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Original poster

To think pregnancy ruined your body?

268 replies

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:26

I am on a few other topics at the moment and there seems to be a sentiment that pregnancy ruins your body- especially if you a geriatric mum.

i had my daughter late, i was 38. I loved being pregnant I felt very sexy and my poor husband was the knackered one during those 9 months. I have never looked better than when pregnant.

I had an elective c section and no pain, no issues and a few weeks later I was back in my normal jeans. 10 days post partum I got many comments that I couldn’t have just had a baby. I swam regularly when I was pregnant as the water felt good supporting my belly and I ate super healthy.

So I came through the other side fitter, healthier and with bigger boobs and I do not feel that pregnancy, birth and motherhood ruined my body, my life or my energy.

I understand this is not the case for everyone but be nice to hear some pregnancy positivity. Or maybe I am just a smug delusional so and so 😂

So am I being unreasonable to celebrate what pregnancy can do for you? When I told people I was pregnant I would have to hear so many horror stories about incontinence and stretch marks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:18

superplumb · 31/08/2024 08:14

I was the same after my 1st despite an emergency section.
Then u had my 2nd by elective and nope, ruined me. Something happens when you have a 2nd or 3rd I think. My friends all say the same.
My muscles never went back despite all the exercise weight is harder to shift. The tired face never goes away.

Yes I think this might be the secret. I did stop at 1 😀

OP posts:
Nsky62 · 31/08/2024 08:18

Izzymoon · 31/08/2024 07:45

I had severe morning sickness, was hospitalised, passed out in public several times and couldn’t start gaining any weight until over 25 weeks … but I need to speak more positively about that?

Show quote history

You were unlucky, and it must have horrible , I never had any morning sickness, just uncomfortable toward the end.
Expectations are dangerous things at times, your experience is just that

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:17

TwinklyAmberOrca · 31/08/2024 08:07

From a distance you wouldn't see a difference as my belly is flat but close up if I push my belly skin inwards you can see it has been over stretched.

I don't really care. I had twins so got very stretched! That's life!

After my first baby my belly was back to normal after 2 weeks.

@Poppins21 I'm thinking you've only had 1 baby?!?!?

Yes just 1 baby

OP posts:
Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:15

SecondFavouriteDinosaur · 31/08/2024 07:58

To those who are feeling rubbish after reading this post… it’s totally normal not to bounce back after pregnancy, your body goes through huge changes. And that’s ok. It’s not a failing on your part 💐

I never said it was a failing, in my opening post I said I was aware this was not everyone experience.

i was just thinking it might be nice to have heard positive stories when pregnant. Many of the stories are more related to poor maternity services rather than pregnancy itself.

And I got some not nice comments when my daughter was newborn as I had “bounced back.”

OP posts:
superplumb · 31/08/2024 08:14

I was the same after my 1st despite an emergency section.
Then u had my 2nd by elective and nope, ruined me. Something happens when you have a 2nd or 3rd I think. My friends all say the same.
My muscles never went back despite all the exercise weight is harder to shift. The tired face never goes away.

Nuggetnuggety · 31/08/2024 08:11

The one I didn’t want was for my feet to grow. I can disguise my stomach but the thought of losing my shoe collection 😱. Thankfully I’m the same shoe size.

Cobblersorchard · 31/08/2024 08:11

I was 41, no stretch marks, vaginal birth with no damage, breastfed for 26 months. Bigger boobs afterwards but otherwise looked just the same.

My body wasn’t ruined by pregnancy- but the menopause has fucked it!

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:11

Strugglebus86 · 31/08/2024 08:00

Externally my body looks similar to before pregnancy, I bounced back according to any one that looked at me...
Internally I have birth injuries and things I'll deal with for life. Luckily all manageable currently, some after an op, but be careful how you judge others.

Pregnancy hates me though so I look like shit during that 😂

Thanks. I have not judged anyone nor say anything to anyone pregnant nor anyone struggling to lose post pregnancy weight.

I was lucky with pregnancy and birth - you just never really hear those stories.

OP posts:
Nuggetnuggety · 31/08/2024 08:09

Stretch marks are often hormonal, hence why teenagers often get them. Older mums are less likely to get them due to less collagen or something.

With dc1 I got a few on my bikini line in the first trimester despite no bump, didn’t get anymore.

partiallydeflatedbutoptimistic · 31/08/2024 08:09

You have the three ticks though

  1. easy pregnancy
  2. uncomplicated birth
  3. one child

Course it was bloody easy and you bounced back 😂

Nottodaythankyou123 · 31/08/2024 08:08

I loved being pregnant both times and was so confident in my body. After my first pregnancy I bounced back, but after my second it’s all gone to shit 😂 3 years of broken sleep (6-10 wake ups virtually every single night), poor diet choices that come with relentless sleep deprivation, no energy to exercise, saggy boobs from breastfeeding and my body is unrecognisable and I’ve honestly never hated it more. I’m glad that’s not the case for everyone though because it’s a bit shit!
oh yeah and my pelvic floor is not great 😅

Lovelysummerdays · 31/08/2024 08:08

I was ok after my first pregnancy. Twins did me in, stress incontinence, ebf twins and my boobs haven’t recovered. I got divorced after they were born so was really unsupported and propped myself up (like many mums) with sugar and caffiene. Result is I’m a bit overweight with slightly saggy boobs and I pee myself, just a little, when I sneeze. I don’t think I’m very uncommon.

It’s lovely that you’ve bounced back. I think the more times you are pregnant the higher the likelihood is that you won’t bounce back. I do think money/ support is important here too. If you were to have another child who is watching the first while you swim/ exercise etc.

Baneofmyexistence · 31/08/2024 08:08

I agree with others that after one I was back almost to usual size within a few weeks. Second pregnancy was twins and that has indeed ruined me!

TwinklyAmberOrca · 31/08/2024 08:07

From a distance you wouldn't see a difference as my belly is flat but close up if I push my belly skin inwards you can see it has been over stretched.

I don't really care. I had twins so got very stretched! That's life!

After my first baby my belly was back to normal after 2 weeks.

@Poppins21 I'm thinking you've only had 1 baby?!?!?

Wonderwall23 · 31/08/2024 08:07

I only had one...don't know if that makes a difference. 10 years on now.

I'm still the same dress size. Hips slightly wider but in a good way. Without clothes on the bit under my tummy is slightly less toned but not that noticeable to anyone but me. My bits seem OK! No stretch marks. My friends are mostly the same.

In my 40s now and have put a little bit of weight on...I assume due to age...but am probably happier with my body than I've ever been...boobs also a bit bigger. Makes up for all the teen years when I hated my skinny body! I'm probably average on diet and exercise but am fitter now than pre-pregnancy. I didn't 'eat for two' because I didn't have the urge to.

I think it's mostly luck/genetics. I found the first few months after birth incredibly tough from a sleep deprivation perspective and there's no way I would have spent any time trying to get in shape at that point had I not returned to 'normal'.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:06

Izzymoon · 31/08/2024 07:45

I had severe morning sickness, was hospitalised, passed out in public several times and couldn’t start gaining any weight until over 25 weeks … but I need to speak more positively about that?

Show quote history

but if someone says they are pregnant do you tell them about your morning sickness unprompted?

OP posts:
Lemonadeand · 31/08/2024 08:06

I think there is a big genetic element to this. My mum, sister and I all toned back up again and dropped back to our pre-pregnancy weights
with relative ease.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:05

SecondFavouriteDinosaur · 31/08/2024 07:45

Maybe I was lucky but no one told me I’d look awful after pregnancy, or that it would ruin my body. Or maybe they did and I just didn’t pay any attention, I don’t know. It wasn’t an issue I experienced anyway.

It was more random strangers making comments rather than friends or family.

OP posts:
babyproblems · 31/08/2024 08:04

so far now I’m back to 60kgs after 2 years so have ‘recovered’ to some degree but am considering surgery for a breast reduction!

5128gap · 31/08/2024 08:04

It's down to body shape (pears/hour glasses do 'better' because the natural waist can take a bit of thickening and still be there) skin elasticity, so if you're young and/or have thicker oiler skin youll get fewer stretch marks ; how little weight you gain and crucially, if you lose it, and how strong your core is. I also think its seen through a subjective lens influenced by your preferences. If you want a larger bust and that's what you're left with, you'll be happy. If you don't like that you'll see it as part of the 'ruin'. Not everyone hates stretch marks. Some people are pleased to have wider hips etc. Also your expectations. If you expect your body to be ruined you're likely to be happier than people who expect to be exactly the same. This obviously applies only to the superficial things. Some women's bodies are very much harmed medically by pregnancy and childbirth.

SecondFavouriteDinosaur · 31/08/2024 08:04

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:02

I do not think it ruined me. But I was in several threads today and several people used the phrase “ruined my body”

I was just wondering if this was the majority feeling.

I was not being smug nor making a moral judgement. I just would have liked positive stories when pregnant.

Show quote history

But not everyone does experience it positively. A lot of people’s bodies change hugely. My feet went up a size, for example. It doesn’t mean that they’re any worse at being pregnant than you.

babyproblems · 31/08/2024 08:03

I think many of you here are lucky - I’ve had one and feel like it’s destroyed my body! I won’t have another one I don’t think. I was 35 at time of the first. No stretch marks but I put on an insane amount of weight. Went from 56kgs to 88. And D cup to H cup. Never again! Literally found the weight part traumatic.

EveryDayisFriday · 31/08/2024 08:03

No, I've always been a size 16-18 and had stretchmarks in my teens. I had my kids at 27 and 31 so didn't affect my body at all really. I didn't put a lot of weight on during pregnancy due to not drinking anymore.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:02

Pinkturtles · 31/08/2024 07:10

I’m confused by your thread title as clearly you don’t think pregnancy ruined your body?

I don’t have stretch marks but I used to run 40+ miles per week before getting pregnant then had to stop completely due to bleeding then PGP so my body now is very different. As pp said the main difference is I don’t care so much now as I would have done pre-pregnancy!

I do not think it ruined me. But I was in several threads today and several people used the phrase “ruined my body”

I was just wondering if this was the majority feeling.

I was not being smug nor making a moral judgement. I just would have liked positive stories when pregnant.

OP posts:
Iceache · 31/08/2024 08:01

I sailed through my first pregnancy and bounced back afterwards; my second nearly destroyed me 🤣 Took me until my younger child was 5 to get back to ‘normal’ and even now, 8 years later, my hips are still not what they were. You’d never know I’d had children though really - no stretch marks and I’m the same weight I was before I had them. I think that’s a combination of being active but also genetic luck!