.