Would you have children if you knew they may never move out?

Many people if they need to. If you rent it then you can be a few hundred better off a month in a one bed

Who downsizes from a two bed flat?!

This is a big fear of mine. I love my kids, but I'd love to be able to visit them in their own houses - and maybe have them cook me a meal once in a while. Happy for them to come and stay, but would not be happy if they never launched at all.

I guess from the number of people here who are happy for their kids to remain at home, they don't see it as a problem.
I wonder though how many people on this thread married a man (or woman) who was living at home in their thirties?

I'm not unhappy nor struggling lol Mine have moved out . And I was speaking in general of parents that seem to have to put their own lives and wishes on hold for evermore if their offspring decide not to move out. Very nice for you to have a big house but remember these things are not guaranteed in life. Divorce, illness, job loss can ruin people's lives in a very short space of time

It is very possible to live at home - or return home - into your 30s and not be a slouch who can’t do anything for themselves.

Most of the people I know who live at home in their 30s have weird set ups where they’re either working away half the time or have moved home for a year or two whilst they find themselves between places and choose to save what they can.

They're generally not looking to date either, as they know the situation they’re in isn’t ideal.

Not everyone is a middle class professional who is in a long term straight relationship. Life doesn’t have to follow the traditional set up.

Not healthy for anyone but it's very common across the world.
Pooling wealth
Support network for those in the household providing emotional support, friendship and health care.

Achieving independence in the UK comes at a cost. The responsibility for independent housing and social care is increasingly failing in the private sector and the state. This is putting a strain on both public and private finances. The concept of pursuing independence at all costs is proving to be unsuccessful.

My eldest is 24. She moved into a house share at 21 (after uni) she earns 24k but could afford to live independently. She moved home a year ago to save . In a year her and her boyfriend have saved 10k so are two thirds of way to having a house deposit. They also pay a low amount of board.

There are areas of this country that are affordable for young people to rent or buy.

My youngest is disabled he will likely always live with me.it is what it is. There's no guarantees, no one should go in to child rearing with an expectation.

Yes of course.

My dd is 27 and since finishing uni has lived with me. She can stay as long as she likes.

I hope they’ll move out but don’t expect it to be at 18! If they’re living here as adults though they need to contribute to the home they live in like adults - cook, clean etc.

Slowly weaning them away from me being the house skivvy as they get older so I can stop doing and thinking about everything that needs doing at some point! Not making dentist appts for 25 year olds…

3 dc are aged 16 to 7.

We're happy for them all to live at home for as long as they want.

We're not going to be able to gift them any deposits...but we can provide a large home where they all have their own double bedrooms, zero rent or bills to pay and the knowledge that they have a secure home for life.

It's an opportunity that neither dh or i ever had and I really hope they take full advantage of it and stay here until they're in a fantastic position to buy their own home with large saved deposit - whether that's at 20 or 30 or 40.

Haha, I don't quite do that but once a year maybe, Christmas eve, they both stay here and it's absolute bliss having all the chicks back in the nest if only for a few hours.

I'm dreading when my DC move out tbh.

In some ways I quite like the idea of multi generational living but that would very much depend on what their partners are like. It could be quite fraught.

I'd have quite liked to have lived with/closer to my parents when my DC were small to help spread the load.

Lets be honest would any woman on here want to date a 38 year old man who always lived at home with his parents and didn't financially support himself?

No.

And its not different for women either... if you want your able kid to stay home and they haven't even attempted to have a proper adult live in relationship and/or fly the nest by their 30s then you raised nothing but a failed cock lodging mooch. Its not something to be proud of and the amount of parental co-dependency is weird and NOT in your kids interest.

Yes.

It's looking like it might be a struggle for mine to move out due to how expensive housing is now unless you have an inheritance to help them. So long as they pay their share of the rent and bills they can stay. Our main issue is we are over crowded. My 24 and 18yo are currently sharing a room.

So you keep them until they save a big deposit. Does it work that way if you are renting a 2 bed flat and would be financially better off downsizing

@Gogogo12345 What's your problem? I was talking about our own circumstances, not judging what anyone else should do. I clearly said we have a big house which helps. We don't have to downsize.

I'm not interested in what anyone else decides to do. Not sure what your issue is. If you're unhappy/struggling, try not to take it out others.

it should never stop according to @cosyleafcafe

I’ve friends who got married and moved from their parents home to their husbands family homes. Muslim and Sikh. They still live with in-laws 20 plus years later. Ive a non-religious friend who did the same, from her family farm to her in-laws family farm. Her brother and his wife stayed at her family farm.

Multigenerational living is common all over the world.

I have 2 in their 20s, (1 with a child) and a teenager. I'm dreading when they start moving on. Love having a full house, always someone to help with something, and loads of laughing. And having a grand child makes it even better.

So you keep them until they save a big deposit. Does it work that way if you are renting a 2 bed flat and would be financially better off downsizing

If the kids don’t move out, the parents have the option to move out, just saying!

This

I would. I'd probably want a bigger house though. I'd also not want to be the one doing everything - cooking for example would have to be done on a rota. My eldest has moved out but I'm a single parent and the house is pretty quiet, often a bit too much.

I wouldn't be closed to the idea. Got a long way to go until that point mind. As long as they are paying their way and living as adults in the household then I don't think I'd be too bothered.

It wouldn’t bother me if they stayed for a long time / forever. I’m not sitting around desperate for them to fly the nest