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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School Uniforms?

239 replies

tearsandtiaras · 29/08/2024 14:24

My socials are currently filled with anxious posts about being able to afford the correct uniform required for their children.

ND children who won't wear it- parents are anxious how this will be received.

I myself have had sleepless nights considering the cost with zero support from DD father. With added worry that as a full time worker I cannot access the uniform shop in opening times- which offers no option to click/ collect.

I work with families/ children/ teenagers daily- uniform is consistently an adder stressor to their lives.

I cannot understand why in 2024 when most office workers wear smart casual- we inflict this on to our children/ parents. Uniform is outdated.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Flyhigher · 01/09/2024 23:08

Needmorelego · 01/09/2024 21:34

@Flyhigher why can't she wear her "normal" clothes for college?
As in what she already owns. I assume she's been wearing clothes all summer. Does she not already own "6 tops"?

Edited

They are going out tops and not really suitable for school. It's not hard to figure out!

FeelingSoOverwhelmed · 01/09/2024 23:02

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Yes! This is very true. Although I don't teach in England I am sure we share some of the same problems and they cannot all be solved by a stricter uniform.

Interestingly enough, noone (this poster included) has actually answered the question of...if uniform is so integral to good results/behaviour/discipline/lack of bullying/affordable clothes...then how do all the other countries in Europe and beyond manage it?!

gottoget · 01/09/2024 22:58

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Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 22:56

FeelingSoOverwhelmed · 01/09/2024 22:56

I don't think you're making much sense sorry. Your one single handed experience doesn't really cancel out many other experiences from all over the world and it's a little naive and narrow minded of you to think so.

Ok :)

FeelingSoOverwhelmed · 01/09/2024 22:56

Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 22:52

Because I’ve seen it first hand. Without going into detail as it could be outing! Sorry I’m being vague

I don't think you're making much sense sorry. Your one single handed experience doesn't really cancel out many other experiences from all over the world and it's a little naive and narrow minded of you to think so.

Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 22:55

gottoget · 01/09/2024 22:53

I hadn’t realised the one thing those kids had in common was no school uniform - that’s amazing that you put that together - clever old you!🤔

Got to love the sarcasm. We don’t agree, I get it! Not responding to you any more!

gottoget · 01/09/2024 22:53

Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 22:23

Did I imagine teenagers getting arrested in riots? Or dream it?

I hadn’t realised the one thing those kids had in common was no school uniform - that’s amazing that you put that together - clever old you!🤔

Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 22:52

FeelingSoOverwhelmed · 01/09/2024 22:51

Ok, I don't agree with you. So just to clarify what I'm asking, can you please explain why lack of uniform automatically means disrespect to you when lots of countries manage without it, or for example in the case of Scotland, don't reinforce it as strictly?

Because I’ve seen it first hand. Without going into detail as it could be outing! Sorry I’m being vague

Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 22:51

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Excuse me?!

FeelingSoOverwhelmed · 01/09/2024 22:51

Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 22:47

Why is it strange? I’ve seen a few similar responses to mine, just worded differently. If you don’t agree, just say so! It’s a free country.

Ok, I don't agree with you. So just to clarify what I'm asking, can you please explain why lack of uniform automatically means disrespect to you when lots of countries manage without it, or for example in the case of Scotland, don't reinforce it as strictly?

gottoget · 01/09/2024 22:49

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Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 22:47

FeelingSoOverwhelmed · 01/09/2024 22:32

I can see several people have already commented on this but this is a really strange post.

Europe and the US manage fine without uniform. I realise we're talking about the UK (well England really 🙄). I grew up in Spain and I wouldn't say it was any less respectful for not having uniform? Why do you think it is?

I also teach myself, in Scotland which has slightly less strange and random rules about uniform, it isn't really enforced in many schools and I don't think Scottish children are any less respectful. I don't make my (primary) aged children wear uniform if they don't want to on a particular day (or it's not clean/ironed!) and I don't think it's a logical step to assume my children aren't respectful just because they wear clothes that aren't grey and navy to school.

Why is it strange? I’ve seen a few similar responses to mine, just worded differently. If you don’t agree, just say so! It’s a free country.

FeelingSoOverwhelmed · 01/09/2024 22:32

Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 21:22

I had this 20-25 years ago at high school and always felt guilty! It was never me, I was fairly good but I guess they were preaching to the converted about this!

As for the debate about uniform, whilst I disagree with the unaffordable cost of it all. I do have to say that I am old school and like a uniform. It gives a sense of belonging, for most it sets a standard and gives kids motivation to learn etc etc. I’m a teacher, and less strict about what the children wear in my classroom, I’m honestly happy if they are in school, I’d rather see them on their seats, than not at all because they can’t afford the uniform costs, but there are elements of wearing it that make it a necessity for me. They stop wearing uniform, and respect goes. I don’t wear a uniform, but often don’t wear my teaching fatigues anywhere other than my classroom, so it’s a uniform of sorts.

Im sorry but lack of uniform and you are lurching into a lack of respect territory and there has been enough of that from children and teenagers in the UK this summer!!

Edited

I can see several people have already commented on this but this is a really strange post.

Europe and the US manage fine without uniform. I realise we're talking about the UK (well England really 🙄). I grew up in Spain and I wouldn't say it was any less respectful for not having uniform? Why do you think it is?

I also teach myself, in Scotland which has slightly less strange and random rules about uniform, it isn't really enforced in many schools and I don't think Scottish children are any less respectful. I don't make my (primary) aged children wear uniform if they don't want to on a particular day (or it's not clean/ironed!) and I don't think it's a logical step to assume my children aren't respectful just because they wear clothes that aren't grey and navy to school.

worcesterpear · 01/09/2024 22:29

I think generally things go in cycles and I'm surprised the current fetish for uniform has lasted so long (approx 15-20 years for the strict styles). There are debates for and against having a uniform at all, but I think primary should be very laid back/optional jumpers if anything, and secondary should be more like the current primary uniform, or very plain with no logos.

It is not inclusive as it stands, as even if children with asd/sensory issues get given exemptions, they will be visible marked out as different.

Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 22:25

pointythings · 01/09/2024 21:37

Im sorry but lack of uniform and you are lurching into a lack of respect territory

Really? Because my mum taught secondary in the Netherlands and had no problems with maintaining respect and learning at all. No uniform, not for her and not for the students.

Great. I find the Dutch face to face one of the most respectful nations in the world.
Im debating the UK and uniform and respect.

Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 22:23

gottoget · 01/09/2024 21:40

Im sorry but lack of uniform and you are lurching into a lack of respect territory and there has been enough of that from children and teenagers in the UK this summer!! What does this mean - why was this summer so significant?

Did I imagine teenagers getting arrested in riots? Or dream it?

Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 22:22

gottoget · 01/09/2024 21:39

Good job most of us can gain respect in other ways. How do they do it in the rest of Europe? Maybe you need to do some information sharing with the international schools?

Or maybe I don’t! Maybe my knowledge comes from living it day in, day out! What on earth does how other countries do it, have anything to do with the point I’m making! Maybe our armed forces should line the streets and fields of battle in their fatigues too, just to, you know, prove your point!!

gottoget · 01/09/2024 21:40

Im sorry but lack of uniform and you are lurching into a lack of respect territory and there has been enough of that from children and teenagers in the UK this summer!! What does this mean - why was this summer so significant?

gottoget · 01/09/2024 21:39

Supergirl1958 · 01/09/2024 21:22

I had this 20-25 years ago at high school and always felt guilty! It was never me, I was fairly good but I guess they were preaching to the converted about this!

As for the debate about uniform, whilst I disagree with the unaffordable cost of it all. I do have to say that I am old school and like a uniform. It gives a sense of belonging, for most it sets a standard and gives kids motivation to learn etc etc. I’m a teacher, and less strict about what the children wear in my classroom, I’m honestly happy if they are in school, I’d rather see them on their seats, than not at all because they can’t afford the uniform costs, but there are elements of wearing it that make it a necessity for me. They stop wearing uniform, and respect goes. I don’t wear a uniform, but often don’t wear my teaching fatigues anywhere other than my classroom, so it’s a uniform of sorts.

Im sorry but lack of uniform and you are lurching into a lack of respect territory and there has been enough of that from children and teenagers in the UK this summer!!

Edited

Good job most of us can gain respect in other ways. How do they do it in the rest of Europe? Maybe you need to do some information sharing with the international schools?

pointythings · 01/09/2024 21:37

Im sorry but lack of uniform and you are lurching into a lack of respect territory

Really? Because my mum taught secondary in the Netherlands and had no problems with maintaining respect and learning at all. No uniform, not for her and not for the students.

pointythings · 01/09/2024 21:36

Can't wear the same stuff to school and then out.
Yes, you can. My kids did. Manage expectations and learn the constructive use of the word No.

Once she's worn all her stuff to school then she will want other new clothes to go out.
She can want as much as she likes - you don't have to cave.

gottoget · 01/09/2024 21:36

Flyhigher · 01/09/2024 21:25

Her school uniform was about £150.
Now you can't wear a white shirt everyday.
And a blazer.
So at least 6 new tops. And three new jeans
New jacket and shoes. More than school uniform.
Once she's worn all her stuff to school then she will want other new clothes to go out.
Can't wear the same stuff to school and then out.
That's normal. She wanted lots of clothes and that's fine.
Uniform is cheaper. And teens don't need anything else to get nervous about at school.

She really did a number on you!😆

Needmorelego · 01/09/2024 21:34

@Flyhigher why can't she wear her "normal" clothes for college?
As in what she already owns. I assume she's been wearing clothes all summer. Does she not already own "6 tops"?

Flyhigher · 01/09/2024 21:26

You must be going to very nice schools. Our school uniform was cheap.

Flyhigher · 01/09/2024 21:25

Her school uniform was about £150.
Now you can't wear a white shirt everyday.
And a blazer.
So at least 6 new tops. And three new jeans
New jacket and shoes. More than school uniform.
Once she's worn all her stuff to school then she will want other new clothes to go out.
Can't wear the same stuff to school and then out.
That's normal. She wanted lots of clothes and that's fine.
Uniform is cheaper. And teens don't need anything else to get nervous about at school.

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