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AIBU?

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Primary child sat only with non-English speaking children

210 replies

evilharpy · 30/08/2024 14:02

I don't know if IABU so grateful for any opinions.

Daughter is in second to last year of primary and has just gone back to school (we are in Ireland, before anyone says it's too early) and they've been allocated to their table groups. The class is maybe 1/4 ESL children, 3/4 native speakers. She is on one long table with only children who have fairly recently moved here and don't speak much English sitting beside or really anywhere near her, certainly not close enough to talk to or pair up with for activities. Several of them are from the same country so speak each other's language.

Now I have no problem at all with ESL children being sat with or paired up with native speakers, how else are they supposed to learn, and I know the purpose of lessons is not to sit chatting to your friends, but she is worried she will be isolated and that she will end up spending more time helping them than doing her own work. She is very academic, if that's relevant, but is not at all prone to drama or moaning so the fact that she has told me she's worried about it has made me concerned.

WIBU to raise this with the teacher and ask if the tables could be mixed up a bit? Has anyone had a similar experience and it's worked out ok for the child?

OP posts:
HerewegoagainSS · 30/08/2024 14:42

No way would I be happy with this!

Most likely your daughter is a good kid who will help them and set a great example. But her school experience is important too.

Librarybooksandacoconut · 30/08/2024 14:42

Ozanj · 30/08/2024 14:34

It’s probable that the non-English speakers are working to her ability (or beyond) in maths and written english and that’s the reason. It takes immigrant non-english speaking children about a month to catch up as they can speak English just not UK/Irish English. Then they usually overtake.

No it doesn’t. Most migrant children to the UK in 2024 have no or limited English when they arrive (children from South Asia are the exception to this). Social fluency usually takes about 2 years and academic fluency around 5-7. EAL children have the same range of abilities as everyone else - some will be extremely fast to learn English, most will follow the above pattern and some take far longer because they have SEN (which often is masked because of the language barrier).

H0PE1 · 30/08/2024 14:41

FragileWookiee · 30/08/2024 14:37

My daughter sat next to a boy to "encourage him to behave." This was the teachers actual reasoning. I was actually fuming. It's not my daughters responsibility to encourage unruly boys into behaving. They were 8 at the time, she's very academic, and she was distracted constantly throughout the day. I did email in to complain, and she was moved the same day, and the child moved to the table in front of the teacher so she could then keep her eye on him, like it should of been in the first place.

Yes that's what I meant

H0PE1 · 30/08/2024 14:41

It's not that different to when they always put my child next to the naughty kids. It's different of course but it's not to your daughters advantage really, it's for someone else

Floralnomad · 30/08/2024 14:39

I’d be asking for her to be moved and when you do it make sure you tell the teacher that the other kids are speaking to each other in their native language. I would have thought that the non English speakers should be separated to encourage them to improve their language skills .

FragileWookiee · 30/08/2024 14:37

My daughter sat next to a boy to "encourage him to behave." This was the teachers actual reasoning. I was actually fuming. It's not my daughters responsibility to encourage unruly boys into behaving. They were 8 at the time, she's very academic, and she was distracted constantly throughout the day. I did email in to complain, and she was moved the same day, and the child moved to the table in front of the teacher so she could then keep her eye on him, like it should of been in the first place.

Librarybooksandacoconut · 30/08/2024 14:36

I’m an EAL teacher and this set up does not sound great practice for anyone. EAL children need to have opportunities to hear and talk with children who are fluent speakers and that can’t all be placed on one child. Ideally you’d have a mix of those who are in the early stages and those who are first language or fluent on every table. Sometimes you might want to bring together your newer arrivals to do some targeted teaching, but that should only be for a short period. I’d also be recommending making sure that children are regularly changing who they sit next to so that those children who are good at supporting their peers don’t become resentful at also being expected to help others.

OP, I would have a chat with the teacher to find out what the situation is and ask if they can ensure your DD is able to spend time sitting/working with a range of children in the class.

Jc2001 · 30/08/2024 14:36

Parker231 · 30/08/2024 14:22

Why not let the teacher do her job and decide where it is best to sit everyone?

Because that might not be what is best for the OP's daughter.

Andwegoroundagain · 30/08/2024 14:35

I wouldn't necessarily complain but mention to the teacher that DD is a bit worried and you don't want her to feel isolated. That you are sure as teachers there's a plan in place but you just wanted to mention it so teacher is aware

Ozanj · 30/08/2024 14:34

It’s probable that the non-English speakers are working to her ability (or beyond) in maths and written english and that’s the reason. It takes immigrant non-english speaking children about a month to catch up as they can speak English just not UK/Irish English. Then they usually overtake.

evilharpy · 30/08/2024 14:34

DillyDilly · 30/08/2024 14:32

Is it your DD or yourself that is worried that they may be isolated or end up helping the other kids at her table ??

Chances are the kids will be all moved around again around half-term or there will be students swapped around when the teacher realises some need kids to be separated, etc.

And your DD has lunchtimes, etc to catch up with her friends.

I literally said "she has told me she is worried". The only reason I'm even aware of it is because she has come and told me she is worried.

OP posts:
DillyDilly · 30/08/2024 14:32

Is it your DD or yourself that is worried that they may be isolated or end up helping the other kids at her table ??

Chances are the kids will be all moved around again around half-term or there will be students swapped around when the teacher realises some need kids to be separated, etc.

And your DD has lunchtimes, etc to catch up with her friends.

TorturedParentsDepartment · 30/08/2024 14:32

Would depend on the dynamics for me - but if it was making her unhappy, I'd be talking to school about it. It kind of happened to DD2 last year - she ended up on a table with 3/5 of the kids on there being Cantonese speakers. It worked out OK because 2 of the kids palled up (kind of natural if there's someone there who speaks the same first language as you and nothing against the kids), but the other kids did still interact with DD, and I had confidence in the class teacher that she was keeping an eye on the dynamic in that corner.

Timeforaglassofwine · 30/08/2024 14:32

I haven't read what everyone else has said, but I would honestly let her stay where she is. The esl kids will pick up English very quickly, and she'll expand her social group and get to know kids from different backgrounds. I don't think this is necessarily about her being a teacher's aid, more of a learning experience for your dd.

evilharpy · 30/08/2024 14:32

Seashor · 30/08/2024 14:14

I have hardly been able to wait for all the moaning school threads!
Another case of parents butting their nose in without knowing the facts or class dynamics!
My class have their set place. They move around numerous and I mean numerous times a day, sitting next to other children. They work individually, in pairs in threes, age related to that subject, mixed ability, next to a friend, beside people they haven’t worked with before. There are multiple reasons on how children are seated.
I’d love to tell you all how to do your jobs with my zero experience. I just know that I would be able to tell you all what you need to do.

I'm not sure me asking "I'm not sure whether this is something to be concerned about but it's worrying my child, please can anyone share similar experiences" equates with "you have no idea how to do your job and I am going to kick off about it"?

Thankfully the teachers in our school are lovely and not at all hostile.

OP posts:
NevergonnagiveHughup · 30/08/2024 14:31

Ireland poster here also.

Unless there’s something unusual going on the tables will be mixed up after Halloween so I wouldn’t be stressing right now. If that didn’t happen I’d go in and speak to the teacher then.

Oblomov24 · 30/08/2024 14:30

I agree with @Werweisswohin - she's not there for other children's benefit re language , so talk to teacher about it.

RootToVictory · 30/08/2024 14:30

I’d raise it (politely) and ask. Had an issue when DD was sat just with a load of naughty boys (who she found distracting and upsetting) and her teacher told me it was because she was a “civilising influence”. Sadly well behaved kids, often girls, frequently have their own needs overlooked because they are not the one causing problems.

IReallyCouldntThinkOfAUsername · 30/08/2024 14:30

Seashor · 30/08/2024 14:14

I have hardly been able to wait for all the moaning school threads!
Another case of parents butting their nose in without knowing the facts or class dynamics!
My class have their set place. They move around numerous and I mean numerous times a day, sitting next to other children. They work individually, in pairs in threes, age related to that subject, mixed ability, next to a friend, beside people they haven’t worked with before. There are multiple reasons on how children are seated.
I’d love to tell you all how to do your jobs with my zero experience. I just know that I would be able to tell you all what you need to do.

What a daft response.

dreamingofsun · 30/08/2024 14:28

'Academic and not prone to moaning'....she sounds a lovely student. Thats why she has been sat where she is - so she can help the other kids. If she was disruptive the teacher would have moved her elsewhere.

WhatNoRaisins · 30/08/2024 14:27

It's not ideal but I'd tell her to just focus on her own schoolwork. She shouldn't need to be mentoring her classmates.

Werweisswohin · 30/08/2024 14:26

Parker231 · 30/08/2024 14:22

Why not let the teacher do her job and decide where it is best to sit everyone?

Teachers can't possibly do what's best for every single pupil though - sometimes parents do need to speak up.

Fiddlemetimbers · 30/08/2024 14:26

Seashor · 30/08/2024 14:14

I have hardly been able to wait for all the moaning school threads!
Another case of parents butting their nose in without knowing the facts or class dynamics!
My class have their set place. They move around numerous and I mean numerous times a day, sitting next to other children. They work individually, in pairs in threes, age related to that subject, mixed ability, next to a friend, beside people they haven’t worked with before. There are multiple reasons on how children are seated.
I’d love to tell you all how to do your jobs with my zero experience. I just know that I would be able to tell you all what you need to do.

The thread is about OP's child. It is not about you. Why so much hostility. You are replying like you're her child's teacher and taking personal offence.

"Another case of parents butting their nose in without knowing the facts or class dynamics!"

Unless you are her child's teacher, you're doing the same thing.

MumblesParty · 30/08/2024 14:25

I’d be complaining about this straight away OP. Why should your daughter not have people on her table who can speak her language, while others do? It’s not fair.

Parker231 · 30/08/2024 14:22

Why not let the teacher do her job and decide where it is best to sit everyone?