Are French kids brought up differently to kids in England or were these just some super kids we met on holiday?

True, my middle aged French DH still refuses to eat certain food and vegetables due to being forced to eat them for school lunch.

French kids definitely watching iPhones and iPads on the table whilst eating their breakfast and dinner in the hotel we just have just stayed in all week. Definitely eating chocolate donuts and chips just like all the other nationality children there, definitely had their share of whinging and whining in public too 😆

This is a possibility that I was thinking of.
We live in southern Europe, not far from the coast in a village.
Many of the kids would be as you as describe at this age. Confident swimmers who eat seafood regularly😆

We once stopped off at a French ‘Aire’ to eat our pre-prepared baguette sandwiches from foil packages. Meanwhile a French family laid out a table cloth on their bench, and then the table was laid with baskets of bread, a board of cheese and meats etc, tomatoes- and a bottle of wine! 😂 They don’t fuck about when it comes to meals!

When I was growing up in the ‘80s French kids had a reputation for being appallingly behaved, especially when in school groups. On ferries to and from France it was French kids who were rude and entitled. At campsites it was french kids who would ruin games. At tourist spots on trips with school it was French kids who would be running riot, not listening to their teachers and making everyone else’s lives more difficult. School exchanges had parents wanting the German kids, not the French ones.

That seems to have changed?

I wonder if they grew up to reject that and bring their own kids up differently just as Brits moved into bringing their own kids up to be less well behaved? (And so, in another 30-40 years it will have swapped again…)

Yes I remember one of my dd’s starting maternelle and asking if she could just do mornings to start; and getting a gentle ticking off from the directrice; lunch being one of the most important learning experiences of the day!

With regard to the sea urchins, I do think the French have a very different culture around food and it’s instilled from a young age. Right from crèche children are exposed to sophisticated tastes and textures and learn to appreciate it. Food is a whole topic of conversation and meals are social events with a whole etiquette and culture around them, not functional pit stops for fuel. Obviously not always - but I still think it’s an important pillar of French life (and a source of pride).

Just generally, local sports facilities- like public basketball courts, football grounds etc for amateur teams and kids’ teams tend to be better and more plentiful in France (as well as Germany, Norway and Spain, from what I’ve seen).

There are kids living on estates in Brighton who’ve never even seen the sea!

With regards to swimming, obviously plenty of French children don’t live anywhere near the sea or a lake, but my experience of my visits to France was that the local municipal swimming pools were excellent- and cheap!

😬

My response was to a post claiming that British kids in general have easy coastal access. Which they very clearly don't.

And look at how badly behaved a lot of Scottish teens are. The Scottish system doesn't work.

We do a yearly residential in France with year 6 and the French kids wherever we stay are atrociously behaved! They have very little supervision from their teachers and run riot. They are rude and disdainful. Our children were impeccable. However, the French children do eat what’s in front of them unlike our fine-mouthed charges!

We use to holiday in France every summer when I was a teen. The French kids at the kids club had amazing cooking skills from a young age. Yes they appeared to be fearless in water and were always well behaved and sat for their looonnngggg evening meals for ages. (This was ore screens too)

The Dutch kids always had amazing English (apparently they have a lots of American TV programmes) They also seemed to be given much more independence from a younger age. (4/5)

But this was back when every child had more independence at a younger age than they do today! (7/8)

The school system is rigid and longest hours in Europe. Hardcore. They get used to discipline and rigidity to some extent.

In France this summer a few weeks ago and there were two British families, 2 mums, 2 dads and a number of their kids from 2 to 9 years old at an upmarket campsite restaurant. The parents were sloshed, lots of empties on the table. The kids were running around the restaurant which was outside it's true, but so very loud, screaming, shouting, running past other people's tables. Parents completely ignored them, kids didn't care either, all oblivious to other diners and the impact they were having. I was so embarrassed. What is about British people getting drunk and behaving like arses?

Ma’am, if you aren’t able to detect sarcasm, you should stick to Reddit.

I've no idea but it's weird tbh. We were friends with a French family when I was a kid - we met them because their son ran into our table at full pelt in a restaurant 🤣 But our parents got chatting and we ended up being friends for years. One of the boys would eat anything, the other appeared to survive on chocolate and pastries. Both were very polite and easy going on days out, but tbh so were my brother and I so I didn't think of it as a French thing at all. It was before the days of tablets and smart phones, but we stayed with them a few times and during some of the loooooong meals they'd have, all us kids would have the option of taking our desert to the living room to chill with the telly while the adults kept talking - this was clearly a regular thing, not just because we were there.

Much like most countries than?
That are not land locked.

Of course , there will be all kinds of kids in France, and all types of parents.

But yes,I've heard this before. French parents have typically stronger boundaries, I believe.

This they are probably brought up by the sea and they are of an age where they do complain less

teemagers are hard work on holiday

My experience is 10 years out of date now but French teenagers of my acquaintance would go quite wild when left to their own devices, simply because home and school were so strict.

Speaking very generally though, I think there is a certain “continental resilience” inculcated in to dc in many EU countries that is not as present in UK.

For example UK Health & Safety culture is very strong in comparison.

And I think little kids are encouraged to be more independent younger, and be more aware of personal responsibility. There isn’t the continual narrative of “it’s someone else’s fault” or “someone else will look after me” that you sometimes find in uk. There is pride in being self-sufficient.

I find this strange actually as in many ways the French state is much more present in daily life in France, whereas the UK government is more hands off (or so we like to believe) but maybe having a strong civil society allows you to be more independent and resilient personally?

I would describe many of my French women friends as tough bordering on fierce and I think the toughness gets passed down? As mothers they tend to be pretty strong on discipline and certainly encourage eating en famille with no faddiness. I got used to seeing three year olds tuck in to salads without any problem at all.

I think the French are often portrayed in English-speaking cultures anyway as spontaneous, flirtatious, hedonistic bon viveurs and the reality couldn’t be more different. France can actually be described as quite a conformist, insular, rules-based culture and the education system is pretty brutal with not much room for independent or creative thought. It’s also quite a negative system where children are constantly marked down for quite small mistakes.

All of this leads to children who fit in to society rather than vice versa I think but obviously the two you met op sound pretty exceptional!

I’m British but live in a
Southern Europe country, lots of French people here on holiday at the moment. Round the pool the other day, I noticed they’ were much stricter with their little ones and a fair bit of shouting and smacking bums, is that what makes them behave 🤷🏻‍♀️I’ll pass I think

Were they well-off? I teach in an independent school and was surprised at first at how much more 'daring' the kids seemed - scoffing escargot on French Day, skiing black runs etc. It's money more than nationality, IMO.

Your local schools must not be anywhere more than a few miles from the coast?

You're aware of huge metropolitan areas in Britain, where millions live, and are nowhere near a cove they could claim for parties, right?