DP just invited four people to dinner tonight and assumed I'd cook

You're being unreasonable. Typically MN inhospitable and inflexible.

Why on earth did you not get a takeaway in? Job done. No cooking, everyone happy.

Just go with the flow, enjoy the evening, does it really matter what guests think of the food and I’m sure your loos are already clean. Loosen up, have a laugh and enjoy the company.

Yes, absolutely he was VVVU to invite people round without notice. But he’s picked it up and is cooking/hosting. (As he damn well should!)

Up to you if you want to make yourself scarce. If I was knackered and not in the mood to People then I’d take myself to the cinema, definitely. If I was feeling more sociable, I’d whisk a cloth round the downstairs loo then sit back and put myself in charge of the wine.

As PP said, a conversation when you’re the other side of this about mismatched surprise dinner guest expectations would be in order.

BTW I’m veggie and I’m having a butter bean based curry tonight and it’s bloody yummy, so it’s not a terrible late-notice midweek meal choice to accommodate a vegan and Mrs No Tomatoes.

Throw in some fancy dress and it sounds like an intriguing murder mystery evening.
"The French Girlfriend" - perhaps with a beret?
"No Tomato Jo" (love this description!)
"The Flake with a horse cock"
"The Fun Sponge (you just come as you are, apparently)"
All assembled by the eccentric host - but who will fall prey to his "miserable bean stew?!"
I'm guessing there will be more than one casualty this evening!!

Whether you go out or not, make sure Mr Conviviality cleans up the kitchen and puts on the dishwasher before he goes to bed.

Fucking hell, call one of your own friends and arrange to go to the pub.

I think he's right about the inflexibility of never wanting anyone over on the spur of the moment, but when you do that you order a takeaway, or give them supermarket pizza, that he picks up.

FWIW I also think FF is right to continue with their plan to see each other.

Unusual they would bill you later for drinks!!

What has ADHD got to do with this? Do we list any other irrelevant disabilities about people when posting disparagingly about them? Or is it just autism and ADHD we're allowed to do that with?

I can’t really see the problem so long as he’s cooking. Just enjoy your evening? Or do you dislike them all?

Just go out, it’s not even your problem.

I agree you should go out so that there is in no doubt that you had nothing to do with dinner 😂

Very pleased to hear you’ve stood your ground. Hopefully he won’t try to pull that one again!

it’s likely this lovely “French”girlfriend’s expectations are in the gutter anyway!

I'd take myself out for the evening.

My DH has done this ONCE before assuming I'd cook. I didn't cook, and took myself off to the pub. He was embarrassed.

He now knows I need minimum 1 weeks notice.

Stop for a drink. Drop into conversation that DP has been cooking, isn’t he clever to have found and sourced such an interesting recipe [subtext- this monstrosity is nothing to do with you]. Then go out to the cinema/ pub/ drive thru (making it clear that you booked earlier this week) and leave them to it.

I don't even like beans much, though I admire his ingenuity with the peanut butter.

ok

Just make sure everyone knows that HE made the food. Greet them breezily at the door on your way out, tell them to enjoy his best efforts, and off you go!

He definitely shouldn't assume you'd cook. But if he's going to do the cooking then it's on him and it's unreasonable to get worked up because it's going to reflect badly on you some how. You need to detach yourself from this and not feel responsible. No-one else is holding your responsible. I think it's quite nice to do relaxed, impromptu dinners where no-one has got too worked up about putting on a special show. A take-away would have been fine. But actually not so easy if someone is a vegan and someone else doesn't eat tomatoes.

Try and relax and enjoy it. But if you really aren't in the mood for visitors tonight it would be fine to make yourself scarce and ask DP to tell them you already had other plans.

I agree with DH that he should be able to invite people round if he likes, provided he is not expecting anything from you.

I would 💯 go out in these circumstances. I would have a little tidy round and clean the loos though, wouldn’t be able to help myself

the only thing that matters OP is that everyone knows it was him who cooked the food

Go out.

Sure husband can invite any one to our home but he knows damn well I'm not doing any impromptu cooking/cleaning he also knows i'm going to grab a take away, a book and stay in our bedroom, if I dont want to host. I do not care what people think. He's a fully grown capable adult, they're his guests not ours so the hosting is solely on him but not once in the decades we've been together has he ever pulled anything like that. He'll ask if its ok for so and so to pop in for a drink but "cooking" will be planned out. Go grab a drink and a takeaway and let him fend for himself.