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Original poster

To think pregnancy ruined your body?

268 replies

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:26

I am on a few other topics at the moment and there seems to be a sentiment that pregnancy ruins your body- especially if you a geriatric mum.

i had my daughter late, i was 38. I loved being pregnant I felt very sexy and my poor husband was the knackered one during those 9 months. I have never looked better than when pregnant.

I had an elective c section and no pain, no issues and a few weeks later I was back in my normal jeans. 10 days post partum I got many comments that I couldn’t have just had a baby. I swam regularly when I was pregnant as the water felt good supporting my belly and I ate super healthy.

So I came through the other side fitter, healthier and with bigger boobs and I do not feel that pregnancy, birth and motherhood ruined my body, my life or my energy.

I understand this is not the case for everyone but be nice to hear some pregnancy positivity. Or maybe I am just a smug delusional so and so 😂

So am I being unreasonable to celebrate what pregnancy can do for you? When I told people I was pregnant I would have to hear so many horror stories about incontinence and stretch marks.

OP posts:
ChallahPlaiter · 31/08/2024 08:52

Flipsock · 31/08/2024 08:31

Why is everyone saying it goes wrong after the second? That didn’t happen for me. I went back to normal again. I think it’s probably just that women don’t have as much time to exercise or look after themselves second time round. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s the fourth that does it…

Didimum · 31/08/2024 08:52

Cinai · 31/08/2024 08:50

OP, I’m happy to read a positive post like this! I’m expecting my baby in 2 weeks so I don’t know yet what will happen in my case, but all the negative stories get me down, it’s nice to hear something positive! I went through pregnancy expecting the worst, and I was lucky to have an easy pregnancy, in hindsight I shouldn’t have read so many negative stories about pregnancy because it just made me fear too many ‘what ifs’ that never materialised for me.

Your body won’t be ruined no matter what the consequences of birth or pregnancy. It’s undergone an amazing feat and you should be extremely proud of it.

ThreeTescoBags · 31/08/2024 08:51

It would be disingenuous of me to credit pregnancy with something that was largely the work of beer and crisps.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:51

Didimum · 31/08/2024 08:49

Many women aren’t in control of whether they get stretch marks, loose skin, retain weight, have inconvenience or other birth injuries after pregnancy – a big factor is genetics and then their birth experience.

I honestly don’t see the point in pumping up a ‘my body wasn’t ruined, I bounced right back!’ narrative in the name of ‘positivity’.

What’s positive and needed is to spread the mindset that your body isn’t ruined even if you experience the consequences above.

How awful (and quite misogynistic) to insinuate that a body be ‘ruined’ anyway. This post perpetuates that so I think you can do better if you’re attempting to do a service to women, OP.

I agree with you, my body changed I would never use the word ruined.

but I saw it on several threads told and I feel it was a sad word to use about your body after having a baby.

I know that’s easy for me to say as I had positive experience of both pregnancy and birth.

OP posts:
Cinai · 31/08/2024 08:50

OP, I’m happy to read a positive post like this! I’m expecting my baby in 2 weeks so I don’t know yet what will happen in my case, but all the negative stories get me down, it’s nice to hear something positive! I went through pregnancy expecting the worst, and I was lucky to have an easy pregnancy, in hindsight I shouldn’t have read so many negative stories about pregnancy because it just made me fear too many ‘what ifs’ that never materialised for me.

OneKookyPinkShaker · 31/08/2024 08:49

I only heard stuff about bouncing back. I was incredibly active before pregnancy and kept up with gym and swimming as much as I could in pregnancy despite terrible morning sickness.

However, I was told I had prolapse at my 6 week check up. Nobody talks about this before hand - no mention in pregnancy books I read or antenatal classes I attended. So I do feel pregnancy ruined my body. I'm only 4 months pp so aware I have a while to go but it's impacted huge areas of my life and had a big impact mentally.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:49

partiallydeflatedbutoptimistic · 31/08/2024 08:09

You have the three ticks though

  1. easy pregnancy
  2. uncomplicated birth
  3. one child

Course it was bloody easy and you bounced back 😂

Fair enough 😂

OP posts:
Didimum · 31/08/2024 08:49

Many women aren’t in control of whether they get stretch marks, loose skin, retain weight, have inconvenience or other birth injuries after pregnancy – a big factor is genetics and then their birth experience.

I honestly don’t see the point in pumping up a ‘my body wasn’t ruined, I bounced right back!’ narrative in the name of ‘positivity’.

What’s positive and needed is to spread the mindset that your body isn’t ruined even if you experience the consequences above.

How awful (and quite misogynistic) to insinuate that a body be ‘ruined’ anyway. This post perpetuates that so I think you can do better if you’re attempting to do a service to women, OP.

Chocoholicnightmare · 31/08/2024 08:48

The day after having my second, I looked like I did before ever having children. I had always been quite slim, but it was unexpected. Breastfeeding and running after a toddler made me even slimmer and I never had time to sit down for a proper meal! My DCs are teenagers now and I go to the gym/ don't eat excessively and am the same weight I was before I had children. I feel very lucky because most of it must be genetic.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 31/08/2024 08:48

Yep just had my second and second c section

been back doing Pilates 5 days a week since the baby was 6 weeks old

back in own clothes fast too

having my first kid made me really get my shit together and managed to study part time while working full time and get a massive promotion at work

I went to the gym exert single lunch break without fail too! Never did that pre kids

so yeah never been more productive or fit in my life since my kids

Lupina12 · 31/08/2024 08:48

PortiasBiscuit · 31/08/2024 06:46

Out bodies are designed to be used, not just looked at.
On a very basic level pregnancy is what your body is for. How can something be destroyed by doing what it is designed for.?

Christ, the ignorance!

Do you know that people are different, and experience pregnancy differently!

I am so so happy for the women that breeze through it, and their stories are as valid as anyones.

I had a very painful pregnancy, nearly died in childbirth, and was left with many physical disabilities afterwards.

100 years ago I would not be here, full stop (thank you science!)

Milkmani8 · 31/08/2024 08:46

@Poppins21 Don’t get me wrong, I have never really given out my birth story to friends who hadn’t asked how it went. Held back details from some friends who were already pregnant. But clearly when they knew I was in hospital for two months and the treatment I now undergo they knew something went drastically wrong. My advice to them was to not feel you can’t ask for a CS just because you’re having a healthy pregnancy and to make sure you switch hospitals if you’re not happy with the care. I wish I could have had your experience, my life would be so different.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:46

Lovelysummerdays · 31/08/2024 08:08

I was ok after my first pregnancy. Twins did me in, stress incontinence, ebf twins and my boobs haven’t recovered. I got divorced after they were born so was really unsupported and propped myself up (like many mums) with sugar and caffiene. Result is I’m a bit overweight with slightly saggy boobs and I pee myself, just a little, when I sneeze. I don’t think I’m very uncommon.

It’s lovely that you’ve bounced back. I think the more times you are pregnant the higher the likelihood is that you won’t bounce back. I do think money/ support is important here too. If you were to have another child who is watching the first while you swim/ exercise etc.

I just had 1 so was not an issue.

But I agree money and support would be an issue with more children.

OP posts:
MotherOfCrocodiles · 31/08/2024 08:46

Yeah, sticking to one DC was the secret of your success there. People having their second DC don't spend the whole pregnancy at ante natal yoga and cooking "super healthy" meals for themselves- different beast entirely

Chocolateorange22 · 31/08/2024 08:45

Couldn't tell after my first. Then had a gigantic 10lb baby and he's left quite a few stretch marks. Then cancer came along and did a hell of a lot more damage. Honestly I couldn't care less now, it's my body and nothing can change it. I work out and can begin to see changes that I've never had before and that makes me feel a little better.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:44

Nottodaythankyou123 · 31/08/2024 08:08

I loved being pregnant both times and was so confident in my body. After my first pregnancy I bounced back, but after my second it’s all gone to shit 😂 3 years of broken sleep (6-10 wake ups virtually every single night), poor diet choices that come with relentless sleep deprivation, no energy to exercise, saggy boobs from breastfeeding and my body is unrecognisable and I’ve honestly never hated it more. I’m glad that’s not the case for everyone though because it’s a bit shit!
oh yeah and my pelvic floor is not great 😅

Edited

I did have a certain confidence in my body when pregnant it’s difficult to explain.

OP posts:
ALunchbox · 31/08/2024 08:43

It certainly had an impact on my pelvic floor!

I lost the weight easily while breastfeeding but put on weight after stopping. Or perhaps that coincided with the perimenopause!

Squidlette · 31/08/2024 08:43

I only got stretch marks after the second, but I'm lucky that they're barely there and low down on my stomach. I quite like them though.

My boobs went. Well, they're still there, but they lost the fullness. I stayed slim, but never quite lost some of the padding on my hips. I was slimmer on mat leave with dd2 than in my 20s, because I walked for miles everyday with one in a sling and one in a pushchair, just for something to do.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:42

Milkmani8 · 31/08/2024 08:38

@Poppins21 i still have to undergo investigatory blood work once every three months because it causes fainting episodes and severe migraines- it’s been two years, they can’t find the issue and I have a blood transfusion every three months. Mental health is still not great, I take anti-depressants now and struggle with insomnia. I never had any health or mental health issues before pregnancy/birth. Everyday I’m grateful to be alive and grateful my son is here, I love being a mum there is nothing better. Your story sounds like a dream and I wish it could have been mine. Clearly you understand that your dream birth experience and body snapping back isn’t everyones. But claiming to hear horror stories before which are women’s real life experiences is quite demeaning. If I’d heard more horror stories then maybe I would have insisted on a planned CS. But I was repeatedly told I would be fine, bigger babies are easier to birth etc. But the reality is I almost lost my life listening to medical professionals who I thought knew best.

Sorry about your experiences. Again this issue seems to be under funded maternity services were women are not listened too.

I am not demeaning other women’s stories but when I was happy I was pregnant unsolicited stories from people about how bad things will be seems unfair. I was happy to hear from friends and family and took advice from them and my amazing OBGYB (who had many children and looked fit and well).

OP posts:
violetcuriosity · 31/08/2024 08:40

After my first I snapped back even better than before. After my second, c-section birth 10 years older in my mid 30s things are definitely different. No stretch marks, just weight is harder to lose, small paunch the the bottom of my stomach, bigger and saggier tits and just generally a bit thicker around the middle. I think it's a combo of the pregnancy, the c-section and just being older.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:38

KurtShirty · 31/08/2024 08:36

I wasn’t saying you are one of those wankers, quite the opposite!

Show quote history

I know. I was saying I don’t like them either 😀

OP posts:
Milkmani8 · 31/08/2024 08:38

@Poppins21 i still have to undergo investigatory blood work once every three months because it causes fainting episodes and severe migraines- it’s been two years, they can’t find the issue and I have a blood transfusion every three months. Mental health is still not great, I take anti-depressants now and struggle with insomnia. I never had any health or mental health issues before pregnancy/birth. Everyday I’m grateful to be alive and grateful my son is here, I love being a mum there is nothing better. Your story sounds like a dream and I wish it could have been mine. Clearly you understand that your dream birth experience and body snapping back isn’t everyones. But claiming to hear horror stories before which are women’s real life experiences is quite demeaning. If I’d heard more horror stories then maybe I would have insisted on a planned CS. But I was repeatedly told I would be fine, bigger babies are easier to birth etc. But the reality is I almost lost my life listening to medical professionals who I thought knew best.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:37

Beachfront · 31/08/2024 08:29

I also didn't feel that pregnancy ruined my body. But I am out of shape these days and part of the reason for that is my lifestyle (looking after small children with very little support network). It didn't kick in till recently though.

But yanbu about the pregnancy part. I had a vb and then an elcs and recovered great from both. The vb was slightly better in terms of my body, but my dc wasn't well afterwards due to shoulder dystocia

Way harder to look after yourself once the baby is born.

OP posts:
Nottodaythankyou123 · 31/08/2024 08:37

Flipsock · 31/08/2024 08:31

Why is everyone saying it goes wrong after the second? That didn’t happen for me. I went back to normal again. I think it’s probably just that women don’t have as much time to exercise or look after themselves second time round. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think that’s probably it - I was 26 with my first and 28 with my second and fuck me I look awful but I think that’s due to poor diet choices as I’m so tired and no energy to exercise

KurtShirty · 31/08/2024 08:36

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:29

My goodness I was not on instagram saying look at me. It would just have been nice to hear a balance of stories that’s all.

And it feels sad the word ruined is used so much about pregnancy.

Show quote history

I wasn’t saying you are one of those wankers, quite the opposite!