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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it’s odd for someone to have their phone on DND for days?

39 replies

thoughtfulfriend · 29/08/2024 12:38

Hi everyone,

I’m trying to understand a situation with a friend who’s recently put their phone on Do Not Disturb, and it’s been like this for several days now. We had no major falling out, but communication has been a bit strained. They mentioned being ill and needing some quiet, but it's unusual to not have any communication for this long.

AIBU to think it's a bit odd for someone to keep their phone on DND for such an extended period? Could this be a sign of something more, like needing space or dealing with something personal? I’m trying to respect their space, but I’m also a bit worried. Would appreciate any insights or similar experiences.

OP posts:
AlwaysConfuseddd · 29/08/2024 13:22

My phone is on DND a lot, always when I'm driving. I only turn it off If I'm expecting an important call or if I have plans with someone that day. It's nice to not be constantly available.

Prawncow · 29/08/2024 13:16

Do they have no other friends or family? Are you their sole/main social connection?

thursdaymurderclub · 29/08/2024 13:16

My phone is always on silent.. and i just switch to DND when i go to bed! i have it set up for certain people to contact me DH, DC and that thats it.. How do you know its on DND? has the friend told you this?

I'd just check in your friend, a quick, hi hope you are ok and then take it from there.

loropianalover · 29/08/2024 13:13

Mine is always on DND in some form, I have it set up to go into different focus modes (there are work/sleep options on iPhone) depending on time of day. I’m much more relaxed for it.

It never means that I’m ignoring any person in particular, more that I want to just be able to ignore notifications in general.

Skyrainlight · 29/08/2024 13:10

I don't think it's odd at all. Especially if people are dealing with mental health issues and just need peace, quiet and alone time.

pinkroses79 · 29/08/2024 12:54

Not really, my son often leaves his phone like that for long periods of time. I think he does it because he doesn't want his phone invading his life (sometimes)! But he still calls and messages when he wants to,

chipsandpeas · 29/08/2024 12:52

its easier to put/leave on DND that silencing all app notifications

LoremIpsumCici · 29/08/2024 12:50

They mentioned being ill and needing some quiet,..

So it’s not odd then. Many illnesses last longer than a few days.

EmeraldRoulette · 29/08/2024 12:49

Someone I know does this for a few weeks at a time

of course people who are important to her can get through in those periods

I don’t think DND works the same on all phones but if you’re sure that’s what it is, then I’d imagine she’s fine

With the person I mentioned, I find she normally reappears and sends a message eventually but I’ve assumed it’s no longer a friendship.

I get tired of no reply to messages but there’s no bad feeling from my side. DND is a message in itself if it goes on for ages.

i hope your friend is recovering. Sorry I’m tired so I keep editing 😂 illness is different isn’t it. Could be a while.

ExpectantEs · 29/08/2024 12:48

My phone was on DND for about 6 months straight a few years ago. I was overwhelmed by calls and texts. When I did see those calls/texts I would return them when I could. Wasn't personal to anybody

Sweetteaplease · 29/08/2024 12:46

My phone is alalways on silent, I check it semi regularly. Nothing is so urgent I need to answer the phone immediately

Mrsttcno1 · 29/08/2024 12:45

I can see where this is done to be honest. When my daughter was born I had my phone on DND for about 10 days, I was absolutely shattered, was recovering from birth, I was overwhelmed and just didn’t want to see a million notifications popping up on my phone with messages etc that I then felt pressured to reply to. I can see where if I was unwell or going through something in my personal life I would do it again, it gave me the space I needed

Edingril · 29/08/2024 12:41

My phone is permanently on silent, if it is on DND you must vw able to have contact with them know what you know about it

I presume they will contact you when they feel the need

FourthEdition · 29/08/2024 12:40

They might just have forgotten they did it. DD does this regularly when it's been turned on so she can work, then forgets and wonders why no one has been in touch...