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AIBU?

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MIL buying absolute tat for the children - AIBU to throw it away?

65 replies

AutumnPlease101 · 31/08/2024 16:23

MIL is well renowned for buying absolute tat for the children, she has no clue what they actually like so ends up just buying them whatever, even after I’ve told her to stop.

For example, one of my children has additional needs and really hates writing or holding a pen/pencil etc, but she repeatedly buys colouring books/writing pads even after I’ve told her how much it stresses him out and to buy him sticker books instead - something he enjoys and will actually use (and no she’s not buying it to be helpful or try and teach him how to write etc).

We have also moved house and have literally no storage space and the children’s new rooms are 1/3 of the size they used to be - we just don’t have space for all the crap she keeps buying. She keeps on saying that she wants to buy them things, so I’ve suggested things that will actually be helpful such as sensory toys or things like that, but she still keeps buying all this other stuff instead.

AIBU to just throw it all away now, especially since I’ve told her so many times and she’s not stopped?

OP posts:
TammyJones · 31/08/2024 16:40

My mil learned early on not to buy my kids tat.
I was know by dh as the charity shop queen.
I didn't care (it's my way of giving back).
She was definitely quantity over quantity.
We had Christmas for the family at ours once - I decided it would be good for the kids to all open grandma's..,,,.. my kids got decent stuff but other 3 cousins just got a mountain of crap.
No one noticed - they were just tearing paper off , dumping the present , and on time next.
Dad used ti call it hover fodder.

Op give it time school - they'll use it.

Celticliving · 31/08/2024 16:39

AutumnPlease101 · 31/08/2024 16:33

We don’t have anyone to regift it to, a lot of the charity shops have closed down local to us and I don’t have the space to store it to sell etc - we live in an elderly population area, I don’t know how popular a kids toy yard sale would be. I’ve also mentioned to her about savings etc, she just said oh I can’t resist actually buying stuff. She lives in a one bedroom flat so no space to keep it there either.

Is there a local food bank that might take it?

Or buy a couple of shoe boxes and keep adding to that; there are always lots of Christmas shoe box appeals.

Frowningprovidence · 31/08/2024 16:39

If they are school age the school might take colouring books off your hands, especially if they have a breakfast or afterschool club.

You are indeed OK to move stuff you don't have anyplace to store on.

I think grandparents like to be associated with a small treat, and a thing if sweets has gone out of favour for obvious reasons. But you really need to say her 'can't resist' treat is making your child feel crap as its thing they can't do and they are starting to associate a crap feeling with her.

We had to get an aunt to stop buying books for pur child who can't read this way.

LittleBitAlexisLaLaLaLaLa · 31/08/2024 16:33

Get rid of the stuff they really won’t use- regift it, donate it, whatever. I’ve been doing that for years with my kids and stuff I knew just by looking at it, they’d never use/wear/play with. It was always the same “well meaning” people who gave them the unwanted stuff and who complained the children didn’t seem over the moon with the gift. I would politely and kindly explain why that was and they’d be miffed and do it all over again. Their money they’re wasting 🤷‍♀️

AutumnPlease101 · 31/08/2024 16:33

We don’t have anyone to regift it to, a lot of the charity shops have closed down local to us and I don’t have the space to store it to sell etc - we live in an elderly population area, I don’t know how popular a kids toy yard sale would be. I’ve also mentioned to her about savings etc, she just said oh I can’t resist actually buying stuff. She lives in a one bedroom flat so no space to keep it there either.

OP posts:
RaspberryWhirls · 31/08/2024 16:31

Donate to the charity shop if you don't have time to sell or regift.

anareen · 31/08/2024 16:31

Can the items she buys stay at her house?

KitchenFloor · 31/08/2024 16:30

Could your OH not have the conversation instead of you?

onwardandupwards · 31/08/2024 16:30

I use olio a lot to give away un needed items as there's usually someone who can use them.

Wigtopia · 31/08/2024 16:29

Throwing it away is unreasonable. Regift or take to the charity shop

Fortesque · 31/08/2024 16:29

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Ponoka7 · 31/08/2024 16:28

Definitely don't keep it. Invent a friend and keep telling MIL how grateful she was for the stuff she bought. It's about her and not the children.

Unicorntastic · 31/08/2024 16:28

Regift or sell if possible, could the kids do a yard sale for example?

Neveranynamesleft · 31/08/2024 16:28

Could you suggest that now you've moved house and really have no storage space for any more stuff at all then maybe she could put whatever she was going to spend into a savings account or premium bonds instead ?

ReadingInTheRain583 · 31/08/2024 16:25

Regift what you can. Colouring books and pencils and things could be useful for kids birthday party presents if you have kids that age?

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