Dinner times at grandparents'

No it's not. You have to allow time for it to digest before you go to bed. We all have dinner at 5 ish and I am doing the 18:6 diet so I don't eat again until the following lunchtime.

If the kids dinner needed to be fed early to correspond with bed time then I'd feed them at 5, then adults at our usual time.
If it was more flexible and kids wouldn't get grumpy etc I'd feed everyone at around 7.30pm.
But I'd check with the parents first what they'd prefer.

I would bring something for my child to eat at 5-6pm (some pasta that can be heated up), then everyone eat when the children are in bed around 9pm. That’s what we do in the week.

You’re lucky to be in jobs that allow you to do that

Feed the kids earlier, then put them to bed so adults can eat.

We eat at 5:30 every day because of the importance of modelling family meals to children.

DH and I eat very late. Mid 60s, still working. No GC yet.

If we have GC and they visit with their parents (DS/DIL or DD/potential son in law), our family will be our guests and as good hosts, we will accommodate their wishes/needs even if it means compromising our routine. I'd probably do tea for all with the DC because eating is social and a light supper for the grown-ups after the DC were in bed.

I can't see it being a problem.

Our parents always worked with us for mealtimes for the DCs when they were that little. We also compromised where necessary to accommodate them. In this situation I think 6:30ish should work for everyone.

If we were staying somewhere and the hosts wanted to eat at 8 or 9 and we had young DC, I'd just say that was great and feed the kids early and put them down and enjoy an adult dinner with wine. Is that the grandparents' expectation?

When are the children going to bed in this world where they eat at 8 or 9?

Kids eat at their normal time, adults eat at their normal time, after kiddy bedtime. If you’re going out you all eat together but compromise and eat about 6-6.30.

I’d say to the guests that I am doing dinner at X time but if they want to feed kids earlier set out the options- like you’re welcome to make a sandwich/ cook something from the freezer/ give the kids a snack (cereal, crackers etc) then then join the adults later.

What I would not be doing is making everyone eat at 5pm, cooking twice, or cooking everyone’s meal early (so that it’s manky and congealed by the time the adults eat). Obviously if it’s already been cooked- like a stew overnight or leftovers then this wouldn’t be an issue.

Every time I have had my grandchildren round for a meal I have fed them according to their timetable
Actually though we don't have a fixed meal time. I think it's important to be flexible and I would always put guests first
If the grandparents can't eat at that time they should at least feed the children earlier.
Tired , hungry and grumpy children are a recipe for disaster!

I expect a decent host to realise that most under 5s are in bed at that dinner time (which is also probably preferable for the adults). If host appeared oblivious - or deliberately obtuse - I would offer to make a children's tea at 5ish.

Grandma here! Children fed at very close to their normal time. Parents can choose to eat then, or later. Or offered to babysit so parents can go out for a meal.

I would speak to the parents. We have the kids but in our house in that situation we would feed the children at 5 and the adults would eat later. There's no way the kids (nor I) could wait that long to eat and I'd have them in bed well before that!

As long as the children aren't refused snacks to keep them going I wouldn't have had a problem giving my kids a later than normal dinner if it suited the hosts. It's not something I'd hold against them. As host, not sure, I'm quite unorganised so cooking for everyone for 5 would be tricky.

I'd do the kids dinner at their usual time of 5ish (or ask their parents to cook for them at that time), but then I would do the adults meal at around 8ish. Thats how I brought up my DC as I couldnt eat as early as them but they definitely needed to eat at that time.

But, I would clarify dinner timings with my DC before they arrived so everyone knew what the plan was and was happy with it.

Are they aware the children eat that early? I’m assuming you’re one of the parents in this situation; if the grandparents weren’t eating until late why didn’t you (or your partner if staying with ILs) either say something or make something for the kids yourselves? I can’t imagine not being comfortable enough in my own parents house to rustle something up for a toddler.

In my 20s I finished work at 6pm and had over an hour's commute so I got used to eating at 8pm or later. Tea on the table at 5 is dependent on someone being home in the afternoon which isn't very common these days.

My guess is that you're the parent getting ammo for your in-laws who aren't prepared to all eat at 5.

Based on my ILs, dinner would be at 8/8.30 but we would be welcome to raid the cupboards to make something earlier for the youngest. 5+ and they would be expected to stay up.

We all eat here early, but often have lunch at 11.30 and dinner at 4.45 if the kids are hungry. Whatever suits the kids is good for us

I usually eat at 8:30 so I wouldn’t like to eat at 5pm.

I absolutely wouldn’t expect under 5s to eat at 8:30 and would be happy to move forward to 7 or alternatively cook something for DGC earlier. But it would be unreasonable to expect adults to eat at 5pm

I would talk to the parents and if easier let them cook at the normal time for the children.

Feed the kids at their usual time, adults eat later.

Oh god, I remember having this with my dad. Could not or would not comprehend the fact that tiny children couldn’t wait till 7 pm for their dinner or that if they had to, a substantial savoury snack would be required mid afternoon.

Used to really grate as the reason he wanted it at 7 was to fit in a few beers beforehand.

My Mum who was the one cooking didn’t mind moving it but he got in such a sulk if anyone tried. The kind of man who will keep harking back and complaining if he doesn’t get his way, so it can’t just be that was how it panned out, he’d have to go on and on about how it was too early to eat.