MIL buying absolute tat for the children - AIBU to throw it away?

you nod and smile and say thanks a mil. then it goes straight in a Box. Once Bix fairly full or if full allready put up on Facebook free to good home page. if not food banks charities that collect nurseries. speak to your kids schools could be children they knwo are struggling n would appreciate it.

My mil was exactly the same and most of it was tat. We live around 50 miles away and sil lives close so she’d just buy my son whatever the cousins were into and most of the time it was stuff he’d never play with.
For the rubbish stuff I used to give away to charity or on a local free Facebook group.
For the more expensive stuff I used to tell my son to smile, say thank you nicely and not take it out the packaging. We’d then put it on eBay and I’d let him have the money. Luckily we lived so far away that she never knew.
She bought such random things! One year for Christmas she got him a fish tank and all the set up for tropical fish! He had never shown any interest!
Luckily now he’s older he gets a voucher!

My MIL used to do the same! Every weekend at the car boot and turn up with a bag full of stuff. In the end I bagged stuff back up and took it there and said she could keep some there as we didn’t have space and kids could play with it there. Her face was not always impressed but I said I have no space or kids were not playing with it and may prefer to use it there when they aren’t playing with their other toys. Other stuff I put in the charity shop.

Hang your head in shame if you actually mean bin it.

Take it to a charity shop, re-gift, list on marketplace for free, put the paper on the compost heap or use in party bags.

Not your problem she doesn’t have space at her house. Everytime she comes with something, tell her she has to take it back and keep it at hers, that you have no space. If she complains she has not space, tell her she shouldn’t have bought it then, you asked her to stop. Don’t take it just this once. Stand firm

YWNBU to donate it, but YABU to throw it in the bin. There just has to be a place to donate it. I know it's extra work for you and it's annoying bit honestly, nearly everyone has at least one relative that can be guaranteed to get it wrong.

I used to have a couple that would send either things we already had, things they had no interest in and/or total crap.

Could be a good Idea to Ask MIL to keep it at hers, and say it’s so She has supplies for the children . Then She Will experience first hand What they like/Don’t like.

Or Are there play groups , Church groups or parent/child groups You could donate to ? I’m sure they would be very appreciative.

Can you put it on a Facebook marketplace group MIL belongs to? Every single time…

”unused, my children don’t like this stuff. Free to anyone who would.”

Ask MiL to keep the tat / lovely thoughtful gifts at her house for when the children visit.

If she doesn't listen to that message then either say .....

........no thanks we already have one of those, or

........take the tat without a word and immediately regift/charity box/school fete/dump it depending on how bad it is.

Put it in food bank/similar donation point at supermarket maybe? Or FB marketplace, items for free.

Just hand it her back or say keep it your house.
Give the rest to a charity shop
Absolutely do not throw it away for it end up in landfill or burnt.

I sympathise though with the tat buying MIL. Ours buys them packets & packets of cheap sweets they don’t like, that sit in the cupboard for ages before being binned. Always ooodles of cheap shite no one wants so she can turn up with her arms full after spending about a fiver 🙄

Why does OP always seem to be in the arse end of no where and any sensible, logical advice they get given is shot down with some logistical horror. I’m sure there is a charity shop local enough to you or yes, donate them to the kids school. 🙄

DH told his mum that whenever she felt the need to buy something, either ask us first or put the money in a savings account for her instead.

She buys tat too. And regularly big ticket items that we would have kept for birthday/Christmas. And then buys multiple types of them. It's madness.

I echo PP's suggestion of telling her any gifts must be kept at her house. I don't see why you should have to go to the effort of regifting, donating or finding somewhere to take the unwanted/unsuitable gifts. She's deliberately ignoring what would suit your children and buying something else instead, so take it she's messing with you. She'll stop buying crap once she realises she'll have to deal with it herself.

My mother does this. I now tell her that the gifts need to stay at her house because we don’t have enough room. Thankfully, as a result, my dad has stepped in and it’s not as bad as it was.

There's a selection here OP:

The Salvation Army
The Salvation Army runs an annual Christmas Present Appeal to provide toys and gifts for children in need. They have collection points in various locations where you can donate new, unwrapped toys and gifts, which are distributed to families who need them. We do this every year – if you can’t afford to buy a gift, then simply donating gifts your own children haven’t used is fab too, just make sure the items are unused.
The Salvation Army have a helpful list of presents you can give:
0-3 years: dolls, teddy bears, cot mobiles, baby clothes, bath toys, CDs of suitable music and nursery rhymes, puzzles
3-5 years: cars, lorries, DVDs and CDs (music and nursery rhymes), colouring sets, pencils, crayons, books, puzzles, dolls and action figures
5-9: CDs & family friendly DVDs, books, puzzles, wordsearch, crosswords, educational games & toys and stationery
9-12: DVDs, books, t-shirts, hair accessories, gloves, scarves, hats, games and toys
13-16: make-up and toiletries (please try to ensure non-allergic ingredients if possible), books, gloves, scarves, hats, t-shirts, hair accessories and gift vouchers
For more information, and to find a local place to donate, check their website.

Barnardo’s
There are a few ways to help out Barnardo’s this Christmas – donate your pre-loved items to their charity shops to raise funds, volunteer your time, or send a cash donation through their website to contribute to their Christmas Toy Appeal to support disadvantaged children. Check their website for information on how to get involved.

Local Food Banks
Many local food banks, charities and community kitchens offer Christmas gift programs for families in need, so keep your eyes peeled to help out those in your local area. These programs often provide toys and gifts, as well as much needed food and essential supplies, to families over the Christmas period. See what’s running in your local area, and make use of supermarket collection areas when you’re doing your weekly shop.

Kids Out
Kids Out, working alongside Women’s Aid and other charities, help children who have had to leave their homes and stay in a refuge due to domestic abuse – often leaving everything they own behind. It’s super simple to help out – you can donate a toy to the Giving Tree via the Kids Out website. Choose from a pre-selected list, pay online and the charity will make sure that your gift is delivered to a child in need this Christmas.

Christmas Toy Drives
Keep an eye out for local Christmas toy drives – often organised by community groups, churches, children’s centres, businesses and hospitals. These events collect cash donations or children’s toys to distribute to families in your area. You could even go the extra mile, and help out as a volunteer too. Local social media groups are great place to see what’s going on – and are the perfect place to spread the word too!

Operation Christmas Child
Run by the charity Samaritan’s Purse, Operation Christmas Child asks people to fill shoeboxes with gifts for children, which are then sent all over the world. While it’s an international program, it’s also active in the UK. Since 1993, they’ve delivered gifts to a staggering 209 million children in over 170 countries – children who otherwise wouldn’t receive any presents at Christmas. But, get organised if you want to help, gifts are usually sent by early/mid-November – visit their website to find out more.

Family Action
Family Action go the extra mile to support families with the winter necessities, as well as making sure that children have a gift to wake up to on Christmas morning. They’re offering families in need practical and emotional support through food clubs, financial grants, FamilyLine, and their Christmas Toy Appeal. It’s super quick and easy to donate to their cause through their website.

I think the only way she will realise you mean what you say is to return the stuff back to her every time and see how she likes it clogging up her space.
Re-gifting or donating is fine but it won't solve your (her) problem of the buying of the stuff in the first place. It's just an extra hassle for you to have to deal with it.

MIL does the same, it all goes on our local freecycle and is usually gone within the day.

Wow no charity shops where do you live are high streets only have charity shops?

If the toys remain unopened you can donate them to a women's refuge, a children's home, a hospital children's ward...lots of places other than charity shops. Soon there will be organisations collecting for unprivileged children for Christmas, or those who are in hospital over Christmas. Supermarkets and other shops will have trollies for toy donations. The writing stuff could be donated to nurseries or schools, groups like scouts or girl guides. Loads of options which will benefit someone rather than adding them to landfill.

As for your MIL going forward, your OH needs to have a talk with her about this. Suggest she gives vouchers or money instead, or pay for a day out for the kids. Let him sort it.

Lots of charities will collect OP. Some put bags through the door.

Can you collate a wish list on Amazon for example and send it to her. Ask her to buy from the list.

The Salvation Army and other organisations do Christmas boxes for children. There are also appeals for gifts to donate abroad. You could try a foodbank or a domestic abuse organisation, they sometimes do children's gifts.

Sometimes the tip has a section where you can leave stuff for donation. Please don't just throw it away and let it end up on a landfill without anyone ever even using it. Go to the next town to drop it off at a charity shop if you don't have any near you.

Try angelo door stop collection or just bin them if you don’t have the time.

It's not about your children
It's all about them / mil / grandparents- it's their gratification, but I think you know that.