I am wondering if all mums are a bit like this?
It feels disloyal to even be posting a thread like this but I am going to go for it anyway!
I love my mum and she has a lot of good qualities, everyone thinks she is wonderful
And how lucky I am to have her as my mum, but I feel there is also a side to her that only I see and experience (hence why I wonder if my perspective is off and I’m imagining it.)
and I just wondered if other mums are like this behind closed doors?
some examples:
Nothing feels good enough for her and I always feel like I have disappointed her or let her down somehow. For as long as I can remember I have always sought the approval of my mother and even though nothing was/ is ever deemed good enough, I cannot seem to get out of this mindset of wanting her approval and validation. She will offer a compliment, but that can be coupled with a criticism.
She doesn’t seem to ever like it when I am in a relationship. She says I don’t give her enough time, don’t want to share details
with her and unless I can date someone who will enhance the family, then I shouldn’t be with them.
I spend most days feeling incredibly guilty that I don’t do enough for her and am made to feel her requests are perfectly reasonable and saying no makes me a horrible person. She will often cry and point out all she has done for me and that she’s not asking for much by asking me to do x,y and z.
Physical Appearance is very important to her. As children, we were always immaculately presented and would not be allowed to leave the house if we did not look perfect (even if it meant changing our outfit in the middle of the day).
She will always ask how my diet is going. If I eat anything she doesn’t seem healthy she will comment. “Given up on your diet have you?” 😤 My brother lost 8 stone and looked too thin to me and I told him this. She would say no he was not and was still overweight.
YABU - yes my mum has a side like this to her too
YANBU - no my mum is not like this at all
If your mum is like this, how do you handle it?