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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so over my tight, selfish DH every birthday

307 replies

IAmMyUtterLackOfSurprise · 30/08/2024 22:15

I turned 57 yesterday. Birthday was a text from husband saying sorry for using last of milk, whoops happy birthday, kids up late, a card eventually. No card from DH, bottle of Lidl wine and a bunch of flowers. Booked dinner out for tonight but cancelled because DH work, rebooked for tomorrow, having had ‘well, I’m not bothered, but if YOU REALLY WANT TO’.

FB scrolling tonight I see a string quartet Coldplay concert by candlelight, not too far away, in an old priory, say ‘ooh, I’ve found a birthday pressy’ and his response was ‘hmph, not my sort of thing’..then ‘what, instead of dinner? What did you get me?’ (30 yr old scotch, dinner out with wine and a book actually’.

I fucking love Coldplay but will ever be able to afford to see them live, I thought this would be a lovely evening and cheapest tickets are £21 each.

Am I being stupid and unreasonable to just fucking want to be spoilt for one fucking birthday? My family have always been hard up so I’ve not had one birthday where it feels like a celebration.

I know this is first world problems, but am I being unreasonable to want to feel the centre of the world for ONE day?

OP posts:
viques · 05/10/2024 09:28

Book the ticket/s and go. Buy yourself a birthday cake.

Then when you come home and have finished the cake start a savings account called “Celebrating 60” and make a direct debit to go into it every month. You don’t have to decide now what you will do in three years time but at least you will have the money to fund your weekend to Seville/New York/posh spa when the time comes.

🎂🍾🎶

LushLemonTart · 05/10/2024 09:23

Excellent update. So happy for you. I made a friend from mn years ago still in contact.

rainbowstardrops · 05/10/2024 09:18

What a brilliant update! So glad you had a good evening and you've found a new friend!

Itsnotallalark · 05/10/2024 09:16

This has got to be one of the best updates I’ve read.
I hope you’ve made a new friend OP x

KTheGrey · 05/10/2024 09:14

Love it! 😻

Abigtodistofchores · 05/10/2024 09:08

Happy birthday
Hope that you both enjoyed the concert together !

Well done Mumsnet !

HermioneWeasley · 05/10/2024 08:53

I’m not crying, you’re crying, shut up

larklane17 · 05/10/2024 08:52

What a lovely update! Hurray for Mystery Mumsnetter. You've made a lot of people smile!Flowers

DollieBantrysPantry · 05/10/2024 08:51

Brilliant update 😊

DappledThings · 05/10/2024 08:50

Brilliant update, I love this. Hope you have many more adventures

Andwegoroundagain · 05/10/2024 08:46

Awh how lovely!

Easipeelerie · 05/10/2024 08:45

My DP is an extreme tightarse, but yours takes the biscuit for being totally disrespectful of what you might deserve on your birthday.

Zonder · 05/10/2024 08:45

Wonderful update!

EveryOtherNameTaken · 05/10/2024 08:43

Fantastic!!!

Why don't you now make a new tradition to take yourself out alone or with a friend every year for your birthday treat.

Dancingqueen90 · 05/10/2024 08:38

Love this! Glad you had a good time xx

HikingforScenery · 05/10/2024 08:35

This is lovely! I’d love a coldplay string quartet by candlelight. Really good to hear you enjoyed it and found a new buddy out of it, too!

TyrannasaurusJex · 05/10/2024 08:35

Createausername1970 · 30/08/2024 22:20

Go by yourself or take a friend.

Rethink what you do for his birthday next year.

I think you mean 'rethink whether you're still together for his birthday next year'

S0CKPUPPET · 05/10/2024 08:32

Sodthebloodymealplan · 05/10/2024 07:55

Oh, I missed this thread at the time. A new friend, a wonderful evening out. MN at its best
And hopefully the jealous, backtracking husband has an epiphany and starts giving a shit. It not, well, everyone here knows the answer is LTB!

This.

OneInEight · 05/10/2024 08:21

What a lovely update. My first smile of the day.

Investinmyself · 05/10/2024 08:21

Lovely update. Good for you. Hopefully start of new adventures.

ClairDeLaLune · 05/10/2024 08:15

What a lovely update, glad you had a good evening and found a new friend!

Dragonsandcats · 05/10/2024 08:04

Brilliant end to your story, so glad you had a lovely evening.

Sodthebloodymealplan · 05/10/2024 07:55

Oh, I missed this thread at the time. A new friend, a wonderful evening out. MN at its best
And hopefully the jealous, backtracking husband has an epiphany and starts giving a shit. It not, well, everyone here knows the answer is LTB!

AhBiscuits · 05/10/2024 07:49

Wow, fantastic. What a lovely place MN can be.

XelaM · 05/10/2024 07:48

I love this thread 😀