To have said this in front of my husbands (and mine boss)

Well done. How your marriage survived the winfow incident is beyond me.

He sounds like a nasty twat and a tool.

When you are through this period of stress, do divorce him, it sounds like you are well done.

Don't blame you either.

On the basis of the OP's post, the OP comes across as a controlling dramatist.

Don’t torture yourself OP. I would imagine bystanders would have thought you were joking. OR, alternatively, they know him and the fact that he is a dick and glad got the earful he deserved.

Your daughter can sleep where she likes.

Saying that so publicly was unreasonable, yes.

As others have pointed out breastfeeding doesn't render you immobile. Pathetic excuse.

And the OP is beyond unreasonable raising talk about divorce at a party in front of her 13 year old child.

How would the boss know that he is a knob at home, from what the OP said? For all anybody knows the boss could think that the OP is controlling, dramatic, or any number of things.

Nothing in this interaction made the dh look like 'a knob'. THIS interaction was about the 18 yo at a party and op stressing 'she'll freeze' in the car. Threatening a divorce over this just looks ridiculous.

He had no problem belittling you in front of his boss so I think it’s fair game to stand up for yourself in front of the boss. If he didn’t want you to respond he shouldn’t have belittled you in front of the boss. It was his choice to FAFO.

Totally get what you mean OP. Sounds like the straw that broke the camels back.

He was embarrassing her and made everybody else uncomfortable who have no idea about their home dynamics by mocking her publicly where he believed she wouldn't be able to respond. It's a well known form of coercive control and abuse, to make her feel small, insignificant, imply that everybody thinks she's crazy/stupid and laughing at her.

It's just as likely that the people around were thinking how awful he was to be trying to bully her in front of them and use them as tools to hurt her - and were very much cheered by her response and the look on his face when she asserted herself.

Not ok to do in front of the boss. Could have been said in private.

Did you think he had closed the window until the accident? Did he imply he had?

Brilliant that so many women on here are so conditioned to “put up and shut up” that they’re jumping down this woman’s throat. The worst thing a woman could do is cause a scene in public apparently! Let’s all clutch our pearls. No mention of him belittling her constantly and putting her down? No empathy for someone at breaking point?

Women! Know your place and act “respectfully” at all times.

Good for you. Hopefully his boss knowing he’s a knob at home might cool his jets a bit.

Yes YWBU

you've only succeeded in embarrassing yourself, and your husband. I'm sure they're all wondering if you're ok.

I'm sorry. This all sounds very stressful.

I'm interested in how your boss responded.

I would hope they would have sought you out and asked if everything was OK and if there was anything they could do to support you (workwise).

It sounds like you need to be properly heard, rather than people just listening to reply (like your DH?) iyswim.

Ah I forgot you can't move whilst breastfeeding.

I'm sorry, like I say the husband is a twat, but if I knew he'd not shut the door or window I'd have done it myself.

100 percent.

Nonsense, no one is arguing she shouldn’t have said it, what’s been said is she should have done so privately . She just looked like a twat. Especially as it was in relation to undermining her with not a child but an adult

DH should have shut the door when asked to prevent an accident.

Op should have shut the door when he didn't, to prevent an accident.

They are both equally at fault for the accident that then happened.

Because as i say, preventing an accident to a child is way more important than "he didnt do it so why should I?".

If I asked my DP to shut the door because I was worried, and he didn’t, I’d shut it myself. No way would I leave it, putting a dc at risk and then keep bringing it up 13 years later to beat him with.

Valid,

I don't think that's what people are saying, it's 'the window needed closing, someone close it'. Equally it could be said 'you don’t think op had to shut the window but the dh did when he was told to? As in it’s not her fault for not closing the window but it is his fault for not closing the window?'
The fact that the 'legitimate concerns' and the divorce threat were used in relation to an 18 yo at a party, don't help the argument that op isn't dramatising. awaiting the 'you're clearly a MAN comments.

Oh right as breastfeeding makes you incapable . Yup got it, will inform every single breastfeeding mother they can’t possibly breast feed and care for any other kids, who knew. Thanks for enlightening us.

I picked up on the "having to cut down my hours at my own expense"
He is wrong it is Not Right. The loss of family income should be borne by the total combined family finance.
You are married they are joint children brought up as part of The Family.