DP just invited four people to dinner tonight and assumed I'd cook

Can’t lie, I’d be fuming. And your dp wasn’t designated driver for HIS family lunch out? And doesn’t cook or clean? What does he do? Genuinely, I would choose a decent place to have dinner on my own, or get very drunk (got any booze in?) and slander his cooking.

This^^

I wouldn't want to hang around for awkward, potentially gross dinner with dp you've just had a blazing row with. Fuck that. Sounds like hell. Go out and stay out until he's dealt with it all

Why do people assume that everyone lives close to an Indian or a Chinese restaurant? 😂

I need about a year and a half's notice about hosting to be truly happy BUT I have also done the proverbial throw together a meal for six with whatever's in the cupboard - but for omnivores, not having to take into account a whole bunch of restrictions. Also, I have a French passport (albeit acquired as an adult), so feel qualified to comment on that aspect of the issue.

I get your annoyance; mostly I think you're worn out and just don't want to do another round of socialising. That's perfectly acceptable! Unfortunately the die is cast. But I do think it is possible to worry too much about what you produce at a dinner - it sounds pollyanna-ish, but it really is true that people remember the chat and the event far more than they do the food. (Unless the food is truly abysmal, I know we still discuss in my family a dire meal we had to ingest over a decade and a half ago. Sorry, that probably doesn't make you feel better.) I would just make it clear when they arrive, tra-la-la, that it's wonderful you could all have this impromptu get-together, DP has cleverly magicked something up out of what we had in the house - isn't he marvellous, throwing this together after we were more or less picked clean by relatives over the weekend? - and let's all have a glass of wine, shall we? Ze French amie will pick up on all the clues and will absolve you of any failings. She also probably has dealt with far stranger situations that FF has landed her in, so there's that. It's all a bit crap and far from ideal, but maybe just lean back and try to enjoy.

Just order an Indian? They're coming for the social event not your gourmet cooking...

I need a photo of the peanut butter bean stew OP.

£35 x 6 is not under £200... even without the drinks.

We often have charcuterie style nights with friends - cheese, olives, houmus, bread, meats, wine and nice chocolates, can you send your husband out for that kind of thing?

YANBU OP and as he says he’ll have guests in his home I would agree- yes, give the friends your new address once you’ve moved out.

DH needs to apologise for insulting you and for inviting 4 people for dinner over your loud objection. He should have told FF that he needed to have a think and he'd ring back in 15 minutes.

I would not be part of the dinner unless he delivers a heartfelt apology.

Otherwise: dh invited the guests. Dh will clean the loo - or not. He will cook. He will clean up. You do not need to get involved, and it will be only too obvious that you had nothing to do with the food. Because surely that's a normal topic of conversation - Did you make this? Nope, it was all dh.

Do you two have dc? If not, don't. This is a big red flag.

I’m sure op has some ice cubes or something in the freezer her dh could serve.

I remember the jam slags thread! Hehehhe

Ah but what would the poor vegan do then?

I’ve got this book- I think it’s called “Stone Soup”.

Have you seen White Chicks? Get that big hang nail on the table just as dh serves his stew....
Seriously tell him you are looking forward to him hosting tonight and sit on your arse. How much hosting did he do for his own family? And tell the whole lot of cf you are charging Airbnb rates going forward..

I’m not an easy host. Last minute plans in my house would send me into a full melt-down. I would
be furious if DH did something like this. He wouldn’t though because he is not a complete and utter jerk. My XH used to do stuff like this. Note the X. Complete personality clash.

Sometimes, people just really want a quiet evening. Unless you are intensely extroverted, that’s surely not very hard to understand? I love my friends and I enjoy entertaining. Sometimes, it’s the last thing I want to do and I’d much rather have cereal for dinner, watch Bridgerton and give myself a pedicure. I suspect this is fairly standard.

OP wanting downtime isn’t the issue, here.

You are being unreasonable, why take it on yourself. DH offered, he doesn't the catering. You're going to yoga/whatever. If he needs it hopefully there is a dominos or similar locally. This will teach him for future because it sounds like he won't learn any other way - and perhaps he'll even enjoy the cooking/ordering/whatever they do.

The last time dh tried this with me I completely refused and he didn't speak to me for 9 days.
The time previously his cousin's called to say they were coming down in 20 minutes, I'd just done the school run and was getting ready to leave for work and he was not happy that I didn't hang around to cook them breakfast.
Honestly op, I'd leave him to it and go out. Saves you from the inevitable further embarrassment you are already feeling in relation to the girlfriend.
I'd text the flaky friend and let him know you already have prior arrangements and you hope they enjoy dp's stew. You may or may not see them later deyon when you get back

Why not both? Yum delicious this bean mess. Great you came over. Don't mind me. Just grinding me fungal nail.

God, I'd have to be out.
I couldn't sit through that.
Hate butterbeans as it is.
Adding chilli and peanut butter to them doesn't sound any better.
I'm sorry for you.

How's the cooking coming along?If I were you I'd go to the cinema!

😂😂 Poor OP.

im curious

all the other times you’ve entertained… you have done and cleaning and all the cooking?