Shrieking child next door ALL DAY LONG! WWYD

She literally said "Unless the child is ND, it's not an involuntary thing the child does. They can be taught to be considerate.."

Most children attend mainstream school and are not ND, therefore most children can be taught to be considerate.

@rosesinmygarden you don’t teach two and three year olds though, do you?

You can’t really teach a two year old to be ‘more considerate’ 😂

We have similar. Neighbours told us to get fucked. I have contacted environmental health.

I think it's quite unlikely that the 2 or 3 year old child will have a diagnosis of anything yet.

I think threads maybe draw people who have children with additional needs, because reading through it seems like way more children have additional needs than don't. I don't think that's the case, and if it was then the behaviours that are associated with additional needs become the expected.

Since this is not the case then I think it's reasonable for OP to talk to the neighbours. It might be down to lack of awareness, poor parenting or any other issue that could easily be resolved.

@rosesinmygarden
They can be taught to be considerate...

And you say it as a teacher 😑You obviously teach in mainstream with little experience of some ND children.

You have my sympathies.

We had neighbours like this. It was unrelenting and miserable and in desperation I wrote them a letter. It did get better a little but not entirely

DH does a lot of Zoom meetings and clients could hear tthe children screaming in the garden, despite him being inside with the windows shut. It really was loud and happened alot. sometimes as late as 10/11pm.

They moved last summer. I felt like having a party.

I'm a teacher and it is definitely possible to stop children screaming like this, even young ones. Unless the child is ND, it's not an involuntary thing the child does. They can be taught to be considerate...

Unpopular opinion, but in my experience,
its normally a case of poor/not enough parenting. (Possibly because they're exhausted from the screaming!)

Just talk to them about it! How will they know unless you communicate it’s annoying you?!

Except that being a parent of a disabled child is the one bandwagon no one wants to jump on.

Yes you’re right. And I guess we should cut them some slack, it’s probably not their fault that they’re ignorant, uneducated and rude. Probably down to their upbringing.

People aren’t jumping on the bandwagon, autism is being diagnosed more because we understand it better now. Also, as any parent of an autistic child will tell you, getting a diagnosis isn’t easy!

I assume by yowling and keening you mean kids with autism, in which case their parents telling them to shut up would either have absolutely no effect or make things worse. You do realise that these kids literally can’t help it- unlike the thousands of other people in public who behave antisocially (swearing, spitting/ hacking, playing music)?

We have neighbours who let their kids scream and scream all the time, fortunately detached houses so we only hear when they're outside, which is in all fecking weathers, girl about 6, boy 3-4. Never heard anything like it, can't believe parents like this who don't discipline their children at all . It's not just the odd scream or shreik as happens during play, but constant. We have to close all windows when it starts, and still hear it through our well-insulated walls and modern double glazing. Can't sit outside on a fine evening as scream time can go on till 10 pm. I console myself with the thought that at least these twats get to experience this indoors as well. They're also not doing their kids any favours with the lack of discipline, it's no wonder so many teenagers have problems when they grow up thinking the world revolves around them, and then find out it doesn't. I feel for you OP, can't imagine having this through the wall..I hope you can find a solution.

You're working from home...that's your issue. He's in his home.

If it is SN it might be impossible to stop the shrieking though.

@ButterCrackers sorry I realised you weren’t saying parents of autistic kids were shit parents who let their kids run wild - I completely misread. I’m that used to hearing it now I just jump to conclusions 🤦🏻‍♀️

Echolalia due to ADHD or ASD. The problem is that it's part of the natural state of being unmasked, similar to stimming. Some kids literally talk or babble to themselves every second they are awake, and more unfortunate cases will be shrieking or screaming. They can be forced to learn to be quiet but it's essentially a form of masking which isn't healthy on the long run. Since it's not directly your problem anyway, you should invest in noise cancelling headphones or play some background music/white noise at home. Once the child is old enough for nursery or school there should hopefully be more peace.

Agree. It must be difficult for parents who have kids with such health problems to see it being used as an excuse by others. I have seen the difficulties of parenting a child with autism. It’s a tough job.

You always get some arsehole claiming Autism is a bandwagon. I think they should probably count themselves lucky they’re so ignorant!

Ofc these people know better than the medical professionals!

@ButterCrackers I strongly disagree with that. All parents of autistic kids I know (myself included) go out of our way to manage our children’s behaviour and disturbances as much as possible. Not one of us would let our child run riot on trains or in any kind of public setting. The kind of parents that do that are the kind of parents that don’t give a shit about their kids or other people and are likely not to have any kind of diagnosis, it’s just bandied about to excuse their shitty parenting.

They’ve probably spent money and time on their garden too! You both have the right to enjoy it, them for their young child to play. Have you tried having a quiet word with them yet or discussing it- I wasn’t clear about that?

Same. All this ‘jumping on the band wagon’ stuff… why would anyone want their child to be autistic?!
I haven’t had a full nights sleep in 6 years. I can’t leave my child unaccompanied for even a second as he’d injure himself (or worse). I can’t give my other children the time and attention that they need. I go to work every day having had 2 hours sleep the night before, then get home and have to go through the whole thing again. My child will never live independently, so this is my life now.
But yeah, absolutely jumping on a band wagon.

This is a tricky one. I have a child with severe ASD who shrieks all the time. I genuinely am at a loss as to how I could stop it, and trust me it is awful for me to listen to, too. We have spent £1000s on occupational therapists etc to try and figure out ways to reduce his noise, to no avail. All I can hope is that he grows out of it one day.
Thankfully we’re in a detached house, otherwise I’m sure our neighbours would be saying the same.

My sister's house backs onto a house where a child with autism lives. It's very, very clear that the child has additional needs. The child's parents have spoken to their immediate neighbours. The child can't help the noise she is making and their parents aren't apologising for their daughter, but the parents have acknowledged that it disturbs others. Just speaking to each other helps everyone to be more tolerant and accepting.

This. I initially posted having skim read and assumed OP had already done this, hence my suggestion of noise-cancelling headphones and to suck it up. But to not even have spoken with them and have all of these posters branding the neighbours as “selfish” is nothing short of ridiculous. Sometimes we have to be adults and address things we have an issue with.

All of this chat about ASD and whether the child has special needs is also not really correct- the vast majority of kids with special needs won’t be diagnosed aged 2/3 as it’s simply too early to tell for most. And let’s be clear, no one can be screaming outside constantly, let alone a 2 yr old they’d be dead by now (and even the OP mentions singing).

There are loads of things neighbours have done in the past to annoy me, like smoking, loud music, parties, cars which they revved up on the drive at 6am every morning, kids playing basketball, elderly people leaving the TV on all night really loud. Notably one set of neighbours did a full side return/ loft extension when we were all in the house during lockdown. It’s just a part of living cheek by jowl as many of us do. Of course fine to have a word politely but the indignation and criticising of parenting seem a bit OTT plus the expectation of workplace conditions at home.