Dinner times at grandparents'

Well because adults who usually eat early are adults and therefore able to cope with being out of routine a bit. Have a snack at 5ish, eat dinner at 9, perhaps a little less than normal to account for having had a snack at 5pm.

I mean, I expect adults to act like adults, I will always make allowances for children to act like children.

You can't make the tiny ones wait until 8pm to eat!
Even if they're staying up for a special occasion they need a tasty snack late afternoon.
It would be mean to leave them hungry.

When I stay at my mums I cook tea for the kids myself and they eat earlier - they go to bed at 7 so all hell would break loose if they had to wait for an 8pm dinner!!!

Not for small children who go to bed at seven

@Cobblersorchard I had already suggested in my earlier post that young children could be fed at 5 if that's when they usually eat.

But when we were away in holiday when our daughter was about five, we tended to eat earlier than usual at about 8 and she ate with us. Part of the excitement of being on holiday for her was eating later, going out at night, and going to bed late. There was always plenty of time to sleep in the next day if she was tired. Whenever my daughter stayed with my mum when she was that age, they used to eat at about 7.30 - again it was part of the fun of being away from home for a night.

We eat at 5:30 every day because of the importance of modelling family meals to children

Many people aren't even home from work at that time, let alone had time to cook a meal.

Well we have tea around 5/6 at the latest here, even weekends. So I'd be sorting myself and the kids.

When we go to grandparents either parents make food for under fives at the children's usual time and adults eat once the children are in bed, or it's all brought forward to around 6pm.

We're another one who always does kids tea at about 5pm and then the adults eat once they're in bed, usually after 8pm as that allows a bit of time for extra faff at being time due to being in unfamiliar beds.
We do similar at home too. I only eat at 5pm with the DC if DH was out and I couldn't be bothered to cook for myself. We rarely ate as a family

This

Our family meal is generally at 5.30 (we WFH) and when we go to grandparents they kindly make the meal at 6/6.30. Yes 8pm is too late for little kids, unless they're already acclimated to a later schedule. I'm not a huge fan of separate meals for kids and adults but if the host prefers then it's an option. I remember being someone who couldn't fathom eating before 8pm - before I had kids. Now half the time I'm ready for bed then...

Early dinner, early bed.

Simples

Why is it any more unfair than making adults who normally eat at 5pm wait until 9pm?

I suppose that would be unfair too. Though I would have thought it's quite unusual for adults to eat that early. We usually eat around 7.30pm but loads of my friends eat later than that.

I recently stayed at my parents house with my 2 and 4 year old, they did early dinner for the kids at around 5 pm and then the adults all ate later. This would be my preference, but I also wouldn't mind kids and adults eating at 6pm (at the latest) to save cooking twice.

Why do you expect other people to change their meal time but not you?

Yeah what are all these people doing who can “model family meals” (which is a horrifically smug term in itself), at 5pm? I’m still at my desk by then! Are they also modelling being unemployed or having a trust fund! Even when my kids were in full time nursery we didn’t pick them up until 6.30 at the earliest (they’d have lunch early, then nap, a snack around 4/5ish and then eat with us at 7, in bed for 8.30 ish).

In most countries it’s very normal for kids to be up a bit later with maybe a snack around 4pm- think France, Spain, Italy. It’s quite a Victorian concept to be feeding kids at 5 and then packing them off to bed. Obviously if it works for you/ your family then that’s fine but you wouldn’t get many European families all eating a big dinner at 5pm (apart from perhaps the Dutch, although I think even they are a bit later) and I think it would be a bit OTT to insist upon it in someone else’s house.

Id be stunned if that was true - I don’t know what one who has dinner between 5-6pm.

I always feed my grandchildren at about 5:30 when they are staying here because that is the time they eat at home. Young children eating at around 8 is ridiculous. My husband and I eat when they are in bed.

What time do you think small children go to bed?! Most need 11-12hrs sleep so they have to be in bed 7-8 depending on what time they need to be out in the morning.

I see where you are coming from but kids had had something at nursery and weren't waiting till later.
I worked nights and weekends so different work hours.

It’s perfectly possible to have a family meal later than 5:30

My kids are in bed by 7, dinner at 4:30

Agree the kids should eat then if that’s what works, but a bit unfair to make adults eat that early.