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Original poster

Dinner times at grandparents'

210 replies

applestrudels · 29/08/2024 12:04

If you had very young grandchildren (under 5), who usually ate dinner at 5pm, whereas you normally ate dinner between 8 and 9pm, and then you invited your grandchildren, along with their parents, to stay at your house for a few days, would you try and make the children's dinner at 5pm, or would you stick to your normal routine of dinner anywhere between 8 and 9pm, or would you compromise (so, 6 or 7pm)?

YANBU: I would try and make dinner earlier, at least for the children
YABU: My house, my rules. Dinner is at MY usual time.

OP posts:
Lollipop81 · 30/08/2024 19:45

Runningupthecurtains · 30/08/2024 19:25

But home workers all swear they are working not cooking during office hours 😉

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Ha ha yes of course we do lol, but my point is more there is no commute home. So I finish at 4 and am able to cook dinner, collect kids from after school club and we eat at 5. Couldn’t have done that in pre covid times with an hour commute home.

chickencat5 · 30/08/2024 19:44

My parents do dinner earlier for us but it's still late for us but they still work when we visit, we stay for a week usually, so my dad finishes work at 6 and cooks dinner for us where as we would be finished at 6/6.30, I bath my son and get him ready for bed before dinner before so he goes down around 8 8.30.

leopardski · 30/08/2024 19:39

When we’re with the GPs over holidays we always just do an early picky tea for the kids at their usual time, and all the adults have dinner together when they’re in bed. Seems to work for everyone! All the kids in our extended family are 6 and under.

pizzaHeart · 30/08/2024 19:37

applestrudels · 29/08/2024 15:16

They are well aware of our normal schedule, they often come and stay at ours.

It's not so much of an issue now, as now I do feel comfortable raiding the fridge and cooking something myself (it's my ILs, not my own parents), and we now bring our own food for the children too, although when our firstborn was little and we hadn't got into the swing of things yet, it was quite stressful sometimes.

I was just curious to understand if it was a common thing to do, really, as it's not a dealbreaker or anything, but it does just make staying there more stressful and less enjoyable for us, when a compromise (6:30 or 7, say) would just make things so much easier.

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The general rule is if you want your children and grandchildren to visit you, you make their visits less stressful and more enjoyable by accommodating them as much as you can.
The mealtime of course of course is not a deal breaker but I bet all of us prefer places where we feel more comfortable.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 30/08/2024 19:36

I'd just feed the children at their normal time of 5pm and adults eat later at GPs preferred time.

Mrsgreen100 · 30/08/2024 19:31

I always taught my kids to eat with family, so if away maybe compromise with 6.30
and let them have healthy snacks in the afternoon
from a babe in arms my son ate at restaurants etc and when tired just napped in my arms
older he knew how to behave at the table
now in his twenties loves food and the social
time it brings
always did tbh ,

Justontherightsideofnormal · 30/08/2024 19:27

8/9pm at night is so late to eat. I'm often in bed by this time and when my DC were you g they were in bed by 7pm. Tea was about 4pm
I went away for a long weekend with my DH last week and we booked our evening meals for 5:30pm 😂

Runningupthecurtains · 30/08/2024 19:25

Lollipop81 · 30/08/2024 19:19

I would think with so many people working from home it is more common nowadays than in the past

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But home workers all swear they are working not cooking during office hours 😉

Lollipop81 · 30/08/2024 19:19

Runningupthecurtains · 29/08/2024 12:29

In my 20s I finished work at 6pm and had over an hour's commute so I got used to eating at 8pm or later. Tea on the table at 5 is dependent on someone being home in the afternoon which isn't very common these days.

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I would think with so many people working from home it is more common nowadays than in the past

Lollipop81 · 30/08/2024 19:17

Marnieloves · 29/08/2024 12:20

5PM is absurdly early for dinner!

not in my house. We are all different.

PolePrince55 · 30/08/2024 19:09

Children at normal time or shortly after. Suits either with children or when they go to bed.

Washingupdone · 30/08/2024 19:07

A small meal at 5 pm with no dessert to tide them over, no sweets, and then an 8pm with the family. Think continental family holidays.

BarbaraHoward · 30/08/2024 18:57

DoctorLove · 30/08/2024 18:29

Who eats at 8/9pm? That is entirely abnormal in my opinion and a recipe for health issues, notably acid reflux and tooth decay due to reflux as your stomach won't have had time to digest and empty before bed.

We would've always eaten around 8 pre DC.

Also 8pm is a very very normal time to book a restaurant.

CWigtownshire · 30/08/2024 18:52

Marnieloves · 29/08/2024 12:20

5PM is absurdly early for dinner!

My partner starts work at 5am, so 5pm for dinner is not absurdly early for us to have dinner, it is sometimes earlier!

Melodysmum12 · 30/08/2024 18:48

If GP’s knew kids ate at 5 I’d make sure kids ate at 5 and adults ate at the usual time with the GP’s

Beautiful3 · 30/08/2024 18:44

I'd make the kids tea at 5pm, something simple like pizza/cheese & beans on toast/noodles/soup & bread/macNcheese. Then the adult eat a proper dinner later on. If the kids are still awake and hungry, I'd give them a bit in a bowl.

DoctorLove · 30/08/2024 18:29

Who eats at 8/9pm? That is entirely abnormal in my opinion and a recipe for health issues, notably acid reflux and tooth decay due to reflux as your stomach won't have had time to digest and empty before bed.

PayYourselfFirst · 30/08/2024 18:22

Catterpillarsflipflops · 29/08/2024 12:42

We eat at 5:30 every day because of the importance of modelling family meals to children.

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This is easily done for breakfast, lunch and at weekends.

PayYourselfFirst · 30/08/2024 18:18

Underthesinkk · 29/08/2024 13:59

I have one not even in their pre-school year and we're often still at the table at 7, although granted we're eating dessert by then. They haven't napped in over a year. Children don't have to eat at 5 and be in bed at 7. Mine has a few crackers at nursery at 4ish but it isn't what I'd class as a meal and they are expected to sit at the table nicely with us to all eat together when we're home from work.

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Mine would have been asleep in their food !

Preschool age -dinner at 5 then bath and sound asleep by 7pm
They often slept until 7am
Children don't get enough sleep these days.

Sharptonguedwoman · 30/08/2024 18:06

Marnieloves · 29/08/2024 12:20

5PM is absurdly early for dinner!

Not for a child. Quite normal going by grandparents I know.

LostittoBostik · 30/08/2024 16:31

Compromise at 6pm, no later

Gogogo12345 · 30/08/2024 16:29

OneFastDuck · 30/08/2024 11:46

No, I don't work full time. We completely changed our lifestyles to allow part time for me as that's what's best for our young children. I'm not sure why working times matter to when grandparents allow small children to eat!

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They matter to mostpeople as to what ti e their kids are fed.And grandparents may also be working until 6pm as well so would be difficult doing a kids dinner at 5

OneFastDuck · 30/08/2024 11:46

Gogogo12345 · 29/08/2024 14:26

I guess you either not working full time or don't see them on work days then

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No, I don't work full time. We completely changed our lifestyles to allow part time for me as that's what's best for our young children. I'm not sure why working times matter to when grandparents allow small children to eat!

DataColour · 30/08/2024 09:37

We've always eaten with our kids at dinner time, between 6-6.30.
My in-laws like to eat late but they will serve "nibbles" before....they are weirdly formal. Salty fatty snacky things. The kids will eat them and lose their appetite for dinner and then dinner time is stressful as they won't eat properly. My parents would just let me dictate what time and what they eat. So much easier.

BarbaraHoward · 30/08/2024 09:09

Daisybuttercup12345 · 30/08/2024 08:20

Not when your child goes to bed at 6pm.

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Surely not many DC are going to bed at 6pm?! We'd never see them if we ran on that routine, and we'd be up at stupid o'clock too.