To have said this in front of my husbands (and mine boss)

Good for you OP, hopefully he’ll think before belittling you next time, he sounds like a twat. Agree with everything @Maray1967 said. Hope you’re ok.

If you are at breaking point then it is hardly surprising. If it is the kind of thing you say quite often then you are being unreasonable. Did you say it in front of your 13yr old who was at the party or just your boss? Your boss doesn’t really matter but saying stuff like that in front of your children does matter.

Sounds like you've been pushed to the limit, and we all have thresholds. Whatever anyone else says on here, yes it is your business who your 18 year old goes home with, she's your daughter and you care about her, even if she's old enough. Yes it's also his responsibility.
Sit down with him 1to1, apologise for reacting in public like you did, and at the same time re state exactly what you said.
All the best

Yeah she missed an opportunity there!!

@VickyMcVities is the 'boss' family?

Frankly, he's lucky that's all you said. Get him told properly.

To be clear, he’s been belittling you in front of others for years. You’ve finally snapped and had a go back. I’m not sure what else he expected you to do - he clearly thinks it’s fine to say what he wants to say in public. His boss probably he’s knows he’s an idiot as well.

The scene was already caused. Have you never been with a couple where the guy puts down his wife like that? It's excruciating to watch. Embarrassing for anyone with an ounce of emotional intelligence. The OP just brought the whole horrible social faux pas to an end, albeit more dramatically. But at least she made it stop. Her H could have gone on like that all evening which would have been awful for all.

It's probably the result he is looking for, but too cowardly to instigate

Just divorce him.
With the example you have given is well more than enough. He is utterly stupid.

Yes, as can be seen from my long response !! I agree as well. He richly deserved it.

Wow. So it’s ok for him to belittle her in front of the kids and her boss, but not for her to push back?

I mean I would have saved the divorce word for a private moment… but not the overall pushback.

Presumably he’s been told in private many times. Some men don’t realise what their wife says is important unless someone else is there to hear it. DH had to learn that what I said mattered and wasn’t a passing fancy I was wittering about- it took be hissing and swearing at him before he realised that I actually meant what I was saying and cared about it and expected him to pay attention. He’d managed to fail to realise I was communicating things that were important to me, rather than just making conversation.

You were hugely unreasonable to do it in front if his boss but he is a dickhead and you are not wrong for your concerns or his belittling you.

Ok, so not the best time and situation to have said it, but I have a lot of sympathy for you. My DH belittled my concerns over safety with our children, especially DS2 as a baby eg having him up on the settee with him when I knew DH was tired and I was worried about DS2 rolling off. And then the inevitable happened on holiday in a caravan - I needed a shower after swimming and I asked him to put DS (6 months) on the playmat and sit with him. He said I was being ridiculous as he was fine. I was 5 minutes in the shower and I heard the thud - DH had clearly nodded off. Cue a rush to French A&E and a hard discussion with Drs. When we’d put the DC to bed I told DH to go to bed and that I would stay up all night and do the two hour checks on DS2, but that if he ever ridiculed my safety concerns ever again we were done.

That was the end of them - he definitely learned. What the Dr said basically gave DH the shock of his life. It’s very concerning in your case that the incident where your DC fell out of the window didn’t result in change. The case you were concerned about now is tricky as your DD is 18 - but I can see your concerns. To be honest, I wouldn’t apologise or back down- I’d double down now. He was a total dickhead whose stupidity led to a serious injury. That might have been years ago, but he clearly hasn’t learned, and I would have exploded long before now. I’d be telling him he’s had it coming for years.

He thinks it's acceptable to belittle you in front of other people so he got a taste of his own medicine didn't he. Maybe he'll think before trying to make you look stupid and irrational to others from now on.

I don't know how you've put up with it for that long.

Why is it at personal costs to you reducing your hours to care for family? Is he not financially supporting you as your husband?

does he belittle you in other areas of your life. He sounds a bit of a bully and this could well be the tip of the iceberg!

id consider your options of leaving him if there is more to it like him not supporting financially or this being regular put downs in other areas of your life too

It sounds like you’re at breaking point. I hope you’re able to take some time for you at some point, it sounds like you’re under huge pressure atm.

Tbh if I'd have been there I'd have been applauding you. I despise men who try to look the big man by belittling their wives and always pity the woman. I think I'd have felt relieved that you stuck up for yourself and weren't completely under his thumb. I'd have judged him six ways to Sunday though and it would have effected how I viewed him at work. But then I'm a woman boss. Regardless its done and I think perhaps represents a watershed moment? Your Hs arrogance and desire to show who's boss by deliberately undermining you has already injured one of your children. He's a liability.

At least you didn’t say to his boss “Is he this
much of a twat at work?”

I think it's fair enough you finally stood up for yourself.
We all crack sometimes. I bet his boss just found it amusing.

OP well done you! 👏

At worst you made your OH and boss embarrassed, but I'd say his constant belittling you is so much worse. Amazed at some of the previous responses to you've received, but as women we are literally conditioned to absorbing male behaviour. Heaven forbid you stand up for yourself and make a guy uncomfortable!

And sorry for the extra stress that you are going through. If nothing else your OH needs to be making sure he supports YOU at a time like this.

you were a bit of a cow

why is she sleeping in a car?

Exactly.

But perhaps you wouldn’t belittle your partner in front of her boss in the first place.

Yanbu. He deserved it.

Typically, you’ll get loads of people telling you YABU because women are never allowed to answer back.