To feel I wasted the 6 weeks holiday

Just to add to my previous post, apparently the best part of summer was our trip to Beamish for the day and our night in a Premier Inn afterwards.
So that was a day and a half away and then two days out. Out of 6 whole weeks and DC is very happy!

Go easier on yourself OP.

OP, I have a life limiting, chronic illness which leaves me laid down all day every 3/4 days. Sometimes much more than that, sometimes it's multiple days in a row. I'm also a single parent so whilst we have had some days out, more of the holidays have been spent with me laid down on the sofa and my DC playing Minecraft most of the day (we have a few games we've invented which enable to stay laid down whilst still playing, so I always make sure we play for a while each day and that DC has screen breaks. But ultimately we've been stuck inside wayyyyy more than we've been out. I just asked DC for a verdict on how the summer holidays went and was told "Amaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzing!!!" was the response.... 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’ve been TTO now for over 20 years and can’t remember a single meaningful thing I’ve ever done or accomplished in those 6 weeks, other than relax. My kids, now grown adults don’t remember anything we ever did with them either!

Family life and love is as much about the shit times, the sad times, the boring times and the ill times as the beaches and fun fairs.

How about planning something fun for October half term?

Honestly the most simple things are the memories your kids will remember…. go for a walk maybe a cake in a cafe, play in the garden with them, crafts at the table, movie afternoon with popcorn/snacks.

I grew up in the 80s and early 90s. We were skint, didn’t have many holidays, rarely had food out /days out maybe a chippy more often and as we got older mac donald’s was the big big treat.

Our 6 week holidays would have been at home, i have amazing memories of time in the garden in paddling pools, water fights, playing, on our bikes in the streets. Going to relatives or them coming to us. Seeing friends and going out and about as i got older with £1 bus saver and £1 for Greggs.

One of my friends kids are out and about every weeksend and some evenings doing this and that, They are bought the world by their family, always eating out etc. Amazing holidays. Loss of days out, It’s great that they can do that but they never have time at home to just relax and play with all the bloody toys they been bought.

My point is we still alll have memories my memories are very simple things but i things i loved to do. It didn’t matter that we didn’t have meals out or holidays all the time. I still enjoyed my childhood. It doesn’t have to be on the go all the time.

@Dreamcatchergirl

Not just you. Our holidays as a kid were mostly at home for six weeks. Every other year we would get a week in a caravan if the previous year had been ok financially. We'd end up at aunts or grandparents and would make our own entertainment. I have fond memories of my mum teaching me how to play chess and finally beating my great grandad at draughts. Then there was the one year I got heatstroke playing at my aunt's. There was never the expectation we would go to a zoo or soft play or whatever. As a result I haven't done anything big with our kids this year. Free parks, our nation trust membership and crafts at home have featured heavily.

It's common to feel like this. People feel the pressure to give their kids loads of exciting experiences etc but the kids are happy with the simple stuff and little memories. What you see on soical media is just snippets of people's lives. What dd10 has enjoyed most is playing with her friends. They'd pop to the shop and then hang out in the garden making up dance routines etc. We've had a handful of plans but the rest of the time has just been go with the flow.

This is the equivalent of feeling fed up / low on Sunday night because you don’t want to go to work or school on Monday except it’s six weeks’ worth rather than just a weekend. You had a nice relaxing summer til illness struck - that is just fine!

Nb if it is Covid then antibiotics aren’t going to do much!

I do have a friend who took her kids away 3 or 4 times this holiday and by the 3rd week at a caravan park or in a Devon cottage, can't remember which, the photos of the kids holding an ice cream while standing next to things did look a bit pained.

You can't help that you're sick and I think you're being way too hard on yourself.

I work full year so not same situation but due to this, DS has done loads of football club. Because of this, on my days off he's had loads of downtime, which includes a lot of screen time and errands with me etc. He's not even that bothered about play dates other than with extended family. Admittedly he's had some decent days out with DH and other family, but I doubt anyone will ask him about them when he gets back to school. And if anyone asks him if he went away anywhere we went to a very unexotic destination in UK but I really don't think others will care.

My Mum was a SAHP. I know we would have seen friends for very standard play dates locally but for the most part I just remember sitting in my PJs happily watching Saved by the Bell, with maybe one proper theme park trip in the 6 weeks as a treat and a Mcdonalds at the end. I have a fond feeling when I think about it now, and it hasn't done me any harm!

Don't worry about the facebook lot- they're only sharing the best of their lives, this could be a brief 5 minutes in another wise crappy holiday. Everyone posts "Kids having fun in the pool #blessed" but they all forget to post:

• Dave and I had a massive row all the way to the hotel because I think I saw him glance at air stewards tits.
• The minute we walked into the hotel room one of the kids did a huge poo and the whole place is gonna stink of it for 3 days.
• Surprise! No-one will eat anything from the all-inclusive buffet so it's off to McDonalds, fan-flipping-fabulous!

Agree with this.

Outings are nice but racing around "making memories" is so contrived. Nothing wrong with a nice laid-back summer.

If you're feeling well enough; cinema, trampoline park, zoo, mini golf?
If not, lounge picnic with treat food and a movie marathon? Garden day with paddling pool, obstacle course, chalk drawings on the pavement/fence?

I don’t know where all this pressure for performative holidays comes from

a holiday is a break from the routine

you had that

maybe take them swimming if you feel up to it

but really it is fine

Sorry, meant to say the Disney trip was a few years ago as kids are older now.
We haven't been away this holiday so lots of lie-ins and lazy days here too

Honestly it's so fine

Please do not worry about the kids, they will remember playing with their friends a lot. And parents letting them have screen time which they probably loved too (if they're like my kids).
We took kids to Disney and my youngest favourite things was the bloody pigeons wandering in the park in Animal Kingdom! And the thing the thought was funniest was grandad jumping in the pool with all his clothes on and that we let them jump in with their PJs on.

I have deleted fb for this reason. Couldn't stand people building up the relatively normal things they do as if it was the most amazing memory building event ever. Baking cupcakes, walk in the park... Wow look at us!!!!!!

We've had a low key summer. We've done trips to seaside towns. The kids most enjoyed picking blackberries locally. I was off work these last two weeks and really needed to recharge so we did.

I'm planning some weekends in September and hopefully a holiday in October half term.
Life is what you make it OP. If sickness comes, you have to alter plans. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just know you can make the most of future days 😉

You're not well enough to go out with kids in tow, and it sounds like DH got sick last so neither is he. Treat it as a day of rest but get organised what you can for Weds.

Honestly they're off again in under 6 weeks and it's for 10 days here!

Even if you'd been on a different adventure every week, they'd still remember very little of it. When my dc were younger, we spent the summer going to museums and libraries and castles and everywhere to get stamps for a free ticket to see the moon - a big event in town where a huge model of the moon was hanging from the ceiling in the old market hall. We also did things like star gazing in a dark skies area to try and see the constellations we'd seen at this moon thing. What do they actually remember? The time it rained so heavily on our way to the hospital to collect some medication that we couldn't see out of the window and the wipers were going mad and we had to drive really slowly.

Your dc well remember that you were there, they were loved and safe, and nothing bad happened. That is what is important.

OP you are being hard on yourself. Go online and book some weekend activities for the family over the next month so you will have something to look forward to.

Sickness can't be planned for - and also doing very little and facing a little boredom can be genuinely good for kids

Side note - not sure if anyone else agrees but suddenly it’s become the new thing to take your kids to the zoo, theme park, on holiday or on days out every day? I’m early 30’s now but pretty sure myself and my friends never did all that on the 6 weeks off. Would maybe be a week or two holiday and the rest just play dates and making up games with our friends like kirbseys or whatever it’s called haha.

I think social media puts a lot of guilt on parents these days, seems like everyone is out with their child constantly.

Honestly don't worry, you'll be surprised by your child's take on it all.

Mine were meant to have a holiday at the in-laws but had to come back after a few days due to sickness. What do they say was the best time this six week holiday? The day we did three new parks in one day. Yes seriously three free council run parks that we've not been to before within a three mile radius. I asked them this week what they wanted to do. Did they say zoo or cinema? Nope wanted to go to the NT ten minutes down the road that we've done a million times this year.