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Original poster

To be so over my tight, selfish DH every birthday

307 replies

IAmMyUtterLackOfSurprise · 30/08/2024 22:15

I turned 57 yesterday. Birthday was a text from husband saying sorry for using last of milk, whoops happy birthday, kids up late, a card eventually. No card from DH, bottle of Lidl wine and a bunch of flowers. Booked dinner out for tonight but cancelled because DH work, rebooked for tomorrow, having had ‘well, I’m not bothered, but if YOU REALLY WANT TO’.

FB scrolling tonight I see a string quartet Coldplay concert by candlelight, not too far away, in an old priory, say ‘ooh, I’ve found a birthday pressy’ and his response was ‘hmph, not my sort of thing’..then ‘what, instead of dinner? What did you get me?’ (30 yr old scotch, dinner out with wine and a book actually’.

I fucking love Coldplay but will ever be able to afford to see them live, I thought this would be a lovely evening and cheapest tickets are £21 each.

Am I being stupid and unreasonable to just fucking want to be spoilt for one fucking birthday? My family have always been hard up so I’ve not had one birthday where it feels like a celebration.

I know this is first world problems, but am I being unreasonable to want to feel the centre of the world for ONE day?

OP posts:
CoffeeGood · 05/10/2024 07:42

Now that's a really fabulous update! Fair made me smile! Well done mystery MNer!! 😍

Raveonette · 05/10/2024 07:35

What a fantastic update!

Beautiful3 · 05/10/2024 07:20

Great update! What a lovely lady to go with you. I hope you become good friends 🧡

Josette77 · 05/10/2024 07:19

This was the best update I think I've seen on here. 💖

goody2shooz · 05/10/2024 07:18

@IAmMyUtterLackOfSurprise i hope this is just the first update….

MrsPeterHarris · 05/10/2024 07:15

Ceebs85 · 05/10/2024 07:00

THE BEST UPDATE!
Keep prioritizing yourself, it's not just for birthdays 💜

Absolutely agree!

AtouchOfCloth · 05/10/2024 07:11

This is an amazing update! I love how you took back control from the whole situation.

Footle · 05/10/2024 07:05

👍

Gettingbysomehow · 05/10/2024 07:04

That's a fantastic update I'm so pleased you had such a wonderful time and found a new friend. Best of mumsnet.

Ceebs85 · 05/10/2024 07:00

THE BEST UPDATE!
Keep prioritizing yourself, it's not just for birthdays 💜

Sugargliderwombat · 05/10/2024 06:54

Hurray!!!! Happy belated birthday OP!

KateMiskin · 05/10/2024 06:47

Great update. Go out more. Alone or with friends. Shock your lazy DH.

Alongthepineconetrail · 05/10/2024 06:46

IAmMyUtterLackOfSurprise · 04/10/2024 22:11

Hello,

I promised to update, after the lovely, mystery MN-er who reached out and invited me to go to the concert with her..

Well, it was this evening, it was amazing and she is even more lovely than the genuine random kindness 🥰. We live astonishingly near each other so hopefully we will come up with more adventures.

Oh, and it totally shocked the DH and he was quite jealous!

Thank you Mystery MN-er

What a fantastic update, thank you OP. We don't always get updates & are left wondering so it's nice when we do get one.

nzeire · 05/10/2024 06:46

That is just SO LOVELY!!!!!

CurlewKate · 05/10/2024 06:46

@sunseaandsoundingoff "My dad is from a culture that doesn't celebrate birthdays and he just never understood them. Never understood why they would be important, didn't really get them, found them a bit awkward"

My DD's partner is Hindu. The first time his parents invited us to share Diwali with them, we found it a bit awkward too because we weren't sure of the significance of it or what to do because it's not part of our culture. The first time!

Supergirl1958 · 05/10/2024 06:44

IAmMyUtterLackOfSurprise · 04/10/2024 22:11

Hello,

I promised to update, after the lovely, mystery MN-er who reached out and invited me to go to the concert with her..

Well, it was this evening, it was amazing and she is even more lovely than the genuine random kindness 🥰. We live astonishingly near each other so hopefully we will come up with more adventures.

Oh, and it totally shocked the DH and he was quite jealous!

Thank you Mystery MN-er

Genuinely sat here crying 😭

JenniferGreenHat · 05/10/2024 06:35

Wonderful update - glad you both had a lovely evening.

NigelHarmansNewWife · 05/10/2024 06:29

So pleased for you that you got to do what you wanted OP. Result!

TerfTalking · 05/10/2024 06:23

IAmMyUtterLackOfSurprise · 04/10/2024 22:11

Hello,

I promised to update, after the lovely, mystery MN-er who reached out and invited me to go to the concert with her..

Well, it was this evening, it was amazing and she is even more lovely than the genuine random kindness 🥰. We live astonishingly near each other so hopefully we will come up with more adventures.

Oh, and it totally shocked the DH and he was quite jealous!

Thank you Mystery MN-er

Love this!

good for you OP.

Pluviophile1 · 05/10/2024 06:19

What a lovely update - and a lovely MNer!

N0RKS · 05/10/2024 06:08

Oh, that’s PERFECT

HomeTheatreSystem · 05/10/2024 05:57

Also don't bother with his birthday and I mean zilch: it's just another day like any other day. Any comment from him you can just say that you've realised, thanks to him, that it really is very tedious, costly and pointless having to buy cards, presents and make an effort so you can both agree not to bother in future though I would be careful to organise something fun for myself and refuse the fucker any opportunity to be involved.

Shoxfordian · 05/10/2024 05:56

Great update, make sure you have a better birthday next year by being single for it and much happier

Outnumberedmummy2022 · 05/10/2024 05:47

This is fantastic! Well done op. Glad you had a great night.

good on the lady for reaching out too.

Poppycornfan · 05/10/2024 05:40

This is great! Glad you enjoyed