Page 2 | To think pregnancy ruined your body?

Poppins21 · 2024-08-31T05:26:54+00:00

I am on a few other topics at the moment and there seems to be a sentiment that pregnancy ruins your body- especially if you a geriatric mum. i had my daughter late, i was 38. I loved being pregnant I felt very sexy and my poor husband was the knackered one during those 9 months. I have never looked better than when pregnant. I had an elective c section and no pain, no issues and a few weeks later I was back in my normal jeans. 10 days post partum I got many comments that I couldn’t have just had a baby. I swam regularly when I was pregnant as the water felt good supporting my belly and I ate super healthy. So I came through the other side fitter, healthier and with bigger boobs and I do not feel that pregnancy, birth and motherhood ruined my body, my life or my energy. I understand this is not the case for everyone but be nice to hear some pregnancy positivity. Or maybe I am just a smug delusional so and so 😂 So am I being unreasonable to celebrate what pregnancy can do for you? When I told people I was pregnant I would have to hear so many horror stories about incontinence and stretch marks.

Pickledprawn · 31/08/2024 09:44

Congratulations on winning the genetic lottery 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 are you also one of those parents who has an easy baby that sleeps through the night and credits it 100% to their wonderful parenting?

MarathonofLife · 31/08/2024 09:42

Pregnancy didn't ruin my body, it made me feel like a goddess 🙌🏼

Silverfoxlady · 31/08/2024 09:33

For me it depended on how many children I had. For the first and second children my body bounced right back - barely a stretch mark in sight. After this, with children 3 and 4 and now especially 5, my stomach looks like elephant hide with so many stretch marks!

But i really don’t care what others think - I will no cry over the lack of bikini body. I have a ‘mom bod’ and my other half compliments me with his ‘dad bod’. 😊

Fluufer · 31/08/2024 09:33

My 3rd did the damage. Difficult pregnancy, gained lots of weight. Saggier boobs, more belly. But I still think I look good. I'm a curvy size 12, and fairly fit. I don't feel any need to "bounce back", I'm a mother of 3 and I'm allowed to look like it. I had my 1st at 21 anyway, so no hope of bouncing back to that 😂
Don't refer to other mothers bodies as "ruined" though. It's great that you "bounced back" and recovered so well, but not everyone does and you need be mindful of your language. Bodies often change in pregnancy, they are different, not "ruined".

Original poster

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 09:32

rmc2001 · 31/08/2024 09:27

Honestly this post is super helpful. It makes me so anxious reading all the pregnancy/birth horror stories and because you never hear stories like yours you just assume everyone has an awful experience. So good to hear that it won’t necessarily be terrible.

Good luck with your pregnancy and I hope you have an experience like mine.

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Suzuran · 31/08/2024 09:32

PortiasBiscuit · 31/08/2024 06:46

Out bodies are designed to be used, not just looked at.
On a very basic level pregnancy is what your body is for. How can something be destroyed by doing what it is designed for.?

Capable of, not designed for. Big distinction.

Original poster

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 09:30

I am leaving the thread now. Thanks for everyone’s input and I should imagine the poll with be I am being unreasonable but great to hear different to views to mine.

i did not make the post to make anyone feel bad so please accept my apologises if it did.

But it seems like if NHS was properly funded and provided better care to all mums and babies many more people would have had positive experiences. I had my baby in UK but lived in Scandinavia for almost 10 years and birth stories are much more positive.

I have moved to another country, yesterday so we interesting to see if any differences there.

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Frowningprovidence · 31/08/2024 09:28

I think my boob's look better to a casual observer and I did fit back in my jeans

But I have a permanent health issue caused by birth that was not preventable by eating well and swimming (I did both).

I appreciate you were talking about having more energy not just looks, but I find a lot of the bouncing back is quite a negative thing as you dont really get a choice over thing like stretchmarks, breast changes etc.

rmc2001 · 31/08/2024 09:27

Honestly this post is super helpful. It makes me so anxious reading all the pregnancy/birth horror stories and because you never hear stories like yours you just assume everyone has an awful experience. So good to hear that it won’t necessarily be terrible.

Original poster

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 09:25

CeruleanBelt · 31/08/2024 08:55

You did use the word ruined, it's in your thread title.

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I would never use it in talking about my body.

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Original poster

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 09:24

MotherOfCrocodiles · 31/08/2024 08:46

Yeah, sticking to one DC was the secret of your success there. People having their second DC don't spend the whole pregnancy at ante natal yoga and cooking "super healthy" meals for themselves- different beast entirely

Yes 1 seems to be the secret.

needs to way more support for people with young families.

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CookieWaffle · 31/08/2024 09:23

I definitely didn't hear enough stories about how my body might be different after birth. I was surprised by a few things that popped up. And when you go to discuss them with any professional they just nod and move on and there you don't feel you are being listened to or able to discuss it with anyone who understands. I got the feeling that once the baby was born everyone was like "Our job here is done" and my body just felt like a mess. I couldn't sit for 6 weeks with my first, nobody cared. I would have loved to have had all the facts early on instead of being left wondering why I felt so broken.

Original poster

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 09:22

Rory17384949 · 31/08/2024 09:19

Well done you 👏

Being pregnant gave me PGP that's never fully gone away. My youngest is 9 and I still have pain. So yes I do have permanent damage.
So i couldn't actually exercise during pregnancy apart from a bit of yoga.

Apart from that I have a few extra stretch marks and a numb area around my bellybutton! That happened with my second baby because she was quite big.

You might not have meant it that way but your post does come across as smug tbh, you need to be aware that some pregnancy "permanent damage" is beyond the woman's control!

I know it beyond women’s control and often down to the poor quality care they receive which I think is awful.

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Original poster

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 09:21

velvetcoat · 31/08/2024 09:14

I absolutely hated being pregnant- both times. I was huge, couldnt even go upstairs without wheezing and I was very slim prior to getting pregnant.

I'm now back to pre pregnancy weight and apart from the odd stretch mark I dont at all feel my body has been "ruined"- there are actually many long health benefits to having been pregnant and it reduces the risk of various health risks later in life.

I'm very proud of my body for what it's done and my kids are the best thing that has ever happened to me. That said, there should absolutely be more support and help for women who have suffered issues post birth and it should be taken far more seriously by GPs.

Totally agree way more support from women with traumatic birth injuries. I also think many would not happen if maternity services were properly funded.

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TuVuoiFaLamericano · 31/08/2024 09:20

I bounced back after no.1.
The issues I had during the pregnancy disappeared (carpal tunnel, feet problems, high BP).

After no.2 my body is struggling more... I'm hoping when I stop breastfeeding, it'll improve loads but honestly, it's worse this time and I'm accepting I may need some intervention to fix the carpal tunnel this time.

Rory17384949 · 31/08/2024 09:19

Well done you 👏

Being pregnant gave me PGP that's never fully gone away. My youngest is 9 and I still have pain. So yes I do have permanent damage.
So i couldn't actually exercise during pregnancy apart from a bit of yoga.

Apart from that I have a few extra stretch marks and a numb area around my bellybutton! That happened with my second baby because she was quite big.

You might not have meant it that way but your post does come across as smug tbh, you need to be aware that some pregnancy "permanent damage" is beyond the woman's control!

Original poster

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 09:19

Didimum · 31/08/2024 09:05

I think you just need to own the fact that, despite apparently not liking the word and thinking the word is ‘sad’, you have started a post which declares the alternative to being ‘ruined’ is being mad sex drive, having bigger boobs, in size X pair of jeans and no stretch marks. You also described stretch marks as a ‘horror story’.

A horror story is you or or child losing a life. And your post is deeply problematic.

No body is ruined. Full stop.

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Thanks for your comments. I like to hear views different to mine.

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Readmorebooks40 · 31/08/2024 09:17

Second baby ruined my body. Didn't do or eat anything different! 🙈 I guess the more you stretch your skin the less it can bounce back.

Borgonzola · 31/08/2024 09:16

@PortiasBiscuit maybe ask the woman I saw on here a couple of years ago who can't go running like she used to without shitting herself?

@bergamotorange thank you for the sanity injection there

WorriedMama12 · 31/08/2024 09:14

PortiasBiscuit · 31/08/2024 06:46

Out bodies are designed to be used, not just looked at.
On a very basic level pregnancy is what your body is for. How can something be destroyed by doing what it is designed for.?

Of course it can be destroyed by doing what it's meant to do. Historically, many women died doing what their bodies were meant to do.

Personally, I suffered from an umbilical hernia during my pregnancy which was very painful and I had to have surgery for. Still get bother from it.

velvetcoat · 31/08/2024 09:14

I absolutely hated being pregnant- both times. I was huge, couldnt even go upstairs without wheezing and I was very slim prior to getting pregnant.

I'm now back to pre pregnancy weight and apart from the odd stretch mark I dont at all feel my body has been "ruined"- there are actually many long health benefits to having been pregnant and it reduces the risk of various health risks later in life.

I'm very proud of my body for what it's done and my kids are the best thing that has ever happened to me. That said, there should absolutely be more support and help for women who have suffered issues post birth and it should be taken far more seriously by GPs.

Original poster

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 09:12

CeruleanBelt · 31/08/2024 09:06

On the flipside, all i heard was positive stories and euphemisms, twee little jokes about your pelvic floor, essentially- women not talking honestly about pregnancy and childbirth and when my pregnancy and birth went very wrong, i was not at all mentally prepared for it because i simply never believed it could happen to me. But it did. Society has done a great job of painting a rosy picture of getting pregnant, glowing for 9 months, then pushing the baby out without intervention and bouncing back within a few weeks.

A bit more honesty from women around me about how dangerous birth and pregnancy can be would have been very useful because i certainly didn't get it from the medics, even with a high risk pregnancy. After i had given birth, lots of women told me their real stories. Too little, too late.

You had some stress in pregnancy because you thought you might not "bounce back" after you'd given birth because of too much honesty. I ended up with severe ptsd because of too little.

The whole rhetoric about bouncing back is incredibly harmful, the idea that if your body has been long term or permanently affected by something very physical you've somehow failed (subtext: because you're no longer attractive to men).

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I think proper maternity services were women are given time and risks are explained is the best avenue for this.

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thecrossIambearing · 31/08/2024 09:10

@Poppins21

"But I am also aware you do not hear many positives about it and during my pregnancy that balance would have been helpful."

But in what way? You say that you knew what to do and did it so?

Original poster

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 09:10

DammitOedipus · 31/08/2024 09:08

YABU

I have stretch marks and a bit of a belly, but that's a non-issue. Pregnancy can do a hell of a lot more than that though, and just because you were fine after one, doesn't negate other women's experiences.

Two 8+ hour "natural" deliveries with large babies, both ending in ventouse has resulted in my pelvic floor being effectively destroyed. I have a (TMI) vaginal prolapse and now struggle to fully empty my bowels. Sex can be quite painful now, and I'm talking fairly vanilla stuff. I am now prone to yeast infections.

Pregnancy also gifted me with migraines (began in the first trimester when I was constantly vomiting), which have continued to appear post-birth, as well as sciatica (thankfully has gone now). The birth of DS1 was complicated and I was on the verge of needing a transfusion.

Some women's bodies just don't cope well with pregnancy.

Sorry about your experiences and I wasn’t demeaning yours or any other women’s experience.

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Original poster

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 09:09

Frogglingalong · 31/08/2024 09:03

I think, OP, part of the issue is that lots of people actually don't feel the negative impact of pregnancy and birth IS discussed much. Certainly NCT etc never prepared me for the possibility of permanent problems. I even went to the GP 5 days PP and said I thought something was wrong and she laughed at me. You don't get examined at your 6 week check, have to wait months to be referred to a physio or gyno etc etc

Pre baby I was dimly aware you might wee yourself a bit if you laughed, but that was worst case scenario.

Thanks that was not my experience it was only the negative apart from friends, family and my OBGYN

As I said maternity and post partum services need be better funded and women need to be made aware of the risks in an appropriate setting.

Health care providers need to be aware of post pregnancy complications so they are not laughed at like in your case.

I think there needs to be more support for new mums to support them and their health.

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