Are French kids brought up differently to kids in England or were these just some super kids we met on holiday?

I’ve lived and worked in France and speak fluent French.
French culture is less geared towards pandering to kids. They don’t really have “kid’s food”. They tend to have less toys. Teenagers tend to mix more freely amongst the sexes. Teenaged girls don’t tend to wear a lot of makeup or revealing clothes. Physical exercise is more revered, and kids are expected to fit in with parents. Obviously there are exceptions!

The idealisation of French children is reminding me of the time my brother and I were pushed off a see saw in a town square by French children when we were 5 and 6. Little sods. 😡

The comment about France being shit for cyclists is wrong. Dh cycled the entire length of France without one unpleasant incident he gets shouted at about 3 times a ride 4 hour ride in England by Jeremy Clarkson wannabe twats.

Same here! Angelic when with their parents, demons when not! Wildly generalising I know but something that has been noticed by a few of the activity providers 😉

I’ve just remembered some French parenting I witnessed in Evian that I found sweetly amusing. We were at a play park. My own little girl was in scruffy leggings and a T shirt, while the French girls were in ‘Sunday best’ type outfits- beautiful dresses and smart patent shoes. They were allowed to go on the slide, but their mothers often brushed them down and straightened up their collars etc, while my own child was covered in dust and ice cream by this point and looked neglected. 😂 Looking well-turned out was obviously a priority for these French families, while my main motivation was to tire my child out. Evian is (or was at the time) quite a smart and somewhat old-fashioned town- lots of older ladies in full fur coats with tiny dogs in prams etc so I don’t know whether what I saw was typical of French families or just particular to that area.

The,weekly The UK is,terrible at everything thread including bringing g up kids 🙄

I think that the general attitude to food, and the diet in general is very important. The French seem to understand this.

I can’t comment on behaviour as I think that varies family to family. But I do think in general, English children are poor swimmers in comparison to many other nationalities

In France most parents seem to use controlled crying, so children do sleep through at a young age.

They can also sit and eat round a table and behave suitably because they are used to it. Meals every day are eaten at the table with the family. This used to be the case in the UK, but is now not.
French society also makes a big deal out of the fact that everyone should acknowledge others. So even very young children are expected to say hello to their parents friends and family. Our children do not do that as we don't expect it from them.

I also met a family like that in France.... but they were from Swansea 😂

I meant they aren't very tolerant about SEN in France. That isn't a good thing.

You need to google Maggie Smith on this!!

We had a shared pool and the English and Dutch kids were all bloody annoying the French ones were not. Played quietly and didn’t whine or squawk.

but we are also the parents and they respect that role

I think this is the crux.

It is not that French children are better behaved. French parents are better at parenting and are not afraid to step up to their role.

French society expects children to eat properly and eat a variety of food. The idea of suitable children foods as we have in the UK, really does not exist. Of course there are still kids with ARFID, but general fussiness is not tolerated. And most of what happens in the UK is just fussiness.

I wonder what happens to all the French autistic kids who can't be all nice in public? Oh yeah hidden away.

My kids swim like that, but because we swim a lot. And will try most things at least once (2 out of 3 will at least).

They're not fans of speaking to people however

I’m French and yes, I think so. They aren’t always ‘better’ but on the whole they are better behaved, more active, and eat better.

We have high expectations of behaviour in some circumstances and some things are non-negotiable.

None of my French friends have babies that weren’t sleeping at 10 months, or NT kids that didn’t eat veg, they can all sit through an adult meal at a restaurant without screens and noise. We play games, chat, are very well connected as a family, but we are also the parents and they respect that role.

I know this will get me flamed, but that’s honestly my experience.

I do also meet many British kids that behave well and they’re the one’s whose parents have similar parenting style.

Just come back from holiday in the South of France and didn’t find the French children any better behaved. We stayed where there was a mix of French, German, Dutch, Belgium and British children. The Dutch were the worst behaved definitely.

Also the Mumsnet stereotype of French women being slim and polished did not ring true either.

I don’t particularly want ‘tough’ kids to be honest. Or tough people in my life at all. Not for me.

You must be very unfortunate because it has never happened to me!

Don't older siblings love to tell their younger ones what to do? I know my nieces and nephews are much more likely to remind their siblings to say please and thank you than they are to do it themselves. It's really not a French trait.

After enduring my kids this summer, I'm all for stricter parents.

I could not believe how ungrateful and petulant (what I thought my usually well behaved DC) were when we were away. Whining about being bored, whining about visiting cities, whining about going to the beach. It was dreadful.

I came to the conclusion that what I thought were well behaved kids was in fact just my very obviously low measurement bar which more far more apparent when the kids are not in the their usual environment.

I think many of us are so used to our own kids and as parents are programmed to see their good sides, that we don't realise how poor their behaviour is at times.

I often thought there was a big difference between children who are brought up with full access to nature and a rural environment in comparison to kids who are brought up in suburbs and cities, but having seen my friend's kids in a rural environment, who behave very similarly to my own kids, I don't believe this anymore.

I think parenting styles are the main factor.

I think there is:

• more social pressure in France on children behaving in public places. I think screaming kids running wild in restaurants, cafes, trains and in public in general while parents just look on is a very British thing...

• better discipline in most schools

• better diets which I think definitely has an impact on behaviour.

Let's remember as well that the French state tend to spend more money on health, social care and schools than the UK does.

My experience of French children on long distance trains is the same as yours.