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Shrieking child next door ALL DAY LONG! WWYD

290 replies

Mydietstartstomorrow · 30/08/2024 06:54

New neighbours moved in next door a few weeks ago. They have a young boy I’d estimate age 2 to 3. He shrieks virtually all day and evening, not in a crying upset way, more in play and excitement but it’s ALL.THE.TIME!
Theyre out in the garden and he’s shrieking (can’t think of another word for it) or kinda singing to himself in a really high pitched loud tone, and when they’re inside he’s doing the same. We live in small terrace houses and can hear loudish noise through the walls. I work from home 3 days a week and it’s driving me to distraction. We can’t sit out in the garden as it’s constant. I appreciate he may have some additional needs but surely the parents would be aware of the noise and try to reduce this? He is definitely verbal as I hear him chatting to his mum. Apparently the mum doesn’t speak English and the dad leaves for work early and comes back quite late so there’s been no interaction between us since they moved in. WWYD? The noise is driving me insane but I really don’t want to be insensitive

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ClaudiaWankleman · 06/09/2024 10:00

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 22:57

Quiet enjoyment of one's home is the default setting.

The noise MAKER does not get to determine what is reasonable; the person on the receiving end does.

People whose kids are noisy need to develop strategies to allow their neighbours peace in the home. If that means taking the kids on six walks per day or driving them around in the car at night so they can scream without disturbing others, so be it.

Almost none of that is anywhere close to the truth/ reality.

tinklingchimes · 05/09/2024 23:08

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 22:57

Quiet enjoyment of one's home is the default setting.

The noise MAKER does not get to determine what is reasonable; the person on the receiving end does.

People whose kids are noisy need to develop strategies to allow their neighbours peace in the home. If that means taking the kids on six walks per day or driving them around in the car at night so they can scream without disturbing others, so be it.

Please tell my neighbours that. lol.

Some people don't want to hear a peep though, and that's not necessarily realistic or fair.

The good side of having neighbour's that make some noise is you can make your own without worrying if you're bothering them. It's been a really windy week here and normally I'd tie up my wind chimes. However, my neighbours are inconsiderate so they've been incessant for days. Too bad.

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 22:57

tinklingchimes · 05/09/2024 22:54

No but we all have a different threshold for what is tolerable when it comes to the noise of kids not our own. One person's unreasonable may actually be quite reasonable (both ways).

Quiet enjoyment of one's home is the default setting.

The noise MAKER does not get to determine what is reasonable; the person on the receiving end does.

People whose kids are noisy need to develop strategies to allow their neighbours peace in the home. If that means taking the kids on six walks per day or driving them around in the car at night so they can scream without disturbing others, so be it.

tinklingchimes · 05/09/2024 22:54

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 22:52

Kids shrieking all day long is not a normal level of noise by civilized standards.

No but we all have a different threshold for what is tolerable when it comes to the noise of kids not our own. One person's unreasonable may actually be quite reasonable (both ways).

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 22:52

Kids shrieking all day long is not a normal level of noise by civilized standards.

tinklingchimes · 05/09/2024 22:38

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 13:57

So if working from home needn't be respected, why would I tone down noise so that my neighbours' infant could sleep, or their teen revise, or any other reason?

It's everyone for themselves now, eh?

After all, the student could go to the library and the parents could take the infant out.

You don't have to tone down normal levels of noise related to normal activities for either of those things.

JollyPinkFox · 05/09/2024 18:37

caringcarer · 05/09/2024 14:13

I think I'd tell the parents you find it early fitting the way their kid shrieks all the time. Can they please keep him quiet until 9am in the morning and after 10pm at night. If they refuse you could report to the council as a noise hazard

Do not do this, the council don’t do anything about it because it’s child noise and I believe you have to then declare the complaint when you want to sell the property. I went through this a few years ago, the parents were relentlessly unreasonable bastards and the only way to get them to shut the kids up was to also make a load of noise, late at night, very early on the weekend

caringcarer · 05/09/2024 14:15

ItsAShame2 · 30/08/2024 07:55

I would record it and go over to play it to them and say is there any chance we can reach a compromise on the days you work from home

This. I'm surprised the kid doesn't go to nursery. You could ask if he might be going soon.

FiveFindOutersAndDog · 05/09/2024 14:14

@buffyajp
The OP doesn't have an office to go, so is either working from home or visiting clients.
Parents should be parenting their child and not allowing screaming and shrieking. We didn't allow that sort of noise when our DC were small.
If the chill is ND they should still be making some sort of effort to control noise.
Maybe they should move somewhere remote because no doubt they will be annoying the neighbours on their other side.

caringcarer · 05/09/2024 14:13

I think I'd tell the parents you find it early fitting the way their kid shrieks all the time. Can they please keep him quiet until 9am in the morning and after 10pm at night. If they refuse you could report to the council as a noise hazard

ClaudiaWankleman · 05/09/2024 13:59

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 13:57

So if working from home needn't be respected, why would I tone down noise so that my neighbours' infant could sleep, or their teen revise, or any other reason?

It's everyone for themselves now, eh?

After all, the student could go to the library and the parents could take the infant out.

Well I doubt you do? It's certainly not normal for neighbours to know that much about their neighbours routines that they actually would keep quiet to facilitate revision or a baby to go down. Outside of the council-set quiet hours, it's normally a free-for-all.

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 13:57

So if working from home needn't be respected, why would I tone down noise so that my neighbours' infant could sleep, or their teen revise, or any other reason?

It's everyone for themselves now, eh?

After all, the student could go to the library and the parents could take the infant out.

ClaudiaWankleman · 05/09/2024 13:54

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 09:36

The world has changed. Homes ARE workplaces now and need to be respected as such.

Homes are workplaces and that's why the worker needs to treat them as such. Set them up properly, create an appropriate space and take responsibility for managing their own capacity to work from home. It's not on their neighbours to facilitate an appropriate working environment.

Heronwatcher · 05/09/2024 12:39

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 09:36

The world has changed. Homes ARE workplaces now and need to be respected as such.

No it hasn’t.
No they don’t.
Short of noise which approches legal nuisance type levels (child noise very unlikely to do this, but clearly the OP is the one to assess in this case) there is absolutely nothing stopping people using homes as homes with associated noise for leisure, cleaning, building work, DIY, watching TV, listening to music, mowing the lawn, hoovering, playing, playing the French horn, whatever.
If people find it difficult to work from home with reasonable levels of noise from neighbours then the onus is on them to find somewhere else to do it- either an office, or a communal work base, library, community space etc. Again the OP would no doubt say that the child next door’s noise is unreasonable but none of us have heard it.
(And very aware that the OP is not just asking about work but I wanted to answer this point specifically).

tinklingchimes · 05/09/2024 09:38

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 09:36

The world has changed. Homes ARE workplaces now and need to be respected as such.

I don't have shrieking kids but I'm not changing normal courteous home behaviour to cater for working at home. It's my home, not my workplace. If it's a problem, the worker can make adjustments.

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 09:36

Heronwatcher · 30/08/2024 08:18

People telling op to wear headphones or even move house!! Why should she?

I guess because it’s her that has the issue and needs to have a quieter environment?

Totally appreciate that it’s annoying but homes, especially in family areas are not offices. It’s this child and his mother’s home, not a workplace. Of course everyone should try to be considerate but if the woman is trying, has other stuff going on or there are SN involved I don’t think it’s fair to stop the very young child playing/ singing etc at home just because someone next door is working.

The world has changed. Homes ARE workplaces now and need to be respected as such.

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 09:34

Mypuppyismad · 30/08/2024 08:11

People telling op to wear headphones or even move house!! Why should she? . The I is here is in the parents of the child to keep him quiet and not let him make everyone life a misery around him. If they can’t do that then they should move. Don’t inflict your kids noise on others. If there are some special needs it’s a shame but it still stands that others shouldn’t be disturbed. If that is the case it’s up to them to either soundproof or move somewhere with no neighbors.

Also the child's parents could take him to parks and other open spaces. To be courteous and give neighbours a break.

tinklingchimes · 05/09/2024 09:27

parkrun500club · 05/09/2024 08:17

A review has found that air and noise pollution affect fertility (which doubtless means they affect other health issues too).

So can people please be quiet(er).

Noise and air pollution could increase the risk of infertility (thetimes.com)

I need to ask the neighbour's to make more noise then. ha

BettyBardMacDonald · 05/09/2024 09:26

Blueybanditbingochilli · 30/08/2024 07:36

Who wants to wear noise cancelling headphones in their own house? You can’t hear the phone/door, you can’t listen to the radio, you can’t watch telly. It’s madness this is suggested so often like forfeiting your right to hear in your own home is remotely normal.

Exactly.

And not everyone has an office to go back to. My employer gave up the space and made us all permanent wfh-ers.

GenAvocadoOnToast · 05/09/2024 09:17

Ozanj · 05/09/2024 09:08

If this were true. The Indian population wouldn’t be so big.

What a ridiculous statement

Ozanj · 05/09/2024 09:08

parkrun500club · 05/09/2024 08:17

A review has found that air and noise pollution affect fertility (which doubtless means they affect other health issues too).

So can people please be quiet(er).

Noise and air pollution could increase the risk of infertility (thetimes.com)

If this were true. The Indian population wouldn’t be so big.

GenAvocadoOnToast · 05/09/2024 09:06

parkrun500club · 05/09/2024 08:17

A review has found that air and noise pollution affect fertility (which doubtless means they affect other health issues too).

So can people please be quiet(er).

Noise and air pollution could increase the risk of infertility (thetimes.com)

It’s been associated with all sorts of health problems:

noise pollution not only drives hearing loss, tinnitus, and hypersensitivity to sound, but can cause or exacerbate cardiovascular disease; type 2 diabetes; sleep disturbances; stress; mental health and cognition problems, including memory impairment and attention deficits; childhood learning delays; and low birth weight. Scientists are investigating other possible links, including to dementia.

https://magazine.hms.harvard.edu/articles/noise-and-health#:~:text=They've%20shown%20that%20noise,attention%20deficits%3B%20childhood%20learning%20delays%3B

close-up of a knob that regulates sound volume

Noise and Health

Noise pollution is more than a nuisance. It's a health risk.

https://magazine.hms.harvard.edu/articles/noise-and-health#:~:text=They've%20shown%20that%20noise,attention%20deficits%3B%20childhood%20learning%20delays%3B

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 04/09/2024 19:15

You'll have to talk to them OP but be very gentle until you know if there are issues.

Blueybanditbingochilli · 04/09/2024 19:06

Isthisasgoodasitis · 02/09/2024 22:06

🤣🤣🤣 you live without making a single noise then? Thought not!! I don’t care about your mortgage petal my child can express herself however she sees fit from 8am to 8pm thus not breaking any laws at all wether you like it or not

She sounds like a great fit for school and the workplace 😬