Not removing sunglasses - unreasonable?

I think I can understand, in how seeing somebody's eyes gives you a personal contact, an acknowledgement.
Eyes show personality etc.
Surely others can see that's not always possible though?!
You don't get the right to see somebody's eyes to make you feel better.
I had an eye infection a couple of weeks back in the middle of a heatwave, and couldn't leave the house without sunglasses on.
The bright sunlight was just too painful.
Lifting them for just a couple of seconds to say "hi" to someone would have hurt too much,!

I have lupus, one of the effects of having this is the way my eyes react to sunlight. They hurt & I get bright spots when I blink. So I wear sunglasses when I'm out. Sometimes I have to put them on when I'm hanging out the washing. So yeah, you're being very judgy

What do people expect to 'see' in someones eyes that will make them relax and deem them a good person that their words and actions don't let you know?

The only thing seeing eyes might tell you is their eye colour.

Historically there was a whole thing about this, it was used in historic criminology. The thought that people could be judged on looks (oh they have 'shifty eyes = up to no good' when a person in reality just had narrow eyes, drooped eyes or a squint etc...). It also way completely thrown out in modern criminology as it was found to be wildly racist, classiest and ablest.

Strangers eyes will not tell you anything useful about them as people.

I wear tinted prescription glasses so even on a cold, wet, miserable day you still would not be able to see my eyes properly. I could take them off but my eyes would be squint shut (due to the sensitivity I have when it comes to any form of light, hence tinted lenses that react in sunlight), so you wouldn't be able to see them anyway. I would apologise but as far as I'm concerned my comfort trumps your need for "etiquette".

I wear prescription shades in bright light but I do feel that it's polite to remove them when I meet someone. I feel that they sort of hide my face. However, I don't take them off for long periods in the sunshine. It would have been nice if the sister could have taken them off briefly when they first met.

Non-prescription sun glasses can be whipped off elegantly with one hand and i may or may not have done that in the past, I really cant remember. If I did it would have been for my own convenienceas I've never heard of the supposed etiquette.

Prescription glasses need to be handled more carefully, opticians recommend using both hands, then adjusted again when you put them back on especially when you are wearing hearing aids like me. I'm not doing all that for anyone. Never have and never will.

Bright sunlight is a huge migraine trigger for me. So yeah, I might ‘be polite’ for 10 seconds but there’s a strong likelihood I’d then have to excuse myself from the social event after half an hour to go and lie down in a darkened room for 24 hours.

Taking them off for a few seconds is all I need to do to give myself a cracking headache.

Taking them off for a few seconds to say hello is all anyone needs to do to be polite.

Making eye contact when meeting someone is a way of connecting with them, and, on a really primal level, of reassuring that you mean no harm, that is why it’s considered good manners.

This makes sense and isn’t going to change. If you want to make a good impression - make eye contact. I know it excludes some people and there needs to be more awareness of why that might be - but eye contact is such a fundamental human need, this expectation is not going to go away.

yes! the glare off the clouds on a bright but overcast day is PAINFUL.

I always say there is a difference between manners and etiquette. manners are things like saying please and thank you. pardon me after you burp, holding doors for the person behind you etc. etiquette is an excuse to get offended by people breaking imaginary "rules" that don't actually matter, like holding their knife and fork in opposite hands, or pretending someone is better and more important than you because of who their parents are.

Macular degeneration runs in my family. The opticians tell me to always wear sunglasses in sunlight. I have prescription varifocal sunglasses, which they tell me, are still useful for driving in the winter sun.

I am not risking macular degeneration because of someone else’s wants.

It is a rule of etiquette that you make eye contact when in greeting.

Says who?

Don’t shoot me, I didn’t make the rules up, I just know that it is.

But people like you did make up the rules. And you made them up deliberately to exclude, belittle and demonise people who aren't exactly the same as you, to the extent that they don't know your arbitrary rules.

Excluding, ostracising, talking and behaving disparagingly to people is bad manners. So if anyone does that they don’t have good manners, even if they think they do.

Tell the OP that.

I have prescription sunglasses as well as clear and on sunny days wear the former as my optician said I should protect my eyes from bright light as much as possible as I’m getting on. It did used to seem weird to wear them indoors but as many have said if they are prescription and you go indoors like to a shop you have to read and you forget they are sunglasses. Times change. I don’t think they are seen as hiding as much now or that you are blind , though both still possible. It can feel as though you are being screened out but I very much doubt it. You can always say if it bothers you ‘ they are lovely sunglasses.’ They might just need reminding. And then if you are determined ask if you can have a look at them and hold out your hand. 🤭

If that's all you have to be bothered about then I envy you. How rude of her to wear her sunglasses, sitting outside in the sun so you couldn't see her eyes. You sound very weird.

It's foggy and overcast and I'm wearing mine!

If it’s sunny ☀️ or bright and I’m outside in the sun I need sunglasses 😎
The optician tells me my eyes are fine , healthy but I am sun sensitive.
My sunglasses are prescription as I need them for distance vision
I might , just might take mine off for a few seconds to say hello to you but that’s it

If someone thinks you can trust someone because of "what you see in their eyes" , well that's a good enough reason not to take etiquette lessons from you !

She sounds like my not so DS. She told me off once, when not removing my sunglasses to speak to someone for 5 mins in Australia.

...and that's one of the reasons autistic folk have been mocked and vilified for centuries.

Yay for etiquette, eh? Obviously a virtue that must be continued.

My prescription glasses are reactive and go dark when it's sunny. I don't take them off ever as I can't see without them.

But just how bad is your impaired vision? I've often heard -6 be described as a strong prescription - as someone who is -13, it really isn't! I can not see without my glasses - but with them my vision is completely corrected - I can drive etc. But I am also very careful to not cause any further damage to my eyes by not wearing sunglasses when appropriate, I don't don't want worse vision still.

I spent my school days being mocked for my glasses, not being allowed to wear them for PE etc., shame that they never worked out that not seeing the ball was why I couldn't catch it - by the time I saw it I was flinching away before it hit me.

I couldn't go swimming on my own until I was an adult and bought prescription goggles - I couldn't see a footbath you had to walk through, signs about depth etc.

Upon the first sight test I would have had to pay for, the optician told me not to worry, I would never have to pay for a sight test as 'your eyes are so bad that in the old terms you'd be considered a danger to the public without glasses.' And now apparently I'm rude and don't understand etiquette because I don't remove them in public.

Without them I am effectively disabled, with them you wouldn't have a clue (I always pay a fortune to get them super thinned - without this I wouldn't be able to blink because my eyelashes would be right up against the lenses).

Thanks for making me feel really rubbish!

Or, alternatively, someone having a problem with the presence of sunglasses reveals to the wearer that this is somebody who focuses too much on superficial trivialities and lacks empathy (ie the ability to put themselves in others' shoes and imagine there are reasons for their actions), and thus is probably not worth spending too much time on or with.