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Original poster

To think pregnancy ruined your body?

268 replies

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:26

I am on a few other topics at the moment and there seems to be a sentiment that pregnancy ruins your body- especially if you a geriatric mum.

i had my daughter late, i was 38. I loved being pregnant I felt very sexy and my poor husband was the knackered one during those 9 months. I have never looked better than when pregnant.

I had an elective c section and no pain, no issues and a few weeks later I was back in my normal jeans. 10 days post partum I got many comments that I couldn’t have just had a baby. I swam regularly when I was pregnant as the water felt good supporting my belly and I ate super healthy.

So I came through the other side fitter, healthier and with bigger boobs and I do not feel that pregnancy, birth and motherhood ruined my body, my life or my energy.

I understand this is not the case for everyone but be nice to hear some pregnancy positivity. Or maybe I am just a smug delusional so and so 😂

So am I being unreasonable to celebrate what pregnancy can do for you? When I told people I was pregnant I would have to hear so many horror stories about incontinence and stretch marks.

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 31/08/2024 07:07

PortiasBiscuit · 31/08/2024 06:46

Out bodies are designed to be used, not just looked at.
On a very basic level pregnancy is what your body is for. How can something be destroyed by doing what it is designed for.?

Don’t be obtuse

sunsetsandboardwalks · 31/08/2024 07:06

PortiasBiscuit · 31/08/2024 06:46

Out bodies are designed to be used, not just looked at.
On a very basic level pregnancy is what your body is for. How can something be destroyed by doing what it is designed for.?

Very easily Confused

The same way periods can make womens' lives a misery - just because something is natural doesn't mean it's fun and games.

Itsdefinitelytimeforanamechange · 31/08/2024 07:06

Yeah, I felt quite pleased after pregnancy 1 that I basically returned to my pre-pregnancy figure. Cue baby number 2, skin stretched out and back again and of course it’s done a lot more permanent damage, some loose skin on my tummy and tummy permanently feels rounder and just different.

You can’t compare a first pregnancy where you have so much time to yourself, evenings, weeekends, to rest, do gentle exercise, eat well, to doing a pregnancy again with another baby or toddler or older child (and possibly more than 1) to care for 24/7, and take up a lot of your headspace!

PoochOnWheels · 31/08/2024 07:06

PortiasBiscuit · 31/08/2024 06:46

Out bodies are designed to be used, not just looked at.
On a very basic level pregnancy is what your body is for. How can something be destroyed by doing what it is designed for.?

It definitely can! Reproduction favours the offspring, and human childbirth is particularly dangerous to mothers because of the size of our babies' heads compared to other species.

babiesonthecarpet · 31/08/2024 07:05

I’m the same OP, I’ve had two DC and my body “bounced back” each time. I feel like it’s not the sort of thing you’re allowed to say out loud though! I’m still a size 8/10 and I do more exercise now so I actually think I look better than I did before pregnancy.

Having said that, I have noticed that both my rib cage and waist are an inch or two bigger than they used to be. I also have a lot more moles than I ever used to have! But I don’t know if any of this is pregnancy related or just due to getting older.

CeruleanBelt · 31/08/2024 07:05

My body changed a lot but it isn't "ruined". I don't care about my copious amounts of stretch marks - why would i want my body to not show any signs of the life I've lived?

There's more important things in life than how socially acceptable my belly looks.

Izzymoon · 31/08/2024 07:04

So am I being unreasonable to celebrate what pregnancy can do for you?

I don’t really understand your point, pregnancy didn’t do anything for you. You exercised and had a healthy diet more than you did pre pregnancy. That accounts for any positive changes pre pregnancy.

Of course pregnancy doesn’t ruin everyone’s body, I don’t think anyone actually thinks that. Surely most people can visible see that not ever mother gains loads of weight?
However many mothers who go back to their jean size would mostly say their body was visible changed still.

PetrichorSoul · 31/08/2024 07:04

I have one child. Besides stretch marks everything went back to where it should be.

Except my teeth. I had to have extensive dental work and three teeth removed thanks to hyperemesis. I vomited 6-7 times a day for 5 months.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 07:03

WhateverIdo · 31/08/2024 07:01

Lucky you.
I got a rectocele and have to splint my vagina to enable me to pass faeces ....

But yay for you 🙄

Sorry to hear that- I hope things have improved for you?

OP posts:
Franticbutterfly · 31/08/2024 07:01

1 pregnancy and 1 section maybe not. 3 of them when one baby was 10lb 4oz = wrecked. It is what it is though.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 07:01

MidnightPatrol · 31/08/2024 06:58

From the same school of thought as ‘you don’t need to use pain relief during birth so long as you think positively / breathe properly / don’t ’lose control’ / stayed fit enough during pregnancy’

Show quote history

I had a c section and asked for all the drugs possible so the pain free part was certainly manufactured!

i was saying it would have been nice to hear good stories as I was scared to get pregnant and have a baby.

OP posts:
WhateverIdo · 31/08/2024 07:01

Lucky you.
I got a rectocele and have to splint my vagina to enable me to pass faeces ....

But yay for you 🙄

TruffleShuffles · 31/08/2024 07:01

It’s the face you’ve got to worry about. I feel like I went from looking a good few years younger than I was before kids to every single day of my age and then some after.

Devilsmommy · 31/08/2024 07:00

@WonderingWanda sorry meant to quote you

Devilsmommy · 31/08/2024 06:59

think there is nothing more damaging to the mental health of new mothers than other mothers who are convinced they got it all right and by default the mother who is struggling (to come to terms with her weight gain, difficult birth, inability to be, baby who won't sleep, feed a fussy child etc) then feels she has done something

This 100%

Hippomumma · 31/08/2024 06:59

After DC1 at 35, I looked amazing and felt amazing. I was trimmer than before pregnancy and the c section didn’t really affect my body shape.

After DC2 at 36, it was a completely different story. I can’t get rid of a huge mum tum, I’m much wider and feel heavy and unattractive. If one more person asks when I’m due…..

MidnightPatrol · 31/08/2024 06:58

bergamotorange · 31/08/2024 06:45

Everyone is different.

Some people experience no discernible changes, some people find they have life-altering changes. Huge spectrum between those two extremes.

'Positivity' is often judgement and smugness rebranded.

From the same school of thought as ‘you don’t need to use pain relief during birth so long as you think positively / breathe properly / don’t ’lose control’ / stayed fit enough during pregnancy’

RedRobyn2021 · 31/08/2024 06:58

I actually don't think negatively about my body at all especially not when I think about the fact I made an actual person, which is still amazing to me 3 years on

Bunnycat101 · 31/08/2024 06:58

I think the secret there is one child. Most people seem to bounce back better after the first. With my second my insides literally fell out of me a few days post partum when I was lifting the baby in a car seat collecting my eldest from nursery. I found it much harder to exercise with two small children- with the first I was doing buggy fit classes etc during mat leave- didn’t happen with no.2.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:58

WonderingWanda · 31/08/2024 06:49

So smug. I also swam through my 1st pregnancy and did yoga but unfortunately my large baby did lead to stretch marks. My pelvic floor is damaged significantly by his traumatic back to back birth and will undoubtedly need further surgery at some point irrespective of how many keegals or how much exercise I do. Breastfeeding has ruined my breasts, they are droopy now.

You are of course lucky to have escaped unscathed but please stop smugly imagining it's because of your positive mental attitude or how you continued swimming or anything else. This absolute luck is more likely due to genetics both your own which will impact your own skins ability to stretch, the shape of your pelvis and also that of your baby which will impact the babies size and therefore ease of birth.

I think there is nothing more damaging to the mental health of new mothers than other mothers who are convinced they got it all right and by default the mother who is struggling (to come to terms with her weight gain, difficult birth, inability to be, baby who won't sleep, feed a fussy child etc) then feels she has done something wrong.

I did not say I got it all right, I swam because it felt good on my belly and I realised how crappy my eating habits had been before it’s why I cleaned up my diet during it. That was not something I was able to do before.

And I did not go around saying to other new mums - shouldn’t you be back in your jeans yet!

I just said not all pregnancies and births have to be awful and my body changed it was not ruined.

OP posts:
whatsuplittle · 31/08/2024 06:58

@Poppins21 how would it have been helpful to hear a smug person saying pregnancy didn't change their body and they feel the better for it? What would that have achieved when you would have had no idea how it would have affected you or if the birth would have caused you chronic health issues?

You're not a savior doing any good, you're just a smug person, remember Samantha I'm so beautiful Brick, this is you

Meadowfinch · 31/08/2024 06:58

According to my dsis, who has three, most people can cope fine with the first pregnancy, it is the second one that has a much greater impact.

I only have one DC, was back in my jeans on day 10, no stretch marks etc. I bf for 18 months and my boobs were back to normal by about 2.5 years.

I'm 61 now, still a size 10. Still running and feel good.

Howdiditgetsobad · 31/08/2024 06:57

First baby at almost 38 - bounced back body-wise no issues and actually my periods improved dramatically too, so a huge bonus. Second baby at 41, emergency c-section and haven’t managed to shift the last 10lb or so of extra weight and I feel like I’ve aged dramatically although age might have meant that would have happened anyway! Breastfed them both until over 2 years old and only just really got my boobs back to normal now. Lucky to have no stretch marks etc or any issues from my births so I will take that.

RedRobyn2021 · 31/08/2024 06:57

My body is pretty much the same except my tummy has some stretch marks and my tummy looks slightly different.

Pregnant with my second now.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:51

bergamotorange · 31/08/2024 06:45

Everyone is different.

Some people experience no discernible changes, some people find they have life-altering changes. Huge spectrum between those two extremes.

'Positivity' is often judgement and smugness rebranded.

I have not judged anyone I said I was aware it is not everyone’s experience.

And a good friend had a terrible second birth, post c section infection. I did not judge her I offered all the practical help I could…I cooked meals for the family and looked after her kids for a few hours a few times a week, after her husband returned to work, so she could get some rest in the day.

But I am also aware you do not hear many positives about it and during my pregnancy that balance would have been helpful.

OP posts: